Monday, July 16, 2012


I'll bet you're wondering where this one's going…

Well, I thought I would post one more "true confession" before I head back up the hill to do battle with the internet(by the way, I've missed you all soooo much – I'm going to tackle my connection problems head on this week).

OK, true confession.

Last week, my first week living in the mountains, I behaved like a faith toddler – I had a very nice spiritual tantrum, a pity party to rival any party pooper out there.

I basically spent the entire week on the couch.


"The Hub" was busy moving boxes and furniture (which I can't do) – and until the furniture is in place, there isn't a lot of unpacking that I can do (especially when you're being a big baby…)

So, I sat on the couch – single-mindedly and intentionally doing nothing but reading and doing crosswords – (oh, and complaining).

In my defense, beyond the obvious emotional challenges, I had some other interesting stuff to deal with…

The house needs some *work*, and so it's a bit torn up right now.  I don't have a kitchen.  So, I have to wash my one cup, my one spoon, my one fork, my one knife in the powder room sink.  

Some of the toilets and showerheads aren't working.  One shower dribbles, and the other one possesses the water pressure of a cheap motel.  

The bathroom and kitchen floors are nothing but the wood sub-floor right now.  (I have to wear shoes everywhere because of that.  I forgot one day and pierced my foot with a carpet tack strip.  Tetanus shot or not?  See what I mean??) 

The satellite guy moved our dish to a "better place" which turned out to be right in front of a picture window with a great view.  We had to wait two days for them to come back and fix it.

I couldn't find our bills.

I have packed away (and who knows where) all but one pair of tennis shoes, one pair of hiking boots, and a pair of flip-flops.  Oh, and a pair of cowboy bootswhich I had to wear to church last Sunday.  Yee haw.

Also this week I have had these mountain adventures:

1.  Met a mouse in the garage (where the fridge is right now) - he wasn't cute.

2.  Had to chase a chipmunk out of my bedroom - he was cute, but still.

3.  "The Hub" caught a rattlesnake in our driveway, put it in a garbage can - and then informed me the next morning that it had escaped.

4.  "The Hub" caught a mountain king snake and brought it in to show me - fortunately, I am not terrified by snakes, but still.

To which a dear friend had this comment – "I'm afraid of every one but the chipmunk, and I still do not want ALVIN in the bedroom." (Thank you for the much-needed chuckle!)

You might think that some of these things would challenge you, too.  Maybe. But the thing is this – I had a certain determination to have this bad mood, and to not let go of it.

That's the tantrum part.

Remember the old "Donny and Marie" show?  Remember how they used to sing "I'm a little bit country, I'm a little bit rock and roll"?  Well, I was a little bit Jacob, a little bit Jonah.

When I wasn't wrestling with God, I was running away from Him.

It took a lot of effort to avoid Him.

You see, out of almost every single one of the many windows I have in my house, there is a beautiful postcard view.  

I had to catch myself – I would find myself stealing a glance at the beautiful valley, or the majestic granite mountain peaks, or the many green trees, or the sparkling blue skies.  I'd start to think, "Oh…what a wonderful sight…"

And then I'd stop myself, and with a little (big) pouty attitude say, under my breath, "But I don't want to be here."

And then I'd storm back to the couch.

Immaturity, thy name is Sharon.

How pity-full.  How small.

How me.

I've spent a few days back in town with my sons.  It's been really fun.  And, it's afforded me the time to take a step back and gain some perspective.

Oh man.

I have had quite a tantrum.

I am dismayed at how easily the enemy can use my selfishness and twist me all up into petty knots.

How easily he can turn the call of God into something that feels like a curse.

How easily he can direct my focus away, away from God and fully (foolishly) on myself.

I am dismayed at how easily I can lose controljust because I've lost control over a very big change in my life.

This past week, I took a very good look at myself – and God took a very good look at me.

I hope He loved me more than I did.

Thank goodness, I'm pretty sure that He does!

And what I am learning is that God has much work to do in me – there are things He seeks to teach me up here on the mountain.  Things He needs to prune and refine.  Things that continue to hamper the Holy Spirit's work.

Oh, Lord – in the stillness and solitude of this very beautiful place, teach me how to be still.  Teach me how to praise You for the beauty of Your creation.  Teach me how to yield my will to Your perfect plan.  Teach me to long for character more than comfort.  

Teach me to grow up.

To get a grip.

To let go of myopic self-focus, and to fix my eyes on You.

The tantrum is over.

God brings His peace.

