UPROOTING WEEDS OF BITTERNESS

It's been a tough week.

So, I hope you'll understand today's repost of something I wrote three years ago.

It's timely for me to revisit these thoughts, and to try to realign my feelings with what I know is Truth.

May God speak to us all again.



Ever been disappointed, rejected, betrayed?

I'm thinking if you've lived long enough, the answer to that question is yes.

People have a way of hurting other people.

Sometimes it's intentional, often it's not.

Mostly it doesn't matter.  

Hurt still hurts…a lot.

And though hurt often leads to sad, sometimes it leads to MAD!

If I'm honest, I find that most of the time I get angry, it's really because I've gotten hurt.

Why is that, I wonder?  

I think it has something to do with vulnerability – about how being vulnerable makes us feel small – victimized, dismissed, invalidated, diminished.  

And we are, perhaps, never more vulnerable than when we've been hurt.

That's understandable.

But woe to the angry one!

Because anger is like a weed in our hearts – a weed that can quickly grow roots of bitterness.

And bitter roots are dangerous, choking things – they are deadly.


I've been thinking about this lately.

Been going through some new hurts – new hurts that are also stirring up some old hurts.

I am dismayed at how easily I have become an emotional bookkeeper.

Yup, I'm a good little accountant – keeping tally of perceived wrongs.

Keeping careful track of all the hurts inflicted on me.  Recording the wounds, checking off the snubs and slights, adding up the words and the attitudes and the actions.

Marking them all down in red – until, before I know it...

I'm seeing RED!

Ugly admission, but true.


The enemy is quite happy about this. 

After all, he's pleased when people visit *H & R Beelzebub*.

"Bring those receipts to me.  Yes indeed.  Let's add things up here.  Sure enough, people have wronged you.  You've been shortchanged.  People OWE you…"

The fine print?  "Those shallow, selfish, evil people.  You're better than they are.  You should hate them…"

His math?  

Hurt + Anger = Bitterness.

Oh, what a battle it is when you feel *entitled* to your feelings.

Now, I'm not one to dismiss those feelings.

Feelings are real.  

But they don't need to rule.

That's the secret, and that's the challenge.

Learning how to face the feelings, feel them, and then to let them go.

But, it's the only thing to do.

Because once those roots of bitterness begin to grow, they grow deep.

They cut a wide path of destruction.  

They kill good plants, and thwart any growth of new fruit.

Like I said – deadly.

It's why God warns us so much about anger.  

He knows it's a seed planted…

"And 'don't sin by letting anger control you.'  Don't let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a foothold to the devil." (Ephesians 4:26-27, NLT)

"Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires." (James 1:20, NLT)


So, is anger wrong?

No, Jesus Himself got angry.  

But God warns us against being angry…and sinning.

It's not the feeling that causes the problem.  

It's the underlying reasons for the anger, and the indulging of anger that leads to problems.

It is *feeling the feeling* and letting it fester.

Ruminating upon it.

Feeding the flames.

Letting it lead us to bitterness.

Forgiveness?

No room for that in a bitter and resentful heart.

And God calls us to something bigger – something behind the act of forgiveness.

He calls us to love.

And love requires poor bookkeeping:

"It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs." (1 Corinthians 13:5, NIV)


God calls us to forgive the debts AND the debtors...

...the debtors AND the debts.

Sigh.

I am facing a battle inside myself lately.  

Knowing that the enemy is trying to inflame my hurts.

Trying to stimulate my anger.  

Trying to make it feel righteous. 

He's trying to water the roots…

Me?

I'm trying to face the feelings – without feeling the fireworks.

Praying to let go.

Allowing myself to feel the hurt, yes – but through the pain, learning to turn to the Binder of Wounds, the Friend of the Brokenhearted, the Champion of the Crushed.

Using my will to battle my injured heart, even though I am sorely tempted to give in to bitterness.

Remembering that Jesus bore wounds for me.  

My precious Savior – hurt, disappointed, rejected, betrayed Jesus.  

He was wounded for me.


So, I'm taking His precious blood and crossing out the debts in my *red column* of wrongs.

Giving Him the books.  

Thanking Him for getting rid of the books that keep track of MY wrongs against other people.

Asking Him to forgive me for the many ways that I hurt HIM – for all MY marks in the *red column*.

Praising the Love that made it possible for my name to be entered into the only book that counts – the Book of Life.


Are you feeling disappointed, rejected, betrayed?

Has someone hurt you?  

Are you reacting in anger?

Do you feel choked by the weedy threat of bitterness?


Oh dear friends, don't let the enemy get rooted…

Attach yourself more tightly to The Vine.




Is there any bitterness in your heart that God needs to uproot?

A bitter root
can destroy
the mightiest tree. 

"'But the things that come out of a person's mouth come from the heart, and these defile them.'" (Matthew 15:18, NIV)

"The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil…It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one's life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell." 
(James 3:6, NIV)

"A worthless man plots evil, and his speech is like a scorching fire." 
(Proverbs 16:27, ESV)

"'The good man brings out of his good treasure what is good; and the evil man brings out of his evil treasure what is evil.  But I tell you that every careless word that people speak, they shall give an accounting for it in the day of judgment.  For by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.'" (Matthew 12:35-37, NASB)

"'It is written:  'As surely as I live,' says the Lord, 'every knee will bow before me; every tongue will acknowledge God.'  So then, each of us will give an account of ourselves to God.  Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another.  Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in the way of a brother or sister.'" (Romans 14:11-13, NIV)

"Peace has been stripped away…I cry out, 'My splendor is gone!  Everything I had hoped for from the LORD is lost!'  The thought of my suffering and homelessness is bitter beyond words.  I will never forget this awful time, as I grieve over my loss.  Yet I still dare to hope when I remember this: The faithful love of the LORD never ends!  His mercies never cease.  Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each morning." 
(Lamentations 3:17-23, NLT)

"Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think about such things." (Philippians 4:8, NIV)

"Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it." (Proverbs 4:23, NIV)



Linked with:

