I MISS YOU, DAD

This week I will mark the one-year anniversary of my father's passing.

What a year.

It's interesting to me how God works.  How sometimes He prepares your heart for something in such a tangible way.  Sometime during 2012, I had a strong sense that Dad's days were numbered.

In some ways, it wasn't a huge revelation.  Dad was completely bent over, so thin and feeble.  And his mind was rapidly receding into a faraway place.  He'd had a couple of mini-strokes in the previous years, and his diabetes was taking its toll.

But still...

He was DAD.

He'd always been a large figure in my life.  Literally, at 6'3" and around 230 lbs., he was a LARGE figure!  I can remember how some of my friends were intimidated by him.

One funny story?

My dad's mother and father loved to travel.  And they brought home gifts. One year, they gave my dad a black silk robe.

Flash forward to one night when a couple of guys thought it would be "great fun" to drive up our steep driveway, ring our doorbell, and peal out.  Well, they drove up our driveway, skidded into a planter, and tore up quite a few plants that You-Know-Who had planted (Dad!)

The car's tires got stuck in the mud – spinning out of control with no traction.

Suddenly, Mr. Martial Arts himself flung open the front door!

At the same time, the car found ground, and backed up at 1,000 mph, sped down the driveway, and drag-raced down the street and out of sight.

Dad stormed out the front door and waved his fist at the departing hooligans.

Dad asked, but I never 'fessed up to who they were.

A few days later, one of the guys, a good friend, told me how very, very scared they had been!  I think they thought that Dad had earned his black belt!!  


I digress.

But this is just one of many stories when Dad's literal physical presence was such a comfort to me, such a steady source of security.  And it serves to convey how very difficult it was to see this Ivy League college graduate (who exempted all his finals), successful small business owner, one-time elder in the church, all-around BIG guy deteriorate.

And yet, as I look back, I think God was doing a merciful preparation in my heart.  I knew Dad was going…and soon.


A year ago, my dad took a terrible tumble out of bed.  

I was down visiting my parents, but somewhere else at the time.  And this day, my youngest son *just happened* to be working downstairs on a project in my dad's workshop.

I got a call from him.

"Mom, you'd better come here.  Papa fell out of bed and he's hurt really bad."

Well, yes.  He was.  Very bad.

I remember calling 911.  I remember the wailing sound of the ambulance in the distance.  I remember the unsettling and rather creepy feeling of knowing that it was coming for us.  I remember riding over to the hospital in the front seat of the ambulance.  I remember hearing Dad crying out in pain in the back.

I spent every day with him during his week in the hospital.

I went and saw him at the nursing/rehab place he was transferred to.

I got called late one night to come over.  My dad was thrashing and yelling and trying to get out of bed.  They thought that I might be able to console him.

I dashed over, settled him down, and rubbed his forehead and eyebrows until he went back to sleep.

Little did I know that these would be my last moments with him.


I was awakened at around 3:45 AM just a day and a half later, with these words:

"Is this Sharon, Mr. N's daughter?"

"Yes."

"I'm sorry, but he passed away."

The rest of the words are blurry.

I remember calling everyone in the family, waiting as everyone arrived at my parents' house.  Talking as we waited for my mother to wake up to break the news to her.  Her surprise at seeing all of us.  Me walking her back into her room to change out of her nightgown.

Watching her face begin to sense the truth.  

Hearing her words:

"Everyone's here.  That's nice.  Wait, did something happen to Dad?  Did he die?"

"Yes, Mom, he did.  It's going to be OK."

I held her.


These are just snippets from that time.  A time that came as a shock, but not a surprise.  You see, I feel that God had prepared me.  And when the moment finally arrived, I was upheld with a strength that could only have come from Him.

This week will mark the one-year anniversary of the day that my dad died. And yet, it really marks the day when he entered the presence of our Lord.

One year later, that makes all the difference!


I miss you, Dad, and I always will, until we meet again.


My poem for you, today.


I MISS YOU, DAD

Through life and death, I have seen it all
From the joy of celebration to the gray of death's pall,
And when the time came to say goodbye
There were moments when I wished that I could die.

For pain wounded sharp, with slashing blows
Bringing times when my hope was dashed so low,
Moments when the ache in my heart burned deep
Moments when the grief kept me from sleep.

But now a year later, I pause to recall
That your death wasn't death, not really at all,
For on that day when you left us behind
In truth our dear Lord was just being kind.

For He released you from the shell of decay
He brought you to Him on your homecoming day,
And though I will miss you every day that I live
I know there is a future that God has to give.

We will see each other once again I know
When in the Light of Heaven our faces glow,
And I will have joy, just as you do now
No more furrows will wrinkle my brow.

Freed by grace, enwrapped in love
One day I will join you in the sky above,
And then all my sorrow will fade and cease
For I will experience the depth of God's peace.

So until that day, Dad, I will hold you dear
And fight the battle against the power of fear,
For I know that there is something more to death
Than just the mere ending of earthly breath.

There is wonder when we reach Heaven's door
A beginning, a new start, and oh so much more,
For reality begins when we leave this land
Reality begins when God takes our hand.

Through life and death, I have seen it all
From the joy of celebration to the gray of death's pall,
But even though I've had to say goodbye
I know that truly, we will never die!


© Sharon Kirby
December 31, 2014

Do not grieve,
my dearest daughter.
We will meet
again! 

"My purpose in writing is simply this: that you who believe in God's Son will know beyond the shadow of a doubt that you have eternal life, the reality and not the illusion." (1 John 5:13, The Message)

"...in fact, Christ has been raised from the dead.  He is the first of a great harvest of all who have died...now the resurrection from the dead has begun through another man...everyone who belongs to Christ will be given new life." (1 Corinthians 15:20, 21, 22, NLT)

"And now, dear brothers and sisters, we want you to know what will happen to the believers who have died so you will not grieve like people who have no hope.  For since we believe that Jesus died and was raised to life again, we also believe that when Jesus returns, God will bring back with him the believers who have died." (1 Thessalonians 4:13-14, NLT)

"And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, 'Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man.  He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God.  He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.'  And he who was seated on the throne said, 'Behold, I am making all things new.'" (Revelation 21:3-5, ESV)


Here's the Truth that serves as the beginning and the end, the *bookends* of our HOPE:

"Jesus said, 'It is finished.'" (John 19:30, NIV)

"'It is done!  I am the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end.'" (Revelation 21:6)



How does the hope of Heaven bring peace to you today?



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