I'VE BEEN "BOOK-CLUBBED"

Let me explain.

First of all, let me tell you that I am an avid reader – have been all of my life. I read a lot of books, and I read fast.  I've been known to read a book in less than a day!

I mostly read fiction – mystery stories are my favorite genre (after all, I earned my stripes reading Nancy Drew).  But I also like to sprinkle in some non-fiction, too – (mostly faith-related books).

And yes, I have been a participant in Book Clubs.

But that’s not what I'm talking about.  I'm talking about being *clobbered* over the head by a book that stops me in my tracks.  A book whose message reaches deeper than just my thoughts – a book that speaks to my soul.

I have just finished such a book.

"Shattered Dreams" by Larry Crabb.

Perhaps it wouldn't have been a book that I would have picked on my own. After all, I'm not a fan of shattered dreams.  But a friend of my sons told me about it – had me read a short intro – and I knew it was a book that I needed to read.

This, from the back cover:

"'The Holy Spirit uses the pain of shattered dreams to help us discover our desire for God, to help us begin dreaming the highest dream.'
…author and counselor Larry Crabb has written a wise, hopeful, honest, and realistic examination of life's difficulties and tragedies.  He wraps insights around the bold story of Naomi in the Bible's book of Ruth…Shattered dreams have the power to change our lives for good.  Forever."


Really?

This is the question that I asked myself before I started reading the book. Now I understand what Dr. Crabb was talking about.  It seems to me that he spoke about three main premises that we subconsciously believe are true. But they are not inherently true, and there is some danger in believing so.


Here we go:


1) Life is supposed to work.

Don't we all have this underlying feeling that life is supposed to work? Isn't that the dream?  We desire to have pain-free lives.  Lives with good health, great marriages, fulfilling jobs, perfect children, and financial security.

We wiggle under the challenges of something less.

We are stressed by the reality of living in this imperfectly broken world.

The truth of the matter, if we're honest, is that we want comfort over character, ease over endurance, and self-fulfillment over faith.

However, it doesn't take much to realize that this is NOT the truth of our experience.  Life teaches us that it doesn't "work" – at least in the sense that we want it to.

So, our dreams for a pain-free life are shattered.


This leads us to the next premise:


2) If life doesn't work, then God is supposed to fix it.

C'mon, you know it's true!  We really do want our Lord to be the knight in shining armor – we want Him to swoop down and correct the injustices, heal the illnesses, mend the relationships, solve the money problems, etc.

Now, of course, there is nothing wrong with wanting these things, or praying desperately for these things.  I believe the problem lies in our expectation of God's rescue (as we see it), and then the disappointment and disillusionment when He doesn't fix our stuff.

So, our dreams for a godly rescue, a supernatural *fix*, are shattered.


Which leads to the last premise:


3) If God doesn't fix our life, then He's supposed to "be there" with us through it.

In other words, if bad stuff happens in life, and God doesn't come to the rescue and fix it, then He will be/should be "there" with us while we are going through it – we should be able to sense His tangible presence by our side.  We should be hearing His voice.

But often, just when we need Him the most, God seems especially hidden and silent.  Sometimes when we want to sense His presence the most, He seems particularly absent.

So, our dreams for the comfort of God's presence in a way that we can sense are shattered.


Now what?

Listen to this quote from the book:

"He lets us hurt and doesn't make it better.  We suffer and He stands by and does nothing to help, at least nothing that we're aware we want Him to do.  In fact, what He's doing while we suffer is leading us into the depths of our being, into the center of our soul where we feel our strongest passions.  It's there we discover our desire for God.  We begin to feel a desire to know Him that not only survives all our pain, but actually thrives in it until that desire becomes more intense than our desire for all the good things we still want…we wake up to the realization that we want an encounter with God more than we want the blessings of life." (page 4)


This is the crux of the book.

In having our lesser dreams shattered, we can be awakened to the greatest dream – the deep desire living within us for God Himself.

I believe that the most important thing that can happen to you after you've accepted Jesus as your Savior is getting in touch with how much you want to know God.  The greatest dream is discovering how much you just plain WANT God, not for what He can do, but just for Himself.

Trust me, the process isn't going to be easy.

In fact, it might hurt like hell (literally) – for the powers of hell will surely conspire to destroy you in the process.

The enemy will whisper frightful lies.  He will convince you that you have been abandoned to the hopelessness and futility of life.  He will continue to tempt you to hold on to the desire for those lesser dreams of the "good life."

But we must not lose hope.  We cannot give in to faulty premises.

This quote:

"The experience of despair is the initial movement in the rhythm of hope." (page 55)


And I believe that the one anchor that holds us through this whole process is Truth.

The Truth that God loves us, He is good, and He is there with us whether we feel Him or not.

Years ago, I visited the Carlsbad Caverns in New Mexico with my boys.  At one point on the tour, several hundred feet below the surface, our guide turned off the lights.  Believe me, it was pitch dark.  A total absence of light.  A dark so dark you could almost feel it.

Then our guide told us to put our hands in front of our face.  I placed my hand so close that it was almost touching my nose.  I could feel my breath on my palm.  But I absolutely COULD NOT see it.  No matter how hard I tried, there was nothing.

My senses did not see my hand, could not tangibly perceive it.

But it was there – so very close.

I think about this experience when I cannot feel God, when I cannot hear His voice.  My senses belie the truth that He is there, and will never leave nor forsake me.