MONDAY'S MUSINGS, MONDAYS AT SOUL SURVIVAL, LIFE GIVING LINKUP, GOOD MORNING MONDAYS, MONDAY OF MANY BLESSINGS, THANK GOODNESS IT'S MONDAY, THE ART OF HOMEMAKING MONDAYS, MUSING MONDAYS, MODEST MONDAY, MOTIVATION MONDAY, INSPIRE ME MONDAY, MOM-TO-MOM MONDAYS, MOMENTS OF HOPE, TELL ME A TRUE STORY, UNITE LINKUP, TITUS 2 TUESDAY, TELL IT TO ME TUESDAYS, TESTIMONY TUESDAY, TUESDAY TALK, RA RA LINKUP, TEACHING WHAT IS GOOD, WONDERFUL WEDNESDAY, TELL HIS STORY, WHOLEHEARTED WEDNESDAY, A LITTLE R & R WEDNESDAYS, WORD FILLED WEDNESDAY, THREE WORD WEDNESDAY, COFFEE FOR YOUR HEART, COFFEE & CONVERSATION, WOMEN WITH INTENTION, SITTING AMONG FRIENDS, GRACE MOMENTS, GROWING IN GRACE, THANKFUL THURSDAYS, LIVE FREE THURSDAY, THURSDAY FAVORITE THINGS, PARTY AT MY PLACE, SHINE BLOG HOP, THOUGHT-PROVOKING THURSDAY, FROM HOUSE TO HOME, GRACE AT HOME, THOUGHTFUL THURSDAYS, LITTLE THINGS THURSDAY, COZY READING SPOT, NO RULES WEEKEND BLOG PARTY, 100 HAPPY DAYS, FUNTASTIC FRIDAY, BLOGGER SPOTLIGHT PARTY, FRIENDSHIP FRIDAY, EVERYDAY TESTIMONY, FAITH FILLED FRIDAY, SPIRITUAL SUNDAYS, FAITH 'N FRIENDS, GRACE & TRUTH, DANCE WITH JESUS, FAMILY, FRIENDSHIP & FAITH, REWIND FRIDAY, MAKE MY SATURDAY SWEET, TGI SATURDAYS, WEEKEND WIND DOWN PARTY, LET US GROW, WORD OF GOD SPEAK, SMALL VICTORIES SUNDAY, GIVE ME GRACE, SOCIAL BUTTERFLY SUNDAY



BLOG = "Blessedly Leaning On God!"

PET PEEVES

Irritation.

Defined as this: the state of feeling impatient, annoyed, or angry.

Oh yes.

Ever just feel downright irritated at life…and people?

Just *bugged to death* by frustrations and aggravations?

Yeah, me too.

So, just for fun I thought I'd list some of my pet peeves, some of the things that irritate me the most:


1) Stickers on something

You know, the stickers that won't come off.

Oh sure, they fool you into thinking that they're going to come right off.  They do this by letting you easily pry up one little corner.  You start peeling, ever-so-slowly, only to end up pulling the top layer off, leaving a paper trail of the worst kind.

Sure, then you try using your fingernails.

That only succeeds in getting little bits of paper and adhesive stuck under your nails.

The next step is using a little soap and water (which, incidentally, cannot be used on a book cover, which leads to more aggravation).

Sometimes you can be successful with removing the paper, leaving only a gluey, sticky residue.

At this point I usually try the *sticky loves sticky* method of removal.  This entails rolling up a piece of tape and repeatedly pressing it against the residue. I have found that doing this slowly, applying pressure and then peeling the tape back, yields better results than quick jabs.

If none of these methods work, I usually resort to using Goo Gone – a pleasant orange-smelling oil that usually does the trick.  Of course, then you have to clean up the Goo Gone, another pet peeve.


2) Perforations on bills

OK, so you get the bills that have no perforation to aid in easily removing the payment stub they expect you to send in with your payment.  This is irritating enough, as you must dig out the scissors and do the work yourself.

As if paying the bill wasn't irritating enough.

Or, and this arguably bugs me even more, the perforation does NOT match up with the fold.  Most often the difference is about a millionth of an inch.  But that is enough to make a real mess.

I like a clean edge.

And with this perforation/fold disparity, it becomes next to impossible.

I've tried to do the fold one way, fold another way method of making the perforation more "tearable" – (which is a terrible waste of time).

Even so, most of the time I end up with a ragged edge…

…which I trim with scissors.


3) Tamper-proof seals on containers

You know the ones.

The ones that you have to fiddle with to even try to find a starting point to peel – (without tearing off a fingernail in the process).  Of course, if this is successful, you never, ever get the whole thing off in one piece.

There have been times when I've gotten so frustrated that I just pierced the top with a sharp object – (probably the scissors that I have just used on my bills).  Of course, then you have to fish the little flap out.

Don't get me started on the pinch-and-twist caps.

Or the cotton inside.


4) Exploding things 

Let me qualify this.

"The Hub" and I live in the mountains at 6300 feet elevation.

So, whenever we buy groceries *down-the-hill* and trek them back up the hill, there's a certain amount of pressure that builds up inside the containers.

Evidently, things expand above sea level.

Suffice it to say that on more than one occasion I have been baptized with yogurt.

Or splattered with soup.

Or celebrated with potato chip confetti.

(To be fair, though, the potato chip thing could be a result of sealed margins that don't separate easily – ie, potato chips, crackers, cereal – another pet peeve of mine – grrr…)


5) Slow drivers in the fast lane

No need for a lot of explanation here.  I'll make it simple…

MOVE. OVER.


6) Bike riders who don't obey the rules

Maybe I'm just a bit bitter about bikes in general after my fall a couple of weeks ago?!

But when I go visit my family, down in the *city*, bike riders are often the worst rule-breakers around!

They don't stop at stop signs, they don't signal their intentions, they cut in front of you, they zip around in their spandex like the road belongs to them.

Not all bike riders are like this.

So I'm just peeved at the offenders.


7) People who cut into line

I. CANNOT. STAND. THIS.

The only times I can remember almost getting into a literal fist fight is when people have cut in line.  In front of my kids.  Especially at amusement parks.

'Nuff said.


8) Impolite texting behavior

Two things:

One, leaving a texting conversation in the middle of the conversation.

