BEWARE THE BITTER ROOT

Ever been disappointed, rejected, betrayed?

I'm thinking if you've lived past high school (or even earlier?), the answer to that question is yes.

An unfortunate statistic.

But people have a way of hurting other people.  Sometimes it's intentional, often it's not.  Mostly it doesn't matter.  

Hurt still hurts.

And though hurt often leads to sad, sometimes it leads to MAD!

If I'm honest, I find that most of the time I get angry, it's really because I've gotten hurt.  Anger seems to be the go-to reaction.  Why is that, I wonder?  I think it has something to do with vulnerability – about how being vulnerable makes us feel small – victimized, dismissed, invalidated, diminished.  

And we are, perhaps, never more vulnerable than when we've been hurt.

That's understandable.

But woe to the angry one!

Because anger is like a weed in our hearts – a weed that can quickly grow roots of bitterness.

And bitter roots are dangerous, choking things.  They are deadly.

I've been thinking about this lately.

Been going through some new hurts – new hurts that are also stirring up some old hurts.

I am dismayed at how easily I have become an emotional bookkeeper.

Yup, I'm a good little accountant – keeping tally of perceived wrongs. Keeping careful track of all the hurts inflicted on me.  Recording the wounds, checking off the snubs and slights, adding up the words and the attitudes and the actions.

Marking them all down in red – until, before I know it...

I'm seeing RED!

Ugly admission, but true.

The enemy is quite happy about this.

After all, he's pleased when people visit H & R Beelzebub.

"Bring those receipts to me.  Yes indeed.  Let's add things up here.  Sure enough, you've overpaid.  People have taken advantage of you.  You've been shortchanged.  People OWE you…"

The fine print?  "Those shallow, selfish, evil people.  You're better than they are.  You should hate them…"

His math?  Hurt + Anger = Bitterness.

Oh, what a battle it is when you feel *entitled* to your feelings.

Now, I'm not one to dismiss those feelings.  Feelings are real.  But they don't need to rule.

That's the secret, and that's the challenge.

Learning how to face the feelings, feel them, and then to let them go.

But, it's the only thing to do.

Because once those roots of bitterness begin to grow, they grow deep. They cut a wide path of destruction.  They kill good plants, and thwart any growth of new fruit.

Like I said – deadly.

It's why God warns us so much about anger.  He knows it's a seed planted…

"And 'don't sin by letting anger control you.'  Don't let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a foothold to the devil."  
(Ephesians 4:26-27, NLT)

"Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires."  
(James 1:20, NLT)


So, is anger wrong?

No, Jesus Himself got angry.  But God warns us against being angry…and sinning.

It's not the feeling that causes the problem.  It's the underlying reasons for the anger, and the indulging of anger that leads to problems.

It is *feeling the feeling* and letting it fester.  Ruminating upon it.  Feeding the flames.  Letting it lead us to bitterness.

Forgiveness?

No room for that in a bitter and resentful heart.

And God calls us to something bigger – something behind the act of forgiveness.  He calls us to love.

And love requires poor bookkeeping:

"It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs."  (1 Corinthians 13:5, NIV)

God calls us to forgive the debts AND the debtors...

...the debtors AND the debts.

Sigh.

I am facing a battle inside myself lately.  Knowing that the old devil is trying to inflame my hurts.  Trying to stimulate my anger – trying to make it feel righteous.

He's trying to water the roots…

Me?

I'm trying to face the feelings – without feeling the fireworks.

Learning to let go.

Learning to be hurt, yes – but through the pain, learning to turn to the Binder of Wounds, the Friend of the Brokenhearted, the Champion of the Crushed.

Using my will to battle my injured heart.

Remembering that Jesus bore wounds for me.  My precious Savior – hurt, disappointed, rejected, betrayed Jesus.  

He was wounded for me.

So, I'm taking His precious blood and crossing out the debts in my "red column" of wrongs.  Giving Him the books.  Thanking Him for getting rid of the books that keep track of MY wrongs against other people.  Asking Him to forgive me for the many ways that I hurt HIM – for all MY marks in the "red column."

