Monday, February 9, 2015

I'M SORTA MAD AT GOD


Dear me.

Did I just say that out loud?

You know, in my opinion there are some things that people just don't talk about in "polite Christian" circles.  And if you do talk about these things, sometimes you get judged.

And one of those untouchable subjects is feeling angry at God.

C'mon, if you're totally honest, I'll just bet that you've felt it.  But I'll bet you've never mentioned it for fear of incrimination.

From other believers…

…and from God.

(I have that vision of a thunderbolt screaming down from the clouds straight at my head.  Poof, I’m gone).

But, in all honesty, I am sorta mad at God right now.

Why?

Let me tell you.

There is just too much going on in my life and...

...I can't handle it.

Too much anxiety, too much stress, too many decisions, too much heartache.  

Suffice it to say that this year has begun with overwhelming feelings, and a singular inability to sort through it all.

I'm grieving the loss of my father a year ago.  It's been especially painful lately, and I am desperately missing his advice and counsel.

I'm watching my mother slip away.  I'm watching her struggle to do normal life.  And, my siblings and I are trying to make decisions about what's the best next steps to take.

I don't want to go on this journey.

An extended family member is fighting cancer.  Another member is facing major surgery to determine if they have cancer or not.

I've got some personal stuff going on, too – (don't we always?).

Sure, I know that God is there…I just can't feel Him real well sometimes.

And so, knowing that He CAN do something about some (all) of these things, and not seeing Him at work, I'm sorta frustrated.

Like one or two things might be manageable, but the word that comes to my mind right now is onslaught.


So here we are.

When faith butts up against reality.

When we know that God is able to fix things, but defers – for some unfathomable reason that we do not know, and want to know, but He chooses not to reveal it.  When we are desperate for His presence, but He seems kinda silent and distant.

This is why I'm sorta mad.

Like, "Where ARE You, Lord?"


So I am going to focus on two scenes from Scripture – specifically the two times that Jesus calmed a storm – to see if it's OK to feel this way.

(I have not yet seen a thunderbolt…)


Scene Number One – Jesus Calms A Storm:

Mark 4:35-40
English Standard Version (ESV)

Scene Number Two – Jesus Walks on Water:

Matthew 14:22-32
New Living Translation (NLT)


OK, so I want to break down these two scenes, and relate them to my feelings right now.

Scene One:

I notice right off the bat that Jesus is the one who tells the disciples to get in the boat in order to cross to the other side (knowing full well that there's going to be a big storm).  So, like, couldn't Jesus have just "pre-calmed" the storm?  Why push them into the middle of it?

Second thing I notice is that the boat is ALREADY filling up with water when the disciples go to Jesus.  OK, yeah, there might be the lesson that they're coming to Jesus as a last resort, but in my frame of mind I'm thinking, "Why didn’t HE come to them first?"

Third thing, Jesus is asleep?  Really?  Sound asleep??

Fourth thing, I'm not thinking that the disciples tapped Jesus on the shoulder politely, or wiggled His tunic gently.

I'm thinking that they most likely shouted at Him.  Yes, to be heard over the wind and waves, for sure.  But I'm thinking they were probably feeling like I'm feeling right now.  Frustrated that Jesus seemed nonchalant and removed from the dire circumstances.

My paraphrase:

"Hey Jesus, wake up!  How can You sleep when we're about to drown here? Don't you care about us?  Aren't You going to do something?  And honestly, if You really cared about us, why are we having to face this storm in the first place?  And why do we have to ask for You to help us?  Shouldn’t You just do that anyway?"

In other words, "WHERE ARE YOU???"


Scene Two:

I've never noticed this before, but it was Jesus who INSISTED that they cross over ahead of Him, without Him.  Again, it was Jesus who sent them, knowing a storm was coming.

Second thing I see is that Jesus is alone praying.  That's nice.  But, MEANWHILE, the disciples are in terrible straits.  They are both far from land, and far from Jesus.  He has left them alone to battle the waves.

OK, yes, He does come to them.  But He initially comes in a way that they don't recognize Him.  His arrival, at first, terrifies them even more.  Why does He allow them to experience more terror before He reassures them?