So, you're in the middle of a conversation and all of a sudden the person disappears.  And maybe you don't hear a reply text until two hours later. Which leaves me with the whole paranoia thought that I might have said something to offend them?

Like LOL??

Two, people who text you a question and then when you start to fashion a reply, you see the little dots signifying that they're writing you another text.

Honestly, give me time to reply!!

Or, the worst is a combination of the two – they text a question and then disappear from the conversation.

Know what I mean?

I just think that it is so


9) Bending book covers or dog-earing pages

Books are hallowed to me.

I can maybe forgive you mishandling your books, but don't mess with mine!

I almost lost a friendship when I loaned a paperback to a friend, which was returned looking like it had been run over by a truck.  I asked them to buy me a new book.

Feud ensued.


10) People who can't spell my name

Even when I spell it for them.

I'm not going to name names (*$’s), but I have told them my name and spelled it, and they still get it wrong.

Is it that old-fashioned?

Or is it that we live in a culture where people spell names so weird that we don't know what to do?

I've seen Sheran, Sharron, Cheran, Sherin, Shannon – once I got frustrated and told them my name was Cindy – (which they spelled Cyndi).  I'm tempted to tell them my name is "X"…

Ex, Exx, Ecks???


These are just a few of my pet peeves.

Life is full of exasperation – situations and people that endlessly irritate, frustrate, and aggravate us.

But how we react to it is up to us.

We can let the enemy distract us, tempting us into a complaining, negative attitude, steering us into anger and bitterness.

Or we can let the Lord teach us about longsuffering.


Many people think that longsuffering means "suffering long."

But the word longsuffering in the Bible is the Greek word "makrothymía" – and comes from the two words "makrós" meaning "long," and "thymos" meaning "passion, anger."  It can properly be translated "long-passion" – i.e. waiting sufficient time before expressing anger.

To be longsuffering is to have self-restraint.  To be longsuffering means not immediately retaliating or punishing.  

God is the source of longsuffering because it is part of His character.

He is patient with sinners, patient with our failings, patient with our weaknesses.

And when we become His followers, we must follow His example.

How might our lives be affected if longsuffering was exhibited in our attitudes, our words, our actions?

How might our relationships change – with family, friends, at home, at work, at church?

Our human self-nature can be so easily peeved, so very short-fused.

We are quick to get irritated, frustrated, aggravated.

So very quick to strike out with unkind words and unforgiving attitudes.

But, when we stop and think about how longsuffering God is with us – well, do we really have any right to be any less longsuffering with others?

No, friends, we do not.


There are always going to be things that really bug me – my pet peeves will always test my patience and drive me to distraction.

But with the help of the Holy Spirit, I'm going to try to look at them differently.

Not as interruptions and disruptions, but as learning moments.

Moments when I can step into the character of God Himself…



What's one of your pet peeves?

Easy peasy?

Yeah, right...

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience (makrothymía), kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control…" 
(Galatians 5:22-23, ESV)

"And the LORD passed by before him, and proclaimed, 'The LORD, The LORD God, merciful and gracious, longsuffering, and abundant in goodness and truth, keeping mercy for thousands, forgiving iniquity and transgression and sin…'" (Exodus 34:6-7, KJV)

"The LORD is longsuffering, and of great mercy, forgiving iniquity and transgression…" (Numbers 14:18, KJV)

"But thou, O Lord, art a God full of compassion, and gracious, longsuffering, and plenteous in mercy and truth." (Psalm 86:15, KJV)

"Don't you see how wonderfully kind, tolerant, and patient God is with you? Does this mean nothing to you?  Can't you see that his kindness is intended to turn you from your sin?" (Romans 2:4, NLT)

"And account that the longsuffering of our Lord is salvation…" 
(2 Peter 3:15, KJV)

"The Lord is not slow to fulfill His promise as some understand slowness, but is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance." (2 Peter 3:9, Berean Study Bible)

"…for this reason I found mercy, so that in me as the foremost, Jesus Christ might demonstrate His perfect patience as an example for those who would believe in Him for eternal life." (1 Timothy 1:16, NASB)

"Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience." 
(Colossians 3:12, NIV)

"May you be strengthened with all power, according to his glorious might, for all endurance and patience with joy…" (Colossians 1:11, ESV) 

"We prove ourselves by our purity, our understanding, our patience, our kindness, by the Holy Spirit within us, and by our sincere love." 
(2 Corinthians 6:6, NLT)

"Always be humble and gentle.  Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other's faults because of your love." (Ephesians 4:2, NLT)

"And we urge you, brothers and sisters, warn those who are idle and disruptive, encourage the disheartened, help the weak, be patient with everyone." (1 Thessalonians 5:14, NIV)




Linked with:

SHARING HIS BEAUTY, SMALL WONDER, MONDAY'S MUSINGS, MONDAYS AT SOUL SURVIVAL, LIFE GIVING LINKUP, GOOD MORNING MONDAYS, MONDAY OF MANY BLESSINGS, THANK GOODNESS IT'S MONDAY, THE ART OF HOMEMAKING MONDAYS, MAKING YOUR HOME SING MONDAY, MUSING MONDAYS, MODEST MONDAY, MOTIVATION MONDAY, INSPIRE ME MONDAY, LIVING PROVERBS, US, COFFEE & JESUS, MOM-TO-MOM MONDAYS, TELL ME A TRUE STORY, UNITE LINKUP, TITUS 2 TUESDAY, WONDERFUL WEDNESDAY, TELL IT TO ME TUESDAYS, TESTIMONY TUESDAY, TUESDAY TALK, RA RA LINKUP, TEACHING WHAT IS GOOD, INTENTIONAL TUESDAY, THE HOMEMAKING PARTY, TELL HIS STORY, WISE WOMAN, WHOLEHEARTED WEDNESDAY,  A LITTLE R & R WEDNESDAYS, WORD FILLED WEDNESDAY, THREE WORD WEDNESDAY, COFFEE FOR YOUR HEART, COFFEE & CONVERSATION, WOMEN WITH INTENTION, WAITING ON WEDNESDAY, SITTING AMONG FRIENDS, WEDDED WEDNESDAY, GROWING IN GRACE, WINSOME WEDNESDAY, GRACE MOMENTS, THANKFUL THURSDAYS, LIVE FREE THURSDAY, PARTY AT MY PLACE, THURSDAY FAVORITE THINGS, SHINE BLOG HOP, THOUGHT-PROVOKING THURSDAY, FROM HOUSE TO HOME, GRACE AT HOME, THOUGHTFUL THURSDAYS, LITTLE THINGS THURSDAY, COZY READING SPOT, NO RULES WEEKEND BLOG PARTY, 100 HAPPY DAYS, FUNTASTIC FRIDAY, BLOGGERS SPOTLIGHT PARTY, FRIENDSHIP FRIDAY, EVERYDAY TESTIMONY, FAITH FILLED FRIDAY, SPIRITUAL SUNDAYS, FAITH 'N FRIENDS, GRACE & TRUTH, DANCE WITH JESUS, FAMILY, FRIENDSHIP & FAITH, MAKE MY SATURDAY SWEET, TGI SATURDAYS, WEEKEND WIND DOWN PARTY, LET US GROW, WORD OF GOD SPEAK, SMALL VICTORIES SUNDAY, GIVE ME GRACE, SOCIAL BUTTERFLY SUNDAY



