I was reading the other day.
Seems like I'm doing a lot of reading lately.
Learning, listening, lounging –
And I read something that a friend wrote that really triggered something in my heart. She was talking about *letting go* of a particularly difficult situation in her life. About how hard it is for her to do that. How relinquishing control is often a moment-by-moment process.
How well I relate.
A tired mom, wanting and waiting to release the burden of care that she is carrying.
Yes, I get it.
Those of us who are mothers will totally understand the weight of love and concern that we have for our children. (By the way, those of you who aren't mothers still care for other people deeply – you will also understand what I'm talking about).
And we should care.
If we ever took that job of mothering seriously, we will care…deeply.
But sometimes we can get overburdened, overwhelmed, overcome by the things we care about. Especially when we face the ugly fact that we have little control over another person's circumstances, decisions, feelings.
I often find myself being the "emotional burro" of the family.
Might I just say in my defense that I come by that role naturally.
I am the first-born child, and oldest daughter of a first-born son and an only child (my parents). I am also the first-born granddaughter of two first-born sons – and the oldest cousin in my family. (Might I just add that both of my parents were also the oldest grandchildren and oldest cousins on one side of their families).
(Sign me up for the counseling couch)
The weight I carry for others – especially for my children – heavy, heavy at times.
Now, as a believer and a follower of Jesus, I know that I am not in charge. (I'm not, right? Funny how I keep having to check on that…)
The Lord is in infinite control of all things, and all people.
So, I know that my spiritual mandate is to allow Him to have that control. To exhibit my yielding to His sovereignty by trusting and obeying Him.
I really, really try to do that.
But I am struck by the spiritual irony that I am now actually striving to rest.
As I pondered what my friend wrote, I thought about that word *release*.
The definition of lease is this (taking out the specific legal stuff so it makes sense emotionally!):
A contract by which one party conveys [something or someone] to another...
In that sense, God is asking me, inviting me to do just that. To make a contract with Him to convey all my *stuff* to Him.
When I thought about that, releasing my burden actually becomes...
Stopping once again to hand over to Him all those things that burden me.
To once again move into that place where I abide with Him. Where I allow the indwelling of the Holy Spirit to comfort and calm me.
I re-lease in order to once again find peace.
It's not easy for this crazy first-born.
Very often I find myself *taking back* all the people and situations that I thought I had given to the Lord. Evidently, some of the things that I think I "nail to the cross" are actually just thumb-tacked…or loosely held on with Post-It notes…
But, God is calling this overly responsible, overly conscientious mother to give it ALL to Him.
Today, though with a troubled heart and an anxious spirit, I will re-lease it all to Him who loves me.
Hope you can, too.
Is there a burden that God is asking you to re-lease to Him?
BLOG = "Blessedly Leaning On God!"