Yes, His words are very comforting.

But Peter still puts Jesus to the test.  (I like that about Peter, by the way).

Of course, when he takes his eyes off of Jesus he begins to sink.  (And yes, there's another good lesson there).  But, though Jesus rescues Peter, He still doesn't immediately calm the storm.

Why not?

Why didn't He calm the storm as Peter exhibited a huge leap of faith? Couldn't He have rewarded Peter for a brave move?  Nope.  Jesus let Peter start to sink before He acted.

And the storm wasn't stilled until they got back into the boat.


So, are you reading my undertone here?

A big fat WHY?

Why are we sent into storms?  Why doesn't Jesus come to our rescue right away?

Why do we have to cry out to Him as if we have to "remind" Him of our desperation?

Why does He sometimes allow us to experience terror?  Why does He let us sink a little bit (or a lot bit) under the waves before He does something?

Which begs the question, too, why are there times when He doesn't seem to deliver us at all?

My difficulty in reconciling this with a good and loving God is at the crux of my dilemma.  And it's why I'm sorta mad at God.

Because I want Him to answer this question, and sometimes He just doesn't:

"Lord, why don't You fix what only You can fix?"

(Still no thunderbolt…)



Have you felt this way?

Job did.  Joseph did.  David did.  Elijah did.  Jeremiah did.

I think all of the *pillars of faith* those tried and true heroes of the Bible – I think they all felt these same feelings at one time or another.

And, lo and behold, I believe even Jesus did too.

"Abba, Father," he cried out, "everything is possible for you.  Please take this cup of suffering away from me." (Mark 14:36, NLT)


Oh boy.

Right there.

Jesus HIMSELF uttered the same words I am crying out.  He felt the same feelings I am feeling.  He felt overwhelmed, assaulted by an onslaught of *way too much.*

He was pleading for a rescue, for a rescue that He knew God could accomplish.

And yet, God did not rescue Him.

At least in the way that Jesus asked for.

The cup did not pass.  The cross still happened.  Jesus still had to die.

But, something else happened in the Garden of Gethsemane.

Something calmed Jesus and fortified Him for the storm ahead – and all this happened in the middle of the storm of angst and terror.

And whatever happened, that's what I want, too.


So I wonder.

What was it?

What changed in Jesus so that He was able to face the terrible suffering with a calmness that superseded the fear?  What gave Him the courage to face His enemies in serene silence?  What strengthened Him and enabled him to bear up under the impossible burdens facing Him?

How did He let go of all the questioning and pleading for God to intervene and fix things?

What did God say to Him?

(Wouldn't you love to have been privy to that conversation?!)

God must have said something that conveyed to Jesus that everything was happening according to plan, and nothing would happen outside of God's purposes.

I'm thinking God must have spoken to Jesus in the most intimate and kind way.   A deeply comforting way.  A gentle and sympathetic way.  A way in which Jesus somehow knew, in the very core of His soul, that His Father loved Him with a deep and enduring love.

And perhaps, in the end, God said the same thing to Jesus that Jesus had said to His own disciples:

"Take courage!  It is I.  Don't be afraid."

And if those words were enough for Jesus to hear in the middle of His storms, if they were enough to give Him the courage to face His storms, then they are enough for me.


You know what?

I'm not mad anymore – (I never really was, anyway…)

In spite of my feelings, in spite of the onslaught – in the middle of my angst and terrormy personal storm is somehow calmed.

And I am stilled by His presence – even though sometimes I can't feel it – because I know the Truth of it.

He is here.

And me of little faith will cling to Him…

…and walk on water.





Even though
I cannot see the mountain,
It doesn't mean
it isn't there.


My help is in the name of the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth.


 

DECLARATIONS OF FAITH:


(Job)  "Though he slay me, yet will I hope in him..." (Job 13:15, NIV)

(Joseph)  "You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done..." (Genesis 50:20, NIV)

(David)  "O LORD, how long will you forget me?  Forever?  How long will you look the other way?  How long must I struggle with anguish in my soul, with sorrow in my heart every day?  How long will my enemy have the upper hand? Turn and answer me, O LORD my God!  Restore the sparkle to my eyes, or I will die.