Praising the Love that made it possible for my name to be entered into the only book that counts – the Book of Life.


Are you feeling hurt?  Angry?

Oh dear friends, don't let the enemy get rooted…

Attach yourself more tightly to The Vine.

They are like trees planted along a riverbank, with roots that reach deep into the water.
Their leaves stay green, and they never stop producing fruit.

"And then he added, 'It is what comes from inside that defiles you…'"  
(Mark 7:20, NLT)

"Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it." (Proverbs 4:23, NIV)


Is there any bitterness in your heart that God needs to uproot?


Linked today with:

Joan at SHARING HIS BEAUTY
Michelle at HEAR IT ON SUNDAY, USE IT ON MONDAY


BLOG = "Blessedly Leaning On God!"

"FAN THE FLAME" FRIDAY

Welcome to "Fan the Flame" Friday.

This is a weekly post that will be "short and sweet" (kinda like me...)

Just a word and a phrase, a sentence or a question...just a little something to "fan the flame" of your creativity!


Today's word: Heavenly Father

What comes to mind when you think about your Heavenly Father?

At this season in your life, which character trait of the Heavenly Father means the most to you - and why?

What is the one thing you want to say to your Heavenly Father today?


Let me know what you think!!


"So if you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good gifts to those who ask him." (Matthew 7:11, NLT)


***HAPPY FATHER'S DAY to all you dads out there!***


"This is why I remind you to fan into flames the spiritual gift God gave you…For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline." (2 Timothy 1:6-7)


BLOG = "Blessedly Leaning On God!"

MY GRANDPA'S JACKET

I love jackets. 

I have coats of all sizes and colors and fabrics and patterns.

Yes, I have a bunch.

You see, I have this weird thing about collecting certain things.  Like watches – I've got several of those.  And blankets – ooo, got a whole lot of those.  And flashlights – I love those, too.

It's almost like it doesn't matter how many I have of these items, or if I really need a new one – somehow I am just drawn to collect more.

So, I've amassed a nice, eclectic group of coats.  And it's a good thing, too. Finally, my insistent *pack rat gene* has paid off.  I can actually wear all of these jackets up here.  The weather is finally COLD enough…

But, among all my jackets, among all my favorites, there is one that stands out.

It's a rather dirty, yellowed suede jacket.  It's got this lamb-like fleece lining that is clumpy now.  The buttons are hanging by a thread (literally). And the hems at the sides are tied with tattered leather string.

I can't remember the last time I wore this jacket – or if I've ever worn it at all.

But it is a prized treasure.  With a place of honor in my closet…

Because this jacket belonged to my grandpa – Poppy T.


My mother's parents were just the absolute best.  For most of my life, I lived about four hours away from them.  But, some of my very fondest childhood memories happened either at their house, or on their visits to mine.

For a long time, Nana and Poppy T lived in Atascadero – a rural community close to San Luis Obispo.  They lived in a house on the top of a hill – a house that my grandfather built.  He was a carpenter by trade.

I had the BEST adventures up there!

It was in this house that my life-long passion for rocks was born!  Poppy T would polish and shape them on his rock machines.  I loved watching him work.  It was in this house that I learned many faith lessons by watching Poppy T do magic tricks – tricks with a spiritual twist to them.  It was in this house that I watched fireworks across the lake, developed an unnatural fear of black widow spiders, and played with toys that used to be my mom's. 

It was in this house that I learned that I was accepted and loved – dearly – just the way I was, just because I was alive!

After several years, my grandparents semi-retired to manage a tent/trailer campground in Morro Bay – on the coast.  Oh, the fun we had there!

And you know what?!  It never mattered how sandy or wet we got while out exploring the shoreline.  We were always welcomed into the house to show off the *treasures* we had collected.

And then, of course, there were those wonderful times when my grandparents would come down to visit us.  We'd go to Disneyland or Knott's Berry Farm, we'd go out to eat, we'd go on all sorts of adventures.  But, though those times were great fun, it wasn't what I looked forward to when my grandparents came into town.  