BLOG = "Blessedly Leaning On God!"

THOU SHALT NOT WHINE

Did you know that this is a commandment?

(Well, not really, but don't you think it should at least be #10a???)

For indeed, are we not all prone to this?

(Tell me I'm not alone on this one, friends…)

I think it's part of human nature somehow.  After all, I see its beginnings as early as the Garden of Eden.


Observe the scene when God confronts Adam and Eve about that whole *apple* debacle – (my paraphrasing):


(GOD) "What have you done?"

(ADAM) "It's not my fault.  It was her fault!  (As he points a finger at Eve and takes a step away).  She gave it to me.  And you know, she's the woman YOU gave me, so it's kinda Your fault."

(God shakes His head, and slowly turns to Eve).

(GOD) "What have you done?"

(EVE) "It's not my fault.  It was the serpent's fault.  He deceived me, and I couldn't help myself.  Not to mention that Adam should have stood up for me and helped me.  And for the record, YOU created both of them, so it's kinda Your fault."


Now, clearly The Blame Game started in Eden, and so did the human propensity to make excuses instead of taking ownership and responsibility for our own actions.

But, I also think this is the beginning of The Whine.

Can't you hear their voices?

Mewling, sniveling, belly-aching.

"It's not my fault, waa, waa, waa…"

If any of you have ever raised children, and spent any length of time with a toddler, you will understand that we just might have a genetic predisposition to whining.  Sometimes nothing is right, and nothing will satisfy, and sometimes our only response is a good ol' temper tantrum.


But think about it – aren't the roots of whining found in blaming?

I think of those pesky Israelites.  I used to be so critical of their grumbling and mumbling.  I used to feel like shouting at my Bible...

"What is wrong with you people?  God brought you miraculously out of Egypt! Don't you get it?  He's not going to stop taking care of you now.  Quit your griping, stand up tall, and get on with it!"

I used to think that.

Until I took a good, long look in the mirror.

Hmmm.

Mrs. Whine looked back at me.


Yeah, I'm no different.

All too often, I find myself whining about life, or troubles, or inconveniences, or setbacks, or obstacles – or my weight or wrinkles or body aches or personality flaws – or bills or bad weather or broken cars – about almost anything that comes along that interferes with my comfort or control, or that doesn't fit in with MY view of *how things should be.*

I admit it – I can be a world-class complainer.


But I have discovered some really dangerous pitfalls about whining, and I'd like to share them with you:


1) It can become a habit

Yes, negativity can become an entrenched pattern.  Like an old, familiar overcoat that we wear – but shouldn't – it can envelop us in some really harmful habits.  I suppose it's one reason that we are cautioned to guard our hearts, and to capture our thoughts, and to mind our tongues.  For what lies deep inside us, the *wellspring* of our attitudes, can become contaminated.

And if we constantly gripe and grouse, we can find ourselves caught in a poisonous mire of infected thinking.


2) It can become contagious

Like the crummy common cold, whining can spread to others.  I think it's rather obvious that this happened to the Israelites.  Can't you just hear one person muttering, "You know, I miss Egypt…"  And then another person saying, "Yeah, you're right.  I liked eating meat."

I have noticed this in my own life.  As a mother and as a wife, sometimes my foul mood infects those around me.  And before I know it – ACHOO! – everyone's in a bad mood.

Yes, like a raging wildfire, the spirit of dissension can run rampant through the ranks.  


3) It can lead to bitterness

Oh yes, and what a slippery slope this can be.  Whining and complaining can become a habit of thinking, and that pattern can lead to bitterness.  And, trust me, bitterness is a spiritual cancer, insidiously leading to sarcasm and cynicism, gossip and backbiting.  Bitterness can pervade every part of us.  It can create an embittered outlook on life and a caustic view of our fellow man.

It's not a giant leap from bitterness to anger to hatred.

And therein lies a mighty foothold for the devil.


4) It can cause wandering

No doubt about this!

Again, we have the example of the Israelites.  Their attitude led to God pronouncing judgment – and they were consigned to wandering in the wilderness for 40 years.  Their example should serve as a mighty admonition. For when we allow negative patterns to take root, we can be distracted, dismayed, and detoured.

A wrong attitude can steer us off the path of following the Narrow Way – it can tempt us to wander away from the Lord.


5) It can erode gratitude and joy

At its heart, whining does not express either thankfulness or joy.  Unhappy people complain.  Ungrateful people grumble.  And when we become caught up in bemoaning everything that's wrong, there's no room for the Lord to capture our hearts with greater Truth – that He is more than our circumstances.  That He is our joy, not the good things in life.

That He is worthy of our eternal gratitude for all He's done for us.


6) It can lead to stagnation

Pessimism is weirdly captivating, for it allows us to moan and groan about life, instead of doing something about it.  Rather than doing the difficult work of searching for joy, it can be a lot easier to give in to whining.  Complaining somehow removes the onus of responsibility from our own shoulders.  It implies that *something or someone else* is at fault for the misery we're feeling.