But I trust in your unfailing love.  I will rejoice because you have rescued me. I will sing to the LORD because he is good to me." (Psalm 13:1-3, 5-6, NLT)

(Elijah)  "Elijah was afraid...he went on alone into the wilderness, traveling all day.  He sat down...and prayed that he might die.  'I have had enough, LORD,' he said. 'Take my life...'

'Go out and stand before me on the mountain,' the LORD told him.  And as Elijah stood there, the LORD passed by, and a mighty windstorm hit the mountain.  It was such a terrible blast that the rocks were torn loose, but the LORD was not in the wind.  After the wind there was an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake.  And after the earthquake there was a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire.  And after the fire there was the sound of a gentle whisper.  

When Elijah heard it, he wrapped his face in his cloak and went out and stood at the entrance of the cave." (1 Kings 19:3-4, 11-13, NLT)

(Jeremiah) "I am the one who has seen the afflictions that come from the rod of the LORD's anger.  He has led me into darkness, shutting out all light. He has turned his hand against me again and again, all day long...He has besieged and surrounded me with anguish and distress.  He has buried me in a dark place...He has walled me in, and I cannot escape.  He has bound me in heavy chains.  And though I cry and shout, he has shut out my prayers...He has [left] me helpless and devastated...and made me the target for his arrows...deep into my heart.

He has filled me with bitterness and given me a bitter cup of sorrow to drink...Peace has been stripped away...I cry out, 'My splendor is gone! Everything I had hoped for from the LORD is lost!'...

But I called on your name, LORD, from deep within the pit.  You heard me when I cried, 'Listen to my pleading!  Hear my cry for help!'  Yes, you came when I called; you told me, 'Do not fear.'''

(From Lamentations 3, NLT)


(Jesus)  "Nevertheless, not my will, but yours, be done." (Luke 22:42, ESV)

"Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven." 
(Matthew 6:10, ESV)

"Jesus called out with a loud voice, 'Father, into your hands I commit my spirit.'  When he had said this, he breathed his last." (Luke 23:46, NIV)

-----------------------------------------------------------

"Fear not [there is nothing to fear], for I am with you; do not look around you in terror and be dismayed, for I am your God.  I will strengthen and harden you to difficulties, yes, I will help you; yes, I will hold you up and retain you with My [victorious] right hand of rightness and justice.  

Behold, all they who are enraged and inflamed against you shall be put to shame and confounded; they who strive against you shall be as nothing and shall perish.  You shall seek those who contend with you but shall not find them; they who war against you shall be as nothing, as nothing at all.  

For I the Lord your God hold your right hand; I am the Lord, Who says to you, Fear not; I will help you!"

(Isaiah 41:10-13, AMP)


My Grace Provider, even though I admit I'd rather You just take away this pain in my life, I hear You whisper to me that the grace You will provide for me to endure and emerge from this hurt will be all that I need.

I believe.

--Nancy Guthrie, "The One Year Book of HOPE"



How do you react when God seems far away?



Linked with:

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BLOG = "Blessedly Leaning On God!"

51 comments:

  1. You are right Sharon, I think there are some feelings we fear talking about openly even if we just have them in passing. In the onslaught it's is to become weary and wonder just where is God and focus on the why. But when turn to his word and even look back over our past experience with Him we see His faithfulness in riding out the storms with us.

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  2. I don't think it is wrong to yell at God. He's big enough to take it. I hope this is not tooting my horn but I wrote about this on my blog today. Sort of...

    http://billgrandi.ovcf.org/wordpress/?p=11989

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  3. I'm so sorry that its a tough time for you, Sharon, with so many different things going on. It can become overwhelming indeed. I always liked with the one story where the disciples are in the boat with the storm how Jesus was asleep; he knew God was taking care of him. I want to have that faith that despite what I'm going through, God is taking care of me and is walking alongside of me. I'm going to remember thoughts you shared here during difficult times. Hugs to you!

    betty

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  4. We sometimes get angriest at those we love the most, right? And God should be one of those we love the most. I'm glad he can take our anger.