And somehow, this is part of the greatest dream.  Wanting God even when life doesn't work.  Wanting God even when He doesn't come to the rescue and fix everything.  Wanting God even when I don't feel Him near and can't hear His voice.  Wanting Him more than even my experience of Him.

Wanting God above all else.


About a month ago, I had a night when I just experienced a total meltdown. Nervous beyond my ability to calm down, sobbing my eyes out, feeling completely out of control – I uttered a different sort of prayer.

Instead of asking God to fix things – though I still wanted Him to – I just cried from the deepest part of my soul:

Not my usual, "Lord, where are You?"

But something deeper…

"Lord, I just want You."

As soon as I said it, something very odd happened.  I actually felt this sense of peace, a feeling that I had reached something very, very deep within myself.  And after reading this book, I feel a sort of thrill that I have actually touched something very important in my life.

I know that I have experienced the greatest dream – even just for a few moments.

I want more of it, because I want more of God.


Sure, I'm terrified of what it might take to keep in touch with the greatest dream.

But wanting God with the deepest part of your soul is something powerful.

And if you arrive at this core in your heart, you will discover that at the bottom of the engulfing quicksand of life there is solid ground – hallowed ground…

…and you will stand.


Lord, give us the courage to pray this prayer, and mean it:

May I never want the good things in life more than I want You.  May I never seek Your gifts more than You, the Giver.  May I never be so comfortable in the here and now that I don't long for the hereafter.  Give me the tremendous gift of knowing how deeply I long for You.  Grant me the gift of pain in order to know that underneath all of the rubble of my life, my grandest desire is to know You.

Don't let me settle for the lesser dream of a good life, nor want good things more than the greatest dream of the best thing.

For the best thing in life…

…is You.

And the rain fell,
and the floods came,
and the winds blew and slammed
against that house;
And yet it did not fall,
for it was founded
upon a rock.

(Needless to say, I highly recommend this book!)

"O LORD, why do you stand so far away?  Why do you hide when I am in trouble?" (Psalm 10:1, NLT)

"How long, O LORD?  Will you forget me forever?  How long will you hide your face from me?" (Psalm 13:1, ESV)

"Why do You forget us forever?  Why do You forsake us so long?  Restore us to You, O LORD, that we may be restored; Renew our days as of old..." (Lamentation 5:20-21, NASB)

"You have seen, O LORD; be not silent!  O Lord, be not far from me!" 

(Psalm 35:22, ESV)

"'I love those who love me; And those who diligently seek me will find me.'" (Proverbs 8:17, NASB)

"...seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you." (Matthew 6:33, ESV)

"He will be the sure foundation for your times, a rich store of salvation and wisdom and knowledge; the fear of the LORD is the key to this treasure." (Isaiah 33:6, NIV)

"My soul yearns for you in the night; my spirit within me earnestly seeks you." (Isaiah 26:9, ESV)

"Delight yourself in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart." (Psalm 37:4, ESV)

"...for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure." (Philippians 2:13, ESV)

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.  In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths." (Proverb 3:5-6, ESV)

"...we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose." (Romans 8:28, ESV)

"Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy." (James 1:2, NLT)

"So be truly glad.  There is wonderful joy ahead, even though you have to endure many trials for a little while.  These trials will show that your faith is genuine.  It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold...So when your faith remains strong through many trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world.

You love him even though you have never seen him.  Though you do not see him now, you trust him; and you rejoice with a glorious, inexpressible joy." 
(1 Peter 1:6-8, NLT)

"For God has said, 'I will never fail you.  I will never abandon you.'  So we can say with confidence, 'The LORD is my helper, so I will have no fear.'' 
(Hebrews 13:5-6, NLT)

"Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength." (Mark 12:30, NIV)



How is God calling you to lay down your *shattered dreams* and seek Him, the greatest dream of all?



Linked today with:

SHARING HIS BEAUTY, PLAYDATES WITH GOD, UNFORCED RHYTHMS, MONDAY'S MUSINGS, SOLI DEO GLORIA, MONDAYS AT SOUL SURVIVAL, TELL ME A TRUE STORY, UNITE, TITUS 2 TUESDAYS, ALL THINGS BRIGHT & BEAUTIFUL, INSPIRE ME MONDAY, TESTIMONY TUESDAY, WHIMSICAL WEDNESDAYS, A LITTLE R & R WEDNESDAYS, WHOLEHEARTED WEDNESDAYS, TELL HIS STORY, CAPTURE YOUR JOURNEY, WINSOME WEDNESDAY, THREE WORD WEDNESDAY, WORD FILLED WEDNESDAY, COFFEE FOR YOUR HEART, FAITH BARISTA, THOUGHT-PROVOKING THURSDAY, THRIVING THURSDAY, THRIVE AT HOME THURSDAY, HEARTS FOR HOME, GRACE AT HOME, EVERYDAY JESUS, FRIENDSHIP FRIDAY, LIGHT FRIDAY HIT LIST, WHATEVER IS LOVELY, FAITH FILLED FRIDAY, ESSENTIAL FRIDAYS, FELLOWSHIP FRIDAYS, THE FRIDAY FIVE, SPIRITUAL SUNDAYS, COUNTING MY BLESSINGS, MAKE MY SATURDAY SWEET, SATURDAY SOIREE, STILL SATURDAY, WEEKEND BREW, RECOMMENDATION SATURDAY, GIVE ME GRACE, SUNDAY STILLNESS



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