Whining looks outward – like all that *finger-pointing* in the Garden of Eden.

Whining does not energize, it paralyzes.  Moaning leads to immobility.

And as long as we stay stuck in negativity, the less energy we'll spend on doing the real work of transforming our thoughts and renewing our minds.


7) It can tempt us to blame God

Oh, is there any more dangerous thing?!

Adam and Eve implied (to His very face!) that somehow God was at fault.  The Israelites did the very same thing.  Yes, they grumbled against Moses – but in their hearts, I believe they blamed God.  Their complaint summed up – "Did you bring us all this way just to have us die?" – was truly directed at the Lord.

Do we not do the same thing?

When we know God can do something, and He doesn't, there is great temptation to blame Him for everything that's wrong.  We can begin to feel cheated, affronted, resentful, suspicious.

And that opens the door to a dangerous precedent.


8) It can quench the Holy Spirit

Yup, even though the presence of the Holy Spirit dwells within each person that has accepted the Lord Jesus as their Savior, we can still thwart His work in our lives.

We can quench Him, grieve Him, stymie Him, impede Him, hamper Him, inhibit Him.

His work can only be accomplished in a heart that is yielded and surrendered. And trust me, we are NOT handing over our lives when we are caught up in a web of whining.

Negative thinking, out-loud complaining, and general grumbling about life are signs that our focus is woefully out-of-focus – a sure sign that we're looking *around us* instead of looking up!


So, that's my summary on The Whine.

What prompted this post today?

It might have had something to do with the headache I woke up with, the dress that was too tight, the spots and wrinkles I had to hide with makeup, the hot weather…and a host of other *whiney* challenges that ensnared me…

Until I remembered Commandment #10a:

"Thou shalt not whine."


For indeed, we shalt not be tempted to a critical attitude and endlessly reciting a litany of complaints.

We shalt trust the Lord our God, and rely on His wisdom, guidance, and leadership.

We shalt relinquish control of our lives and surrender our circumstances to Him.

We shalt believe in His goodness and grace.

We shalt rejoice in His providence, rest in His love, and remember His mighty deeds.

We shalt return to a spirit of joy and gratitude.


And we shalt walk on…

Oy vey.
Woe is me.
Alas and alack.

Oh, stop it!! 

"In the desert the whole community grumbled against Moses and Aaron." (Exodus 16:2, NIV)

"Then the whole community began weeping aloud, and they cried all night. Their voices rose in a great chorus of protest...And the LORD said to Moses, 'How long will these people treat me with contempt?  Will they never believe me, even after all the miraculous signs I have done among them?'" 
(Numbers 14:1, 11, NLT)

"Who may worship in your sanctuary, LORD?  Who may enter your presence on your holy hill?  Those who lead blameless lives and do what is right, speaking the truth from sincere hearts.  Those who refuse to gossip or harm their neighbors or speak evil of their friends." (Psalm 15:1-3, NLT)

"Do everything without complaining and arguing, so that no one can criticize you.  Live clean, innocent lives as children of God, shining like bright lights in a world full of crooked and perverse people.  Hold firmly to the word of life..." (Philippians 2:14-16, NLT)

"'For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.'" 
(Isaiah 55:9, NLT)

"Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you who belong to Christ Jesus." (1 Thessalonians 5:18, NLT)

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,a whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.  Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." (James 1:2-4, NIV)

"I will bless the LORD at all times; his praise shall continually be in my mouth." (Psalm 34:1, ESV)

"Rejoice in the Lord always.  I will say it again: Rejoice!" (Philippians 4:4, NIV)

"This is the day the LORD has made.  We will rejoice and be glad in it." 
(Psalm 118:24, NLT)



Are you caught up in a web of whining?



Linked with: 

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BLOG = "Blessedly Leaning On God!"

I'M SORTA MAD AT GOD

Dear me.

Did I just say that out loud?

You know, in my opinion there are some things that people just don't talk about in "polite Christian" circles.  And if you do talk about these things, sometimes you get judged.

And one of those untouchable subjects is feeling angry at God.

C'mon, if you're totally honest, I'll just bet that you've felt it.  But I'll bet you've never mentioned it for fear of incrimination.

From other believers…

…and from God.

(I have that vision of a thunderbolt screaming down from the clouds straight at my head.  Poof, I’m gone).

But, in all honesty, I am sorta mad at God right now.

Why?

Let me tell you.

There is just too much going on in my life and...

...I can't handle it.

Too much anxiety, too much stress, too many decisions, too much heartache.  

Suffice it to say that this year has begun with overwhelming feelings, and a singular inability to sort through it all.

I'm grieving the loss of my father a year ago.  It's been especially painful lately, and I am desperately missing his advice and counsel.

I'm watching my mother slip away.  I'm watching her struggle to do normal life.  And, my siblings and I are trying to make decisions about what's the best next steps to take.

I don't want to go on this journey.

An extended family member is fighting cancer.  Another member is facing major surgery to determine if they have cancer or not.

I've got some personal stuff going on, too – (don't we always?).

Sure, I know that God is there…I just can't feel Him real well sometimes.

And so, knowing that He CAN do something about some (all) of these things, and not seeing Him at work, I'm sorta frustrated.

Like one or two things might be manageable, but the word that comes to my mind right now is onslaught.


So here we are.

When faith butts up against reality.

When we know that God is able to fix things, but defers – for some unfathomable reason that we do not know, and want to know, but He chooses not to reveal it.  When we are desperate for His presence, but He seems kinda silent and distant.

This is why I'm sorta mad.

Like, "Where ARE You, Lord?"


So I am going to focus on two scenes from Scripture – specifically the two times that Jesus calmed a storm – to see if it's OK to feel this way.

(I have not yet seen a thunderbolt…)


Scene Number One – Jesus Calms A Storm:

Mark 4:35-40
English Standard Version (ESV)

Scene Number Two – Jesus Walks on Water:

Matthew 14:22-32
New Living Translation (NLT)


OK, so I want to break down these two scenes, and relate them to my feelings right now.