    I'm sorry you're having such a tough time, Sharon. Praying this season will work itself out sooner rather than later, and that God will give you more evidence of his presence in it with you.

    I think God is pleased that we believe in his capacity to help us (otherwise we wouldn't get mad at him). Glad you are working this out, knowing he is here.

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  5. Oh Sharon ... I am so sorry that you are dealing with so much and feeling so overwhelmed. I'm praying, caring and relating as best as I can from a distance.
    {not being on a mountain or trying to move any currently} but living in the depths of a forgotten sea ...

    I was not quite sure how to respond or if I would wait awhile and think on this; but first I had to share or admit that I have been "mad at God" ... maybe even angry, but as I write this, for the life of me, I can't remember when it was... or over what. However, I know one thing, I did have my 'out' with Him and let Him know exactly how I felt, why and expressed my bewilderment, frustration and wonder of "where are you?" and "why?" and "how much or how long?" But I do know that God gets "anger"; He totally understands it. I'm sure He's been pretty angry Himself with "us", His Creation and wondered "why?" He ever thought of us. I know Jesus expressed "anger" but that it is really the "thunderbolt" question here. It's not our anger at so much 'stuff' in this forsaken world, it's directing it toward Him, when we know or believe that He CAN do something to change this but He's NOT! I think most of us have been mad at God but have "holy fear" not to say so. Of course, satan loves this when we try to figure God out {and if we could, He would not be God}, because we focus on us, on our selfish desires (or maybe not), and not on others (or maybe on others).

    See what I mean, I just wasn't ready to comment on this so I did the next best thing ... Google and read more than the following (these were the highlight ones):

    "Is it ever right to be angry at God?" by John Piper followed by "It is Never Right..."

    "Is it wrong ...?"

    Rest assured as you struggle and question; sort this all out as you have done once again so honestly and your vulnerability makes us all examine ourselves or our Bible knowledge {as you have cited so well} our spiritual walk and beliefs; knowing this: "God loves us, feels our sorrows and desperately wants to be in right relationship with us. You and I will both get angry at God again. But the challenge for us is to ignore our instinct to run, and trust God enough to stay", being honest with Him, working at reconciliation, even after we vent (lol) with no lightening bolts to speak of {zap}. I liked this advice I read on my search:
    "If you want to get mad at God, then transfer that over to Satan who has twisted you into thinking that God does not love you." enough??? Being mad is just a bit less than being angry ... but aim it at our enemy, I think that is what I must have done as I repented for casting my scream at God... not just cried out but screamed at why? Surely God is BIG enough to take it all and understand. My problem and yours with God will always be an issue when we try to make this world heaven. Getting it all in perspective and knowing God's in control and accepting as Jesus showed us. Awesome!

    May God help us weather any storm, calm our turbulent emotions and extend His right hand of mercy, grace, and hope. Love your quote from Nancy's book! But especially love your photo and caption as a finishing step. Thank you Sharon.

    Big HUG and prayers,
    Peggy

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    Replies
    1. oh and that seemingly SILENCE ... always gets me, perplexes me and I question myself more. "Bouncing off the ceiling" communication gets me every time. When God seems far away or not there, I wonder what I did this time...

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    2. Here's one more honest, good one as I read on to p. 2 of my search:

      "Angry at God, Mad at God"

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  6. Oh I love this! Yes - I think if we are honest, we have all been 'mad' at God! I have even been known to give Him the silent treatment! Real mature, I know! ;) I loved both portions of Scripture that you shared! I wrote a series on Resting in God and one of my favorite posts (a 2-parter, actually) was based on Jesus SLEEPING in the boat!

    As I read your words, two things came to mind - one, Jen Hatmakers' talk during the If:Gathering this weekend, where she said that Faith does not demand that God explain himself... ouch! Haven't we all been there? Her talk was all about believing God in the midst... very powerful! Secondly, I have a friend who graciously reminds me that God rarely answers WHY, but He often answers are When, What, Where, and How questions... (at least, eventually!)

    As one who often used to ask Him WHY, He gently told me years ago, "Honey, I don't answer to you! Just trust Me!" Yeah. That.

    Praying for you, your family, and all that is storming at you! May you find Calm on the storm!