It was them.

The sheer joy of being with them.

You see, Poppy T had a wonderful sense of humor.  And he was a bit of a scamp!  I enjoyed the twinkle he always seemed to have in his eyes, and the smile that was always on his face.  He was kind, and gentle, and thoughtful. He was a dedicated husband to my grandma – who spent the last part of her life in a rest home.

But the thing I most remember about my Poppy T is that he loved the Lord. (For a while, he had been the lay preacher at the small chapel in Atascadero – which he also helped to build).

The last time I visited him, he was hardly there anymore – a victim of Alzheimer's disease.  But that day, I could tell that he recognized me. And I talked to him about Jesus.  As I stared at his gnarled carpenter's hands, my heart was deeply touched.  Because, you see, at the name of Jesus my grandpa, my dear Poppy T, smiled.

Deeply, knowingly, lovingly.

He knew me, and he knew his Savior.

Poppy T died in 2002, an old man at almost 97.

Well, his body died.

Because I know for a fact that my grandpa lives – and will live – on and on and on.

I have saved my grandpa's jacket because it reminds me of him.  But it also reminds me of his unshakeable faith.

I have saved my grandpa's jacket because somehow it reminds 
me of Jesus.

JESUS.

Who accepts and loves me – dearly – just the way I am, just because I’m alive!

A Poppy T Hug!

"Only be careful, and watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them slip from your heart as long as you live. Teach them to your children and to their children after them." (Deuteronomy 4:9, NIV)



Do you have any precious memories of your grandparents?


Linked today with:

Michelle at HEAR IT ON SUNDAY, USE IT ON MONDAY
Hazel at TELL ME A TRUE STORY
Darlene at TITUS 2SDAYS
Tracy at WINSOME WEDNESDAY
Charlotte at SPIRITUAL SUNDAYS


***A very (early) Happy Father's Day to all the wonderful dads out there in Blog Land!***


BLOG = "Blessedly Leaning On God!"

"FAN THE FLAME" FRIDAY

Welcome to "Fan the Flame" Friday.

This is a weekly post that will be "short and sweet" (kinda like me...)

Just a word and a phrase, a sentence or a question...just a little something to "fan the flame" of your creativity!


Today's word: wisdom

How would you define the word wisdom?

Do you think there's a difference between intelligence and wisdom?  If yes, what is it?

Is wisdom a gift or can it be learned?

What is one piece of wisdom you would like to pass on to someone else?


Let me know what you think!!


"And this is what he says to all humanity: 'The fear of the Lord is true wisdom; to forsake evil is real understanding.'"  (Job 28:28, NLT)

"The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom; all who follow his precepts have good understanding. To him belongs eternal praise."  
(Psalm 111:10, NIV)

"If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you."  (James 1:5, NIV)


"This is why I remind you to fan into flames the spiritual gift God gave you…For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline." (2 Timothy 1:6-7)


BLOG = "Blessedly Leaning On God!"

AGE SPOTS

OK, does anyone out there have these things??

You know, those lovely tannish-brown spots on my skin that seem to cover more and more territory each year –

(If you do, I feel your pain…)

I actually looked these things up on Wikipedia:

"…blemishes on the skin associated with aging and exposure to ultraviolet radiation from the sun."

Blemishes – no duh.

Their other names?

Liver spot.  (Yuck – add onions, I feel like crying…)

Senile freckle.  (Yes…senile freckle.  Like it forgot how it got on my face…and hands...and...)

I think they're gross and unsightly.  They are unwanted reminders of my Southern California *worship-the-sun lifestyle*, and the fact that I am getting OLDER.

I've thought about getting them removed.

But electrosurgery, laser treatment, or cryotherapy sounds painful and expen$$$ive…and painful.

Those dark-spot erasing creams?  Not sure if they're very effective or not – (I'm open to suggestions if one of you knows a good one).

So, I hate these things because they're like neon signs that flash out the truth – I. AM. NOT. YOUNG. ANYMORE.

But see, that's the real deal.