Scene One:

I notice right off the bat that Jesus is the one who tells the disciples to get in the boat in order to cross to the other side (knowing full well that there's going to be a big storm).  So, like, couldn't Jesus have just "pre-calmed" the storm?  Why push them into the middle of it?

Second thing I notice is that the boat is ALREADY filling up with water when the disciples go to Jesus.  OK, yeah, there might be the lesson that they're coming to Jesus as a last resort, but in my frame of mind I'm thinking, "Why didn’t HE come to them first?"

Third thing, Jesus is asleep?  Really?  Sound asleep??

Fourth thing, I'm not thinking that the disciples tapped Jesus on the shoulder politely, or wiggled His tunic gently.

I'm thinking that they most likely shouted at Him.  Yes, to be heard over the wind and waves, for sure.  But I'm thinking they were probably feeling like I'm feeling right now.  Frustrated that Jesus seemed nonchalant and removed from the dire circumstances.

My paraphrase:

"Hey Jesus, wake up!  How can You sleep when we're about to drown here? Don't you care about us?  Aren't You going to do something?  And honestly, if You really cared about us, why are we having to face this storm in the first place?  And why do we have to ask for You to help us?  Shouldn’t You just do that anyway?"

In other words, "WHERE ARE YOU???"


Scene Two:

I've never noticed this before, but it was Jesus who INSISTED that they cross over ahead of Him, without Him.  Again, it was Jesus who sent them, knowing a storm was coming.

Second thing I see is that Jesus is alone praying.  That's nice.  But, MEANWHILE, the disciples are in terrible straits.  They are both far from land, and far from Jesus.  He has left them alone to battle the waves.

OK, yes, He does come to them.  But He initially comes in a way that they don't recognize Him.  His arrival, at first, terrifies them even more.  Why does He allow them to experience more terror before He reassures them?

Yes, His words are very comforting.

But Peter still puts Jesus to the test.  (I like that about Peter, by the way).

Of course, when he takes his eyes off of Jesus he begins to sink.  (And yes, there's another good lesson there).  But, though Jesus rescues Peter, He still doesn't immediately calm the storm.

Why not?

Why didn't He calm the storm as Peter exhibited a huge leap of faith? Couldn't He have rewarded Peter for a brave move?  Nope.  Jesus let Peter start to sink before He acted.

And the storm wasn't stilled until they got back into the boat.


So, are you reading my undertone here?

A big fat WHY?

Why are we sent into storms?  Why doesn't Jesus come to our rescue right away?

Why do we have to cry out to Him as if we have to "remind" Him of our desperation?

Why does He sometimes allow us to experience terror?  Why does He let us sink a little bit (or a lot bit) under the waves before He does something?

Which begs the question, too, why are there times when He doesn't seem to deliver us at all?

My difficulty in reconciling this with a good and loving God is at the crux of my dilemma.  And it's why I'm sorta mad at God.

Because I want Him to answer this question, and sometimes He just doesn't:

"Lord, why don't You fix what only You can fix?"

(Still no thunderbolt…)



Have you felt this way?

Job did.  Joseph did.  David did.  Elijah did.  Jeremiah did.

I think all of the *pillars of faith* – those tried and true heroes of the Bible – I think they all felt these same feelings at one time or another.

And, lo and behold, I believe even Jesus did too.

"Abba, Father," he cried out, "everything is possible for you.  Please take this cup of suffering away from me." (Mark 14:36, NLT)


Oh boy.

Right there.

Jesus HIMSELF uttered the same words I am crying out.  He felt the same feelings I am feeling.  He felt overwhelmed, assaulted by an onslaught of *way too much.*

He was pleading for a rescue, for a rescue that He knew God could accomplish.

And yet, God did not rescue Him.

At least in the way that Jesus asked for.

The cup did not pass.  The cross still happened.  Jesus still had to die.

But, something else happened in the Garden of Gethsemane.

Something calmed Jesus and fortified Him for the storm ahead – and all this happened in the middle of the storm of angst and terror.

And whatever happened, that's what I want, too.


So I wonder.

What was it?

What changed in Jesus so that He was able to face the terrible suffering with a calmness that superseded the fear?  What gave Him the courage to face His enemies in serene silence?  What strengthened Him and enabled him to bear up under the impossible burdens facing Him?

How did He let go of all the questioning and pleading for God to intervene and fix things?

What did God say to Him?

(Wouldn't you love to have been privy to that conversation?!)

God must have said something that conveyed to Jesus that everything was happening according to plan, and nothing would happen outside of God's purposes.

I'm thinking God must have spoken to Jesus in the most intimate and kind way.   A deeply comforting way.  A gentle and sympathetic way.  A way in which Jesus somehow knew, in the very core of His soul, that His Father loved Him with a deep and enduring love.

And perhaps, in the end, God said the same thing to Jesus that Jesus had said to His own disciples:

"Take courage!  It is I.  Don't be afraid."

And if those words were enough for Jesus to hear in the middle of His storms, if they were enough to give Him the courage to face His storms, then they are enough for me.


You know what?

I'm not mad anymore – (I never really was, anyway…)

In spite of my feelings, in spite of the onslaught – in the middle of my angst and terror – my personal storm is somehow calmed.

And I am stilled by His presence – even though sometimes I can't feel it – because I know the Truth of it.

He is here.

And me of little faith will cling to Him…

…and walk on water.

Even though
I cannot see the mountain,
It doesn't mean
it isn't there.


My help is in the name of the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth.


 

DECLARATIONS OF FAITH:


(Job)  "Though he slay me, yet will I hope in him..." (Job 13:15, NIV)

(Joseph)  "You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done..." (Genesis 50:20, NIV)

(David)  "O LORD, how long will you forget me?  Forever?  How long will you look the other way?  How long must I struggle with anguish in my soul, with sorrow in my heart every day?  How long will my enemy have the upper hand? Turn and answer me, O LORD my God!  Restore the sparkle to my eyes, or I will die.