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  7. The why question??? Thank you for this excellent post. I have been overwhelmed with anxiety for a few months now. Praying you get some answers and peace in your life.

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  8. Sharon, this post so spoke right to my heart! That was such a good point about Jesus letting Peter sink before He reached out and caught Peter. Sometimes it can be so difficult to see beyond the storm, especially when we are sinking. But the important part to remember is that Jesus will always catch us, even if we're already sinking.

    I love where you brought us, the one thing to always calm our fears and storms and maybe anger -- to realize that He is here with us, that being the Truth whether or not we are feeling it. He is here, so I can be still and let go of my fears and worries. He will catch me, He will keep me in this storm.

    Thank you so much for this, Sharon. Blessings!

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  9. OH, Sharon. This is so well written and shares such depth of feeling. AND...these are not just YOUR feelings but probably most, if not ALL of us, would have to admit we have been here. I am so sorry for all of those storms. All at once. I am so sorry, Sharon. I hold you in prayer as He holds You in His Hand, whether you feel it or not. You have given me much to ponder here for which I am grateful.
    Caring through Christ, ~ linda

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  10. Hi Sharon! I think trying to reason in faith is such a great way to simmer down emotions. Our feelings are a gift from God, so I wouldn't feel too bad if you were angry. Or upset. It just means things aren't quite right around you. And you know that to be true for sure!
    I think I always want to be sailing along, getting everything I want, all my needs met. Who wouldn't? The hard questions are...well...hard! It's difficult to make decisions for your Mom. You are the child, and then there's the grief of seeing her slip away.
    But thanks be to God who gives you peace, using your writing gifts. Using your mind to think. He is always with you, and your Mom too. In those still moments, he will speak his love over you, and fill you with his peace.

    I pray it will be today, and everyday.
    Tender blessings to you my friend,
    Ceil

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  11. Sharon you are going through so much - I do not envy you and I have been there myself. I wish I could tell you that it will be easy but I can't. It will be hard. I guess what I can tell you is that in the end - you will be much stronger as a person and much closer to the Lord. I am sending hugs, love, and prayers.

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  12. Sharon, I'm nodding my head to your honesty. Your bravery here. I think God is much more comfortable and welcoming of our honest emotions than we dare to allow ourselves to be. I pray you find rest in this, even as you struggle with the "too much" you are dealing with - rest in God's bigness to give you space to be where you are. To love you there. To sit with you there. To trust you to work through it and come to a deeper place of knowing God there. My heart is sad, too, for all you are carrying. Peace to you, friend.

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  13. Incredibly transparent post. I'm sorry you're going through so much right now. I love that you are comfortable enough to boldly ask God questions and even say out loud that your'e mad. But really you're not. I totally get it. Prayed for you tonight to receive a breath of fresh air through all that's going on - some good news in the midst of such continual hardships. That Jesus will keep shining through you as you cling to what you know to be true of the God who sees and loves you.

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  14. Yes, yes, yes, Sharon. I do believe God allows the storms to keep us close to his side. So that is my prayer for you, friend. That you would KNOW in ALL things, the nearness of your Jesus. Thank you for linking at Small Wonders.

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  15. I like the way you worked through, reasoning it all out, with us as your audience. I think you wrote that purposely so that we wouldn't feel like outcasts when we're overwhelmed and God seems far away. I like the ending when you weren't mad at Him anymore and I think that's key. Looking back at the big names in the Bible and Jesus Himself being real gives us hope. Thank you for stopping by and reading about my old car. As I wrote that, three of my girlfriends just happened to purchase BRAND NEW vehicles and I wondered if I should click on publish or scrap the post!!! But you, like me, understand the comfort of an old car. Thank you!!!

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  16. Your feelings sound very familiar to me. I know them all too well. I struggled with the idea that God CAN do something to help me, but He WON'T. That was such a difficult season of life. But the place God has brought me to is a place I wouldn't trade for anything.
    Yes, hang on to Him - Hold Fast - don't let go. He will never let go of you.
    Thanks for your honest & transparent post. I will be thinking of it often over the next long while. And when I do think of it, I will pray for you.