The age spots are irritating – the age is disturbing.

Disturbing because the years march on relentlessly, out of my control, and always leading inexorably toward that final curtain.

I don't like getting older.

I've had so many conversations with my mom lately about getting older, about approaching the end.

And even with faith, even with a close walk with the Lord, the Valley of the Shadow of Death is daunting, scary, threatening.

Last night we were talking about my dad, whose mind is drifting away so rapidly now.  Mom told me how it's hard for her to see – both for his sake, and as a reminder that she, too, is getting older.

And out of the blue, I said this to her:

"Mom, don't think for a second that the Lord who has walked with you all these years will let go of you now.  He's holding on to your hand tighter than ever before.  Old age is just a chance to feel Him closer."

We both stopped silent.

You see, I didn't really think those things – I just said them.  (The Holy Spirit has a way of doing that, you know…)

And, the more I thought about it, the more I knew it to be true.

For me, too.

Growing older is a privilege in so many ways.  My walk has indeed grown closer as I've added candles to my birthday cake.  My faith has grown deeper, my sense of God's Presence more tangible, my love for His Word stronger.


I ask myself these questions…

Would I feel Him as surely if I was younger?

Would the walk with Him be as sweet if I could walk without pain?

Would remembering His faithfulness be as powerful if my memory wasn't so flaky sometimes?

Would reading His Word be as wonderful if I didn't have to do it with glasses?

Would hearing His voice be as tangible if my hearing was not growing weaker?

Would my heart not soar as high if I wasn't slowing down?


I don't think so.

Because it is in the aging that I am learning new depths of His character, and about what it means to grow on the inside, while the outside just grows old.

Sagging flesh is weak, but He is making my spirit strong.

I'm going to share these thoughts with my mom today.  And I'm pretty sure she'll understand.  (She will, for sure).  She knows that there is something to be said for the gray hair of wisdom that comes with age (even if you dye it like I do!!).

She will know that the sure hand of the Lord grips tighter with every year that passes.

She will know, because her testimony speaks to me.

A woman of grace and faith and love and humility.

An older woman who knows how to age with beauty.


Maybe that's what those old age spots truly are – beauty spots.

Spots that testify to the mileage of our journeys.  Spots that testify of our flawed flesh but saved souls.  


Spots that testify to years spent with the SON.

Hands to work...Heart to God

"Gray hair is a crown of glory; it is gained by living a godly life." 
(Proverbs 16:31)


What is God teaching you in the process of growing older?

Linked today with:

Joan at SHARING HIS BEAUTY
Hazel at TELL ME A TRUE STORY
Darlene at TITUS 2SDAY
Tracy at WINSOME WEDNESDAY
Charlotte at SPIRITUAL SUNDAYS


(For a wonderful story about *spots* and flaws, you might enjoy Max Lucado's book, YOU ARE SPECIAL)

BLOG = "Blessedly Leaning On God!"

"FAN THE FLAME" FRIDAY

Welcome to "Fan the Flame" Friday.

This is a weekly post that will be "short and sweet" (kinda like me...)

Just a word and a phrase, a sentence or a question...just a little something to "fan the flame" of your creativity!


Today's word: knowing

What is the difference between knowing about God and knowing God?

How does knowing God change our perspective on things?

What are some obstacles to knowing God in your life?


Let me know what you think!!


"Yes, everything else is worthless when compared with the infinite value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord.  For his sake I have discarded everything else, counting it all as garbage, so that I could gain Christ and become one with him."  (Philippians 3:8-9)


"This is why I remind you to fan into flames the spiritual gift God gave you…For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline." (2 Timothy 1:6-7)


BLOG = "Blessedly Leaning On God!"

"THE WHY CHILD"

"The Why Child."

That could have been my nickname growing up.

(Well, at least one I would have liked.  We won't discuss "Spoke" or "Railroad Mouth")

I was an intensely curious child.  I wanted to know the "why" about everything.  I know most kids are that way.  But evidently I was more persistent in my questions.  And they were deep questions.