But I trust in your unfailing love.  I will rejoice because you have rescued me. I will sing to the LORD because he is good to me." (Psalm 13:1-3, 5-6, NLT)

(Elijah)  "Elijah was afraid...he went on alone into the wilderness, traveling all day.  He sat down...and prayed that he might die.  'I have had enough, LORD,' he said. 'Take my life...'

'Go out and stand before me on the mountain,' the LORD told him.  And as Elijah stood there, the LORD passed by, and a mighty windstorm hit the mountain.  It was such a terrible blast that the rocks were torn loose, but the LORD was not in the wind.  After the wind there was an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake.  And after the earthquake there was a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire.  And after the fire there was the sound of a gentle whisper.  

When Elijah heard it, he wrapped his face in his cloak and went out and stood at the entrance of the cave." (1 Kings 19:3-4, 11-13, NLT)

(Jeremiah) "I am the one who has seen the afflictions that come from the rod of the LORD's anger.  He has led me into darkness, shutting out all light. He has turned his hand against me again and again, all day long...He has besieged and surrounded me with anguish and distress.  He has buried me in a dark place...He has walled me in, and I cannot escape.  He has bound me in heavy chains.  And though I cry and shout, he has shut out my prayers...He has [left] me helpless and devastated...and made me the target for his arrows...deep into my heart.

He has filled me with bitterness and given me a bitter cup of sorrow to drink...Peace has been stripped away...I cry out, 'My splendor is gone! Everything I had hoped for from the LORD is lost!'...

But I called on your name, LORD, from deep within the pit.  You heard me when I cried, 'Listen to my pleading!  Hear my cry for help!'  Yes, you came when I called; you told me, 'Do not fear.'''

(From Lamentations 3, NLT)


(Jesus)  "Nevertheless, not my will, but yours, be done." (Luke 22:42, ESV)

"Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven." 
(Matthew 6:10, ESV)

"Jesus called out with a loud voice, 'Father, into your hands I commit my spirit.'  When he had said this, he breathed his last." (Luke 23:46, NIV)

-----------------------------------------------------------

"Fear not [there is nothing to fear], for I am with you; do not look around you in terror and be dismayed, for I am your God.  I will strengthen and harden you to difficulties, yes, I will help you; yes, I will hold you up and retain you with My [victorious] right hand of rightness and justice.  

Behold, all they who are enraged and inflamed against you shall be put to shame and confounded; they who strive against you shall be as nothing and shall perish.  You shall seek those who contend with you but shall not find them; they who war against you shall be as nothing, as nothing at all.  

For I the Lord your God hold your right hand; I am the Lord, Who says to you, Fear not; I will help you!"

(Isaiah 41:10-13, AMP)


My Grace Provider, even though I admit I'd rather You just take away this pain in my life, I hear You whisper to me that the grace You will provide for me to endure and emerge from this hurt will be all that I need.

I believe.

--Nancy Guthrie, "The One Year Book of HOPE"



How do you react when God seems far away?



Linked with:

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BLOG = "Blessedly Leaning On God!"

RIGHTEOUS INDIGNATION

I am a voracious reader.

I love reading, always have.

And my taste in books is rather eclectic.  I tend to lean toward fiction, for I do indeed love a good story, but non-fiction has its appeal, too.  Almost entirely, the non-fiction books that I read are written by Christian authors.

As for fiction?  I'm all over the place!

First of all, might I just say that I am quite pleased to see that the world of fiction now contains some wonderful Christian books.  Just as the world of Christian music has become more "legit" in recent years – the world of Christian literature is becoming more professional, more marketable. With better writing, and better exposure, the world of Christian fiction is exploding.

No longer do we have to be "embarrassed" by faulty fiction with poor plot, shallow characterization, or stilted dialogue.  Good books are being written – books that just happen to be written by Christian authors.

Having said that, I am also a great reader of secular fiction.  I am quite fond of mysteries, having earned my *reading stripes* on Nancy Drew.  And I also enjoy fantasy and science fiction.  I find that I tend to go on "reading jags" – becoming enraptured with one genre, and reading only that for several books in a row.

Lately, I've gotten rather immersed in historical detective novels.  Novels that have a wonderful plot, great characters, and a smattering of true historical facts and settings.  I've learned a lot about other centuries in other countries.  I've discovered a lot about early medical practices and forensics. And let me tell you, I'm glad I live in the 21st century!!


But, once in a while, I find that my two worlds clash.  My *Christian* comes against the worldview.

This happened just the other day.

I'm currently in the middle of a great series.  The characters are truly captivating.  The settings are breathtaking.  And the mysteries are multi-layered and intriguing.  So, I'm hooked on finishing this series, and then eagerly awaiting the next installment.

But, as I was reading the introduction of the next book (for me) in the series, which is set in Jerusalem, I was taken aback by something I read.  The sentence started out, "In the first century of the Common Era…" OK, I'm immediately perturbed at the use of this term.  I think it's a way to get rid of the traditional A.D. – which stands for "Anno Domini" – and means "in the year of our Lord."  It serves as the other side of B.C. – which stands for "before Christ."

So, I'm upset that this author is removing herself from any reference that uses Jesus as a benchmark.

Then, she refers to Him like this: "…a troublesome rabbi and carpenter from Nazareth…"

This is where my spiritual shackles rose!

How dare she dismiss our Lord?!

That entire day, I felt upset.  And I've been thinking about my thoughts and feelings ever since.

Why did I react like this?

And why so quickly?

For yes, my reaction was visceral, without rational thought, instinctual, and even protective.

I felt the same way I used to when someone would make fun of one of my sons, or try to bully them.  The *mother eagle* in me would swoop in with flaming eyes of vengeance and protection.

"Don't you dare go after one of my boys!!"

And, this is how I felt after reading these words.

"How dare you go after my Lord?!"

I felt righteously indignant.


So, curious, I looked up that term:

"Righteous indignation is typically a reactive emotion of anger over perceived mistreatment, insult, or malice. It is akin to what is called the sense of injustice…a feeling involving anger mingled with contempt or disgust."

Yup, that's what it felt like.

But, on pondering this whole incident, and my ensuing reaction, I have three things I want to bring to the table today.  Three lessons that I think the Lord wanted me to learn.


1) We should stand up for what we believe.