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  17. I'm a bit teary eyed as I read this beautiful hope-filled post. I truly believe God is quite capable of handling all of our "feels", even our anger. But, in the end, the wise person does what you did and goes to the word for guidance and solace.

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  18. Ah, Sharon, this encouraged me so much today! Thank you, thank you, thank you.

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  19. Oh, dear friend! I am sitting here in tears! I am SO thankful God led you to write this today, as you spoke straight to my inmost soul. I so understand and can relate to your words and the feelings of your heart, and surely Jesus understands all that we are facing and going through in this life. He has placed us in each other's lives to hold each other up and pray one another through. God is SO faithful. You are such a dear blessing to me, and I am praying for you often. God bless you in a HUGE way! Much love and many blessings to you. :)

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  20. I wonder why Jesus found it so necessary to say "Fear Not" the many times that he spoke those words. I can feel your frustration about difficult decisions that need to be made. I heard a man (a preacher) say to God, when he was going through a really rough trial, "I have done everything I know to do, and YOU GOD are not doing YOUR JOB." When all 5 children were living here at home, the only place I could find off to myself was the bathroom. (Thankfully we had 2 bathrooms.) A quiet place is often where we need to find and just take those deep breaths. I am praying for you and your siblings to have the wisdom from above and the courage for each day that lies ahead for your family and your mother. I think back when our son said he no longer believed in God. I knew he actually did, but he was simply mad at God. Truth is, God is not mad at you - just mad about you and loves you dearly. Thank you for sharing your honest and sweet words with us here at Tell me a Story.

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  21. Hi Sharon, your post is one of the reasons I love reading about David so much. He praised the Lord, yes, but he also raged at the Lord. But he always found his way back, always! And he always got to that place of trusting God no matter what. Great post
    God bless
    Tracy

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  22. Sharon, my pastor is fond of saying this about the storms of life: Either Jesus will calm the storm or He will put His arms around you and say, "This is a good storm, child, let's ride it out together."
    He is always there when we lean into Him and learn from Him, though it doesn't always feel like it. And just to let you know, I've gotten angry with Him, too. God is a big boy, though, and I've learned He can take it and will still love us infinitely. Blessings, Sharon, and hang in there!

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  23. You asked: "How do you react when God seems far away?" I think that is the time we all have to walk by faith and not by sight or by our feelings. It isn't easy, and I've been known to ask questions and maybe even yell on one or more occasions, but, in the end, I consider all that the great prophets and apostles, the men and women of old, went through in their lifetimes and I know, without a doubt, that no matter what life throws at me, if I cling to the One who is always as close as the mention of His name, I will make it.

    One of the hardest things about getting older is watching our parents age and fade away, and knowing we're headed there, as well. I remind myself often that it's just the circle of life and it's how God intended it to be. We live. We die. But it's not easy watching those we love come to the end. It helps to remember that death is but a doorway into the next life for those who believe.

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  24. Great post. I was reminded that the greatest blessings come through trials. Had it not been for that storm, Peter would have never experienced his brief walk on the water. Look what Mary and Martha(&others) experienced after Lazarus died. The three Hebrew boys were not kept through the fire, but God was with them in it. You named so many yourself. I enjoyed this very much!

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  25. Sharon, I love that you kept questioning, "Why?" and didn't just settle for the pat biblical answer that we all love to give...something like, "Ours is not to question why." Or, "Because of our sin nature." You just kept finding one why after another and boom...even Jesus felt it. You didn't try to give us a bible study teacher/pastor type answer. You hashed it all out and came to your conclusion as only a woman questioning can come to. "If it's good enough for Jesus, it's good enough for me." A heart of surrender. Love this post.

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  26. I think it's okay to be angry with God and wrestle. It's when I stop wrestling and just sit in my anger that really gets me in trouble because the anger begins to cloud the truth. Bringing any of my emotions to God is fruitful because I am remaining in relationship with Him. I love how you broke down these scenes in the bible and added your commentary. I think it's really helpful!