My pondering started early!

For instance, maybe most kids would ask something like, "Why is the sky blue?"

My question might be more like, "Why can't I touch the sky if I can see it?"

And, I would add follow-up questions:

"How far away is the moon?"  ("How" questions are close cousins of "why" questions, by the way).

"Why can't I look at the sun?"

"Why isn't it light all the time?"

"Where does the wind come from?"  ("Where" questions are also on the family tree, by the way).

God bless her, my mom would try to answer my incessant questioning. But, more often than not, I heard this:

"Ask your father when he comes home!"


So, curious and inquisitive - yes I was.

Not entirely bad qualities.

But, as I grew older, my questions started to overflow into my faith.

"Why" questions became problematic sometimes as I tangled with the bigger issues:

"Why does God allow bad things to happen?"

"Why doesn't everybody go to heaven?"

"Why does God feel hidden and silent sometimes?"

I'm not entirely sure that my "why" questions reflected doubt.  I may have walked some miles off the narrow way in my life, but I never turned my back on my faith.

But I wrestled.  I struggled.

I always identified with Job.  I understood his questioning.  His heart-wrenching "why," hurled toward the heavens, could have come from my lips.

And you want to know the truth?

I always kinda thought that God's response was harsh and insensitive.  Maybe even (dare I say it?)...sarcastic?  arrogant?

Job had suffered terribly.  He was still suffering...terribly.  I think his questions were legitimate, understandable - they were human.

And God didn't (wouldn't) answer even one "why" question???

To me, that seemed almost (dare I say it?)...cruel.

Yup.

So, "why" has been my lifelong companion.

But today, something in one of my devotions got me thinking, questioning...

(I know - you caught the irony, right?!)

This devotional book has a question to ponder at the end of the reading for the day (wonder why I picked it?!).

Here was the question for today:

"What are some of the conversations you want to have with Jesus in eternity?"

Huh.

Well, let me tell you, back in the day I would have arrived at those pearly gates with a laundry list of questions.  I would have pushed for a *consultation* with the Lord.

"Um, excuse me, Peter.  I'm happy to be here, but I'd like to schedule an appointment with Jesus.  I have questions!!"

But when I read that question in my devotions today, it stopped me.

Why?  (LOL)

Because I realized that I am not so burdened by my questions anymore.

They're still there, yes.  But they are far less important than they used to be.  And my quest for answers is far less urgent and compelling.

What happened to them, I wondered today...

Lo and behold, my conclusion was this:

MY FAITH HAS GROWN!

I still have questions, sure, but now I can release them easier.  They don't have a stranglehold on me.  They don't consume me like they used to.

Why?  (LOL again)

Because they aren't as important to me as my relationship to 
The Answer.

I have come to know Jesus in a far more personal way.

He is my God - but He is also my Friend.

You know, I think my arrival at the pearly gates is going to be different now. My hands will be empty - no laundry list of questions.  No demands, no agenda.

Only these words:

"Peter, where's Jesus?"

I don't really want answers.  I just want to see His face.


Ah...now I realize something about Job that has always puzzled me.

His response to God's response.

Job wasn't hurt or disappointed or frustrated or angry.  He didn't spit out a snappy retort.

"Yeah, great, God.  I know what You've done.  But I want to know why?"

Nope.

That was never uttered.

No, instead, Job was humbled in his heart.

For him, God had grown bigger and more personal at the same time.

Job was completely satisfied to give up intellectual knowledge for intimate relationship.

He traded mind contentment (answered questions) for heart communion (fulfilled soul).

And, in many ways, I have too.

I realized that today...and it made me happy.

My "why" child has matured into a "Who" person.

The Who.

The Answer.

My Friend.


I get it now, Job.

I get it now, Lord.

I get it.

Who kept the sea inside its boundaries as it burst from the womb...
For I locked it behind barred gates,
limiting its shores.
I said, "This far and not farther you will come.
Here your proud waves must stop!"

Job responds to God:

"You asked, 'Who is this that questions my wisdom with such ignorance?'  It is I—and I was talking about things I knew nothing about, things far too wonderful for me...