"God does not willingly bring affliction or grief to us.  He does not delight in causing us to experience pain or heartache.  He always has a purpose for the grief He brings or allows to come into our lives...God never wastes pain.  He always uses it to accomplish His purpose.  And His purpose is for His glory and our good.  Therefore, we can trust Him when our hearts are aching..."  (Jerry Bridges, "Trusting God")

What's gotten you into a spiritual *tizzy* lately?

Linked today with Joan at SHARING HIS BEAUTY

BLOG = "Blessedly Leaning On God!"


  1. Hi Sharon

    Wow, think you had a right to have a pity party, your guests were more worthy than mine.

    But I am pleased you are back on the right footing with God, on His Mountain.

    Miss you on here, God Bless - Nita

  2. Oh my, Sharon, what a first week you had! The wildlife would have had me moving back to the city in a heart beat, LOL. I like your honesty here, I can so truly relate; I've had a few tantrums myself over the months down here. Print this out and keep it handy close to you over the days ahead because I think (just based on my experience) there could be a few more ups and downs with this issue as you continue to learn to be still and see what God has in store for you.


  3. There now...
    Don't you feel better already?

    Seriously, this is exactly what I believe it means in the Word when we're told to confess and share with other believers. (Please forgive me. I am thinking of a very specific passage that I have taught, but I'm too dizzy today with flair up to remember what it is.)

    It's not the deep sordid things of the past that He means. It's THIS stuff. That whole journey of being human. When we tell each other, we not only feel just a little bit better ourselves, but it evokes a feeling of true compassion and conviction to pray in those who are listening.

    I told you that God was using every minute of this adventure, and this is just one example. You spoke to every spiritual brat in blog land today and gave us a much needed swift kick.

    By the way, I'm kicking back.
    Did you feel it?

    So...on my prayer calendar for Sharon this week:
    Extermination of a super natural sort. I am rebuking Simon and Theodore in the name of Jesus.
    A productive spirit
    And a butterfly out that window.

    There's more, but that's my start.

    Oh, and I am choosing to praise that you DON'T have a lot of dishes to wash right now.

  4. Bless your dear heart, love and prayers to you.

  5. Oh my, I agreeing with your friend's comment :)

  6. Well, Sharon, you know of the many tizzy fits and tantrums I have thrown over the past 9 months. Thankfully, the Lord has given me moments of peace in these past 2 months. And I am learning to trust that God is in control! And that He will work everything for my good and the good of my family. Hard lessons to learn when life pulls the rug and all that's familiar out from under us.

    I'm glad you're adjusting and pray that you'll see more from your window views and less from the floor beneath you. Keep your eyes on His beauty all around you. Although, I do not find beauty in His snakes. Especially when one is on my property or in my house like the one we had last week curled up in the entry way. I thought that was a sign we were to move back to Cali where that doesn't happen (lol).

    I'll keep you in prayer as the Lord leads you on this next adventure He has for you.


  7. I am sorry Sharon, but you did have me laughing at the scene you were presenting. It sounds all to familiar with what I went through when I move to my log house first. Only they were no window on the first floor to look out and see the beautiful view in the beginning. That came over the years. Plywood floors and a propane fridge that sat on my back porch. Mice and pack rats were everywhere. I had no running. I just looked at it all as a challenge to try and live with nature. Well life is much better now after years of work and improvements to our house and property. But being surrounded by nature has allowed me to learn a stillness within it. Your views sound like they are just beautiful. If you are looking into internet. Their is satelite internet as well. That is what I use. More expensive, but so nice to have a window to the outside world. I will keep you in my prayers that you will find the motivation to make this house your home and open yourself to the new lessons God has in store for you. Hugs Carrie

  8. Yes. Thought of you today. Prayed for you. So knew this was probably you this week - except for the snakes. Could do without them. And, hope the spiders are keeping clear of you. You're a better woman than I, Gunga Din.

    May you know His peace and the power of "STILL" knowing He is God - even in this. And, 'tis gold that you shall yet be. Good things and beauty - and internet connections surround you . . .



"So [I] have been greatly encouraged in the midst of [my] troubles and suffering, dear brothers and sisters, because you have remained strong in your faith. It gives [me] new life to know that you are standing firm in the Lord. How [I] thank God for you!" (1 Thessalonians 3:7-9)

Thanks for your comments - it is such a joy to be sharing my journey with friends like YOU!

(NOTE: Anonymous comments will be removed. Thank you for understanding.)