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  27. Wow… Serious lesson in theology, Sharon. You nailed it. I'd never thought of the storms that way, although I did immediately relate it to begin marched through the Valley Of The Shadow Of Death. God can march us around it and keep us from all storms, but in the end we'd never see the depth of His sovereignty and grace… Well done, sister. We'll done.

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  28. I can definitely relate to your feelings, my friend. Ultimately your peace comes from going to God, to the scriptures for the answers to your "why". I love how you broke down these two stories. One common denominator that I see is the human perspective. A lot of the disciple's fear came from not fully knowing and trusting Who Jesus {was} Is. I think the same is true for us a lot of the time. At least I know it is for me. I know my dad is at peace with Jesus. No longer suffering, striving, dying like he did in this world. This a wondrous thing! Something to celebrate. And yet, I'm far from feeling celebratory. The grief is so deep at times that I cannot breathe. I know you understand this, my friend. I know what I'm feeling is all about my loss, not his. I know there is an eternal perspective to all of this, but knowing it hasn't yet changed how I feel. There is a journey that we must take sometimes for what we know to become what we embrace. Though it be painful, there is purpose in that journey, We may not find happiness along the way, but we will find JOY and we will come to know Him more deeply and intimately.Blessings from a fellow traveler.

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  29. Your post is so relatable. I do think our disappointment at times in God is not from a lack of faith, but because we BELIEVE He can do anything and rescue us from our situation, BUT why won't He??? Then we are left with our own thoughts and the devil's deception if we are not careful. I've been in this place before and pulled away from God, only to realize - Where else can I go but to the Lord??? He is still the best thing I've got going in any of life's circumstances. We may go through difficult things (John 16:33), but thankfully God is with us. I am your neighbor at Holley's linkup.

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  30. What a powerful post, Sharon. The depth of your faith is a blessing to all who visit your cyber home.

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  31. Yep, the tension of relationship. And all those people you mentioned knew God and had a deeper relationship. I'm with you. I can't say I get angry with God as much as I want to know "why" just like you stated. What is taking so long for goodness' sake! :) Thanks so much for the encouragement, Sharon.

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  32. I'm so thankful for God changing us and growing us through the storms. And then when he allows us to use what he taught us to help someone else in their storm? That's the best. Thanks for linking up at #ThreeWordWednesday.

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  33. Thank you for sharing so many verses from the great cloud of witnesses who have gone before us along with your heartfelt commentary. It's encouraging to remember that I'm not the only one who has ever wrestled with these questions and frustrations. So very glad to have been your neighbor at Women With Intention today. Thank you again.

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  34. No wonder there are 35 comments here above mine... this hits home for all of us at one time or another ( or 2 or 200...) and you have tied all of it together so well Sharon. It's so amazing to see the answers for our own lives and questions, in the life of Jesus. His life and his actions are a blueprint for us, every time. I always appreciate the way you dig deeper into verses that we know by heart, and point out something that I've missed or overlooked, Wonderful post!

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  35. Hang in there Sharon! I've had many "mad at Gd" periods. I find I emerge each time more connected!

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  36. I can't remember where I read it or heard it, but someone said instead of asking why? we should ask what is this for? Glad you aren't mad at God. Also glad that God can take our anger. :)

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  37. Yep! Been there, sister! In fact, it wasn't till recently that I was asking ALL of the questions you wrote down! I don't think I was so much mad, as I was frustrated, thought...really not a big difference! And I was letting it stress me out, too! There is a deep calm in reading God's Word and seeing how He has worked in others lives. Sometimes we don't feel like He hears us and that He is with us, but just like those mountains, He Is!!! Thanks for sharing at Beloved Brews, where I found your link-up!
    Ann @ Christ in the Clouds (http://christintheclouds.blogspot.com/)

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  38. Hi Sharon, I have been feeling an onslaught also. It is helpful to read your blog. - thank you. I know God has been saying to me, He doesn't always take it away, but He does always help us through it, He holds on to us, when we let go a bit

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  39. Boom! I knew you would answer your question before I was finished reading :) you are awesome, this was such a blessing. If you want even more encouragement friend, I had the same questions you did with "Where was Jesus in MY storm?" http://www.hopeinthehealing.com/2014/08/14/where-was-jesus-in-my-storm/

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  40. Second blog I have read today about the storm/water, and THIRD time today I have read about Jesus calming the storm. I wonder if God is trying to tell me something?? PERHAPS??