I had only heard about you before, but now I have seen you with my own eyes."  (Job 42:3, 5)


Are you still asking the questions, or are you seeking The Answer?


Linked today with:

Joan at SHARING HIS BEAUTY
Michelle at HEAR IT ON SUNDAY, USE IT ON MONDAY
Tracy at WINSOME WEDNESDAY
Charlotte at SPIRITUAL SUNDAYS


BLOG = "Blessedly Leaning On God!"

"FAN THE FLAME" FRIDAY

Welcome to "Fan the Flame" Friday.

This is a weekly post that will be "short and sweet" (kinda like me...)

Just a word and a phrase, a sentence or a question...just a little something to "fan the flame" of your creativity!


Today's word: remember

A trip down Memory Lane today:

What is the best thing you remember from your childhood?

Is there anyone special you remember on Memorial Day?

Why is it so important to remember what God has done for us in the past?


Let me know what you think!!


"I will remember my song in the night;
I will meditate with my heart,
And my spirit ponders...

I shall remember the deeds of the LORD;
Surely I will remember Your wonders of old.

I will meditate on all Your work
And muse on Your deeds.

Your way, O God, is holy;
What god is great like our God?

You are the God who works wonders..."

(Psalm 77:6, 11-14, NASB)


"This is why I remind you to fan into flames the spiritual gift God gave you…For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline." (2 Timothy 1:6-7)


BLOG = "Blessedly Leaning On God!"

MY ACHY BREAKY HEART

Remember that silly song by Billy Ray Cyrus?  (Bet you're going to be annoyingly humming it in your head all day now…)

OK, so now I want you to forget that silly song.

Let's talk about aching, breaking hearts.  I know what that feels like.  And I know you do, too.

Sometimes life just hurts – a lot.

And our tender hearts feel like they are breaking into a million pieces.

I'm feeling this way right now.  Oh, so weighed down by the travails and troubles of living.

No pity party – just a heavy dose of reality lately.

My *daughter heart* is aching.  It's been really hard watching my parents in their downhill slide.  Dad is sliding so much faster than Mom.  And it hurts.  It just really hurts.

I am painfully realizing that there's still a little girl inside of me that doesn't want to grow up.  I don't want to be the *top dog*.  I don’t want to "parent" my parents.  It's hard…and it hurts.

I ache to see my parents ache.  To see their bodies grow painful, to watch their minds grow feeble and their steps grow slow.

I hurt for the unresolved issues that haunt me from my childhood.  A good childhood, yes.  But none of us grows up unscathed.

I must forgive my parents for who they weren't, and for who they can't be now. Just as I need to be forgiven for the many things I did to bring heartache to their lives – and the many failings I have had as a mother.

It is time to accept what is…

But, the reality of now is hard…and it hurts.

My *mother heart* is breaking.  It's been really hard learning to let go. To watch my sons as they sometimes struggle to live life.   This is a tough season in each of their lives right now.  Identity-seeking, future-planning, relationship-sorting.

I miss happy faces – and simple problems with simple solutions.

Sometimes I long for the days of scraped knees and spelling tests.  For the "little" anxieties of life – the ones that I had some control over.

Now I watch from the sidelines in many ways.

And when either of them aches, my heart breaks.

I've heard it said, "A mother is only as happy as her saddest child."

Oh yes.

My *me heart* is aching, breaking too.  This past year brought many changes to my life.  Leaving a place that I had known for almost 29 years was difficult, to say the least.

Friendships changed, routines got altered, security took a big hit.

Life lessons – and faith lessons – have been learned.

But it’s been hard…and it hurts.


I've been having terrible insomnia lately.  The last two nights have been perfect examples:

Night #1 – asleep at 11:30, up at 1:30 – awake until 4:30.
Night #2 – asleep at 3:00, up at 6:00 – for good.

I'm so tired of staring at the ceiling in a darkened room.  I'm so weary of the quiet that is too quiet.  The silence of being alone, and feeling like everyone in the world is asleep but me.