In other words, sometimes I think we're tempted to slough off things that people say or do.  We're unwilling to take a stand, for we are afraid of offending them, or of being attacked ourselves.  And so, thinking we're being spiritually meek and humble (at least that's the rationalization I use sometimes), we let things slide.

I've been party to conversations when people are bashing Christians and religion to my face.  My old neighbor used to do this.  And, I was silent. While on the inside, I kept thinking these two things:

"Does she not KNOW that I am a Christian, too?"

"And why am I not setting her straight about that?"

Yeah, sometimes I made a feeble attempt to justify the actions of people associated with the faith, but often it was a very tepid, milquetoast response on my part.  And part of what made it hard to have a good response is that, quite frankly, sometimes Christians behave badly.

I have often said that Christians can "block the view."  Sometimes it's really hard to see Jesus through our faults and sins.  Sometimes we're obstacles and not reflections.

But there is another situation in which I find it hard to stand up for what I believe.

I also find myself getting upset, but staying silent, when this happens in conversations.  The person says to me something along the lines:

"Oh, you're religious."

My hackles rise, but I either stay quiet, or I make some attempt to distinguish between a religion and a relationship.

Usually it falls on deaf ears.  For most people will then look at me like I'm a nutcase, a fanatic who's having a "relationship" with an invisible being.

Koo-koo…

I am all too often a spiritual shrinking violet, slinking away from confrontation or possible offense – even though the Spirit within me has been hurt, demeaned, or dismissed.

I want to do better.


OK, the next thing that I think the Lord wanted me to learn is this:

2) We should feel compassion and pity for the unsaved.

My first reaction to this person was anger.  Oh boy, I wanted to "get in her face."  I wanted to point out how disillusioned she was, how woefully incorrect she was in her view of Jesus.  I wanted to tell her off and set her straight.

And not in a kind way.

But, over the next few hours after reading this, the Lord began to change my heart.  He began to reveal to me that this woman didn't deserve my anger and hatred – though her words might stir up ill feelings, her lost heart should move me to tears.

I felt convicted.

Righteous conviction.

I got to thinking.  Though we might be highly offended at the words and actions of the unsaved, what should move us most is sadness and pity at the lost state of their souls.

Jesus told us to love our enemies.

How can we do that?

Sometimes I think it means that we pray, fervently, for their salvation.

For after all, aren't we really offended in the first place because we are privileged to know the Savior?

And don't we want that for everyone?

It's what the Lord wants.

I am reminded of this verse:

"The Lord is not slow about His promise, as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing for any to perish but for all to come to repentance." (2 Peter 3:9, NASB)

These people are not ignorant or stupid.  We are not "better" than them.  For truth be told, all of us are but creatures in desperate need of a Savior, whether we know Him or not.

Therefore, we should have the heart of God, who mourns over the lost, who does everything in His power to move them toward repentance.  The One who died for them, and loves them.

So, we can feel angry, yes, but we should really feel sad, and we should pray.


And finally, the Lord had this to say:

3) We should rely on Him in these situations.

Righteous indignation.

It should lead us to action, yes, but God-ordained action.  After all, we are not perfect – (I'm not, are you??).  And in our humanness, our indignation can become anger and we can say things we ought not.

Sometimes it's hard to distinguish between when I've been offended and feeling selfish anger, as opposed to a healthy indignation that comes from the Spirit.  Sometimes I can end up defending myself and not the Lord.  My heart is a deceptive thing.

Only Jesus knew indignation that was perfectly righteous.

He must lead us.

When to say something, and how to say it.

For His purpose in everything He did and said was to point to the Father.

And therefore, everything we do and say must also point to Him.  To His grace, His mercy, and His salvation.

This world is going to be offensive at times – perhaps lately, most of the time.  And we can be righteously angry and deeply offended.

How to react?

Stand up for what you believe, pray for the salvation of the lost, and rely on the Lord to do the speaking through you.

At the right time, in the right way, with the right words.


You're probably wondering, will I finish this book?  Probably.  For I do love the people, the story, and the series.  But, I am adding this author to my prayer list.

Because, though she wrote so eloquently about Jerusalem, the beautiful and shining city on a hill…

…she totally missed the Main Character.

It is ALL about Jesus.
The Way,
The Truth,
and The Life.

"Then the LORD asked Moses, 'Who makes a person's mouth?  Who decides whether people speak or do not speak, hear or do not hear, see or do not see? Is it not I, the LORD?  Now go!  I will be with you as you speak, and I will instruct you in what to say.'" (Exodus 4:11-12, NLT)

"'At that time your mouth will be opened; you will speak...and will no longer be silent.  So you will be a sign to them, and they will know that I am the LORD.'" (Ezekiel 24:27, NIV)

"'...when I give you a message, I will loosen your tongue and let you speak. Then you will say to them, 'This is what the Sovereign LORD says!'  Those who choose to listen will listen, but those who refuse will refuse...'" 
(Ezekiel 3:27, NLT) 

"…do not be anxious about how you should defend yourself or what you should say, for the Holy Spirit will teach you in that very hour what you ought to say." (Luke 12:11-12, ESV)

"...don't worry about how to respond or what to say.  God will give you the right words at the right time.  For it is not you who will be speaking – it will be the Spirit of your Father speaking through you." (Matthew 10:19-20, NLT)

"...for I will give you the right words and such wisdom that none of your opponents will be able to reply or refute you!" (Luke 21:15, NLT)

"...no one can tame the tongue.  It is restless and evil, full of deadly poison. Sometimes it praises our Lord and Father, and sometimes it curses those who have been made in the image of God.  And so blessing and cursing come pouring out of the same mouth.  Surely, my brothers and sisters, this is not right!...

If you are wise and understand God's ways, prove it by living an honorable life, doing good works with the humility that comes from wisdom...the wisdom from above is first of all pure.  It is also peace loving, gentle at all times, and willing to yield to others.  It is full of mercy and good deeds.  It shows no favoritism and is always sincere.  And those who are peacemakers will plant seeds of peace and reap a harvest of righteousness." (From James 3, NLT)



What gets your *spiritual hackles* up, and how do you handle it?




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