    And kudos, Sharon, for your courage to say that we can be angry with God-- I tell my peeps the same thing... God is a big boy and can handle our anger. As long at it semi-quickly dissipates and doesn't give the devil a foothold.

    Praying fo you in this hard season, my sister. So looking forward to skyping soon. Next week ? Email me.

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  41. This is just beautiful Sharon, thank you so much for sharing your heart with us. I am so sorry for all that you are going through and I pray that your family will be able to see God through the midst of it all. My Dad passed away about 5 years ago and then Mum went 11 months later and in between that we had a still born daughter. I really thought that, its was enough with Dad at the time as we lived 1800 kms away and the travelling and leaving our little ones at home was hard but them we lost our baby and then Mum and I though wow the past year has been hard, but I know God was with us and as you say we clung to Him. Thanks for sharing this at Good Morning Mondays. I really enjoy what you write and your transparency and honesty. Blessings

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  42. great post sharon. i certainly have been fortunate to have been in groups where i was able to admit freely that i was angry at Christ for a variety of complaints...often related to difficulties/suffering in my life.

    i am thankful that He used comforting words from others as well as the truth of His Word in my life. time also helped. waiting has never been on the top 10 or 20 things i liked to do...but it is something that becomes so much a part of our lives isn't it? we wait for test results and outcomes. we wait for GOD to make us into the new creations that we are...but it takes time...

    learning to accept the things He brings into our lives as ultimately from His hand...it's very comforting AND biblical too. He isn't looking away when these things come along. He has a purpose in them...if for no other reson than to show us how much we need Him! but that is no small thing!

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  43. He knows our hearts whether we talk it out loud or not, so I always say its okay to talk about it. There is no shame in it. That honesty is often what pushes us to seek Him more.

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  44. Oh wow! Oh wow!

    I've felt angry at God before. So much so that I've actually yelled at Him. Really.

    Thank you for helping me not feel so much shame for those times when I did get angry.

    Thanks for sharing and for linking up to the #SHINEbloghop.

    Wishing you a wonderful weekend.
    xoxo

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  45. Why questions are on my heart this morning. For very different reasons but you asking them stood out to me. Praying for you and your family, Sharon.
    God bless.
    xoxo

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  46. I think why questions are normal. It helps to see the people throughout Scripture who also asked why and pleaded for an assurance of God's peace and presence. Praying that for you and for your family. Blessings!

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  47. Stopping by from last weeks Tuesday Talk to say thanks for linking up.

    I just love hearing people preach Gospel truth. Especially when they are preaching it to their self. Have a great day.

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  48. There are times and they seem to be often when I cry :( God where are you? Then I'm often reminded He's right where He's doing something.
    Isaiah 41:10-13, Ps. 46;10
    God bless our brothers and sisters in Christ. Amen

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  49. Oh yes, I have been there too, Sharon. I can recall a scene from not longer than a few months ago, literally screaming at God (while I was driving in my car) about a very difficult situation concerning our prodigal son. Like you, I knew full well that with one touch, God could fix everything and I was mad at Him for not doing so. My anger only lasted a moment and then I quickly repented. I knew without a doubt that God understood everything about it. Sometimes we just need to get it all out...better to explode for a minute than implode and do more damage, right? All I know is that over the years, going through many trials...some that I thought I could neve get through... my relationship with God has gotten stronger and I know my faith has been increased. It doesn't make it feel any better at the time these trials come, but I have been blessed beyond measure by receiving that peace that passes understanding during these times. Thank you for being so transparent and candid by posting on this subject. I love you and your heart, precious friend :)

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"So [I] have been greatly encouraged in the midst of [my] troubles and suffering, dear brothers and sisters, because you have remained strong in your faith. It gives [me] new life to know that you are standing firm in the Lord. How [I] thank God for you!" (1 Thessalonians 3:7-9)

Thanks for your comments - it is such a joy to be sharing my journey with friends like YOU!

(NOTE: Anonymous comments will be removed. Thank you for understanding.)