The more I try to relax, the more tense I get about relaxing.

And then, the thoughts come.  The ruinous ruminations.  The crushing cares.  The aching, the breaking.

Often, all I can muster in the wee hours of the night is a gut-wrenching cry:

"Lord, I hurt!"

Sometimes I wonder – where is God in all of this?

Does He hear?

Oh yes, I know He does.

Does He care?

More than I’ll ever know.


You see, He has a Son's aching heart.  He has a Father's breaking heart.

He has a heart that hurts like mine.

For He remembers what He created.  He misses the happy faces of Eden.  He longs for the restoration of His perfect world.

He has a heart – much bigger than mine.  Filled with an unfathomable love that I doubt I'll ever fully understand.

Yes, He provided the ultimate cure for the aching, breaking heart.  (Thank goodness for that!)  But hearts are still broken while we live out our lives.

And sometimes, my achy breaky heart wonders:

God, where are You in all of this?

Let me tell you – HE. IS. RIGHT. HERE.

Right next to me, through it all.

I honestly don't know how I could live a day of my life without the sure knowledge of His unchanging character and His constant Presence.


Life is hard…and it hurts.

But God is bigger.

I am the light of the world.
Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness.

"And may you have the power to understand, as all God's people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is.

May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully.

Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God.

Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think."  

(Ephesians 3:18-20)



What is breaking your heart right now?  What is causing you heartache?  How do you need to feel God's love?


Linked today with:

Joan at SHARING HIS BEAUTY
Michelle at HEAR IT ON SUNDAY, USE IT ON MONDAY
Tracy at WINSOME WEDNESDAY
Charlotte at SPIRITUAL SUNDAYS


BLOG = "Blessedly Leaning On God!"

"FAN THE FLAME" FRIDAY - Humble

Welcome to "Fan the Flame" Friday.

This is a weekly post that will be "short and sweet" (kinda like me...)

Just a word and a phrase, a sentence or a question...just a little something to "fan the flame" of your creativity!


Today's word: humble

What do you think it means to be humble?

What is the difference between being humble and having low self-esteem?

In what area of your life is it hard to be humble?

Why is it impossible to be a disciple of God without being humble?


Let me know what you think!!


"But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says: "God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble."  (James 4:6, NLT)

"For those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted."  (Matthew 23:12, NIV)

"So humble yourselves under the mighty power of God, and at the right time he will lift you up in honor."  (1 Peter 5:6, NLT)


"This is why I remind you to fan into flames the spiritual gift God gave you…For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline." (2 Timothy 1:6-7)


BLOG = "Blessedly Leaning On God!"

SPRING IS IN THE AIR?

Spring is in the air...

…and on the ground.

I am enjoying watching Spring unfold up here in the mountains.

I've welcomed some of my favorite creatures back – the playful chipmunks and squirrels, the friendly deer, the chirping birds…

"The Hub" was delighted to see his first snake of the season – a huge gopher snake – crossing the road.  Remember, he is The Great Reptile Wrangler.  And though he didn't catch this one, his tongs are ready, and his tongue is wagging at the prospect.

I prefer the cute creatures.

But, of course, there are the "other" guys.

This Spring we have been inundated with creepy, crawly things that I call *snizards*.  Snizards are these girthy lizards that actually look like snakes with arms and legs.  They are gross.

Unless you're a Kimodo Dragon – then you might think they were adorable babies.

As a rule, lizards don't bother me much.  I'm much more unnerved by jumping things like frogs.  (Chalk that up to a traumatic incident when I was a child – and had to walk across a dry creek bed while billions of little frogs jumped up all over my legs and feet).

These snizards are more than mere lizards.

They are HUGE.  Even "The Hub" admits it.  (Steroids in the off season?) And, they're pretty fearless.  They don't run away like the little guys do.  And they're kinda slimy too.  But, they’re not salamanders – (which are amphibians – and frogs are amphibians – so you understand my abhorrence of slimy things).

I'd do some research on them, and try to figure out what they are – but that would require me looking at endless pictures of lizards on my laptop – and that might be traumatic.

Oh, did I mention?  

These guys are also pretty cocky.  I see them outside all the time, basking in the sun on top of a boulder, doing their little "push-ups."  It's like my backyard has turned into a reptilian Muscle Beach.

This is not my idea of Spring.

I picture Easter bonnets, and flowers in bloom, and pretty things.  Cute mammals and birds – fur and feathers – no scales.

But, here is the truth of the season.

EVERYBODY comes out of hiding.

The birds, and deer, the chipmunks and squirrels – and the snakes and snizards.  The cute and cuddly – and the creepy.

It got me thinking.

We talk about the seasons of life.  We talk about spiritual *seasons*, too. Seasons of winter when we are in a stark and lonely place in our souls.  Or summer, when the warm blessings of God and His bright sun seems to shine on everything.  Or maybe even autumn, when we are in a season of waiting, perhaps.  

But, springtime…well, I always think of spiritual Spring as a time of new beginnings.  Of the excitement of new growth, and new opportunities, new adventures, and new goals.  A time to have sleeping dreams come alive.

I think of it as a happy time.

However, as I contemplate the snizards, I think of something else…

A season of spiritual rebirth might not be all flowers and sunshine.

It might not be all about fur and feathers.

It might involve some scales.

In fact, it might involve God tearing some scales off of my crusty and previously-hibernating self.

I am reminded of my favorite scene from The Voyage of the Dawn Treader, by C.S. Lewis.  A rather unpleasant and boorish boy named Eustace finds himself in a bind.  In his selfishness, he has turned into a dragon.  But, finding himself in agonizing pain, he is desperate to shed his "dragonness."

He scratches and claws himself, frantically trying to shed his scales like a snake skin.  He tries it three times, to no avail.  He begins to fear that he will never be rid of the scales.

Finally, Aslan (the great lion who is a figure of Jesus) tells him:

"You will have to let me undress you."

Eustace tells the story:

"I was so afraid of his claws, I can tell you, but I was pretty nearly desperate now. So I just lay flat down on my back and let him do it.  The very first tear he made was so deep that I thought it had gone right into my heart.  And when he began pulling the skin off, it hurt worse than anything I’ve ever felt. The only thing that made me able to bear it was just the pleasure of feeling the stuff peel off."  


This is what I'm thinking re-birth is like sometimes.

Yes, sometimes it happens like a seedling bursting through the dirt into bloom.  Sometimes it's like the fulfilling work of nest-building.

Sometimes, it's joyful and playful.

Sometimes it's pretty.

But sometimes it's not.

Because sometimes I arrive at a Spring *season* in my life and I am not furry or feathery. Sometimes I am not cute and cuddly.

Sometimes I am downright crusty, scaly, and perhaps a bit creepy.

I'm not a beautiful budding flower – I am a snizard.

And that is when God gets to work.

You see, I have come to understand that ALL things that arrive in a Spring *season* in my faith journey are necessary.  They are part of the plan.  

The "oooh" and the "aaah" – AND the "ouch."

This Spring I am feeling a bit snizardly, if I'm honest.  And I feel like I am cold and needing to bask in some SONlight.  (Truth be told, I am also a bit "girthy" too – just sayin'…)

Lord, I need You.

Please help me re-awaken to the beauty of this season.  Help me be re-born into something vibrant and alive.  Bring joy to my soul again.  Revive the spiritual sloth of my hibernating.  

Do what You have to do…

…for I have scales.

"Hey, you talkin' to me?"

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!"  (2 Corinthians 5:17, NIV)

Do you have some *scales* that need to come off this Spring?

Linked today with:

Joan at SHARING HIS BEAUTY
Michelle at HEAR IT ON SUNDAY, USE IT ON MONDAY
Tracy at WINSOME WEDNESDAY
Charlotte at SPIRITUAL SUNDAYS

(Photo by Walter Siegmund, copied from Wikipedia, under the GNU Free Documentation License)

BLOG = "Blessedly Leaning On God!"