I AM A BLACK SHEEP

Seriously.

I have on some occasions pulled the wool over someone's eyes.

I have been known to count myself when I can't fall asleep.

When asked how I'm doing, there have been times when I've answered, "Not baaaaad."


I even wrote a poem about me:

Mary had a little lamb,
Its fleece was white as snow.
Her sister, Judy, had another lamb,
Whose fleece was black as coal.

Now everywhere that Mary went,
Her lamb was sure to go,
But Judy’s lamb was wont to wander,
And its favorite word was, "NO!"

Mary's lamb was never lost,
And always chose to obey,
But Judy's lamb was an ornery sort,
And always chose its own way.

Mary's lamb was nice and good,
And gladly gave its wool,
But Judy's lamb kicked up a fuss,
Struggling to push and pull.

At the end of the day, Mary's lamb
Was just as sweet as can be,
But Judy's lamb was not so quite,
For you see, her lamb was me.


Yeah, I'm a black sheep.

Every family seems to have one.  That one person who doesn't quite fit into the mold, or toe the line, or obey the rules.  The one person who just kinda gets out of line.

Now mind you, I wasn't a bad girl.

I just had *mess-ups* in my life.

I was born into a wonderful family.  My parents were both believers, same with all four grandparents.  In fact, I was surrounded by a very large extended family, and almost to a person, they were also strong believers.

I myself became a believer at the age of 3, got baptized at 14, and attended church faithfully with my family.  I even graduated from a Christian college.

I had some rather innocuous disobediences growing up – who doesn't? Minor offenses like breaking curfew, or an occasional fib, or some questionable boyfriends.  But overall, I was a good girl.

However, as an adult, I stopped attending church, and fell out of fellowship.


Somewhere along the way, I kinda got lost.

I became a lonely girl.  A confused girl.  

And finally, a girl who was hurt, tired, and wanting to come *home.*


At some point in this journey, I found my way back to the Lord.

I read through the Bible for the first time.  And somewhere in those pages, I was reconciled once again to the Savior who, though I had moved away, had never left me.

It was at this time that God literally "came knocking at my door."

One day, I happened to be standing in the driveway.  At this precise moment, a couple walked by the front of the house.  They stopped...

"Are you going to be selling your home?" asked the wife.  "We've been curious about all the construction going on."

"No, just doing some remodeling," I answered.

At this point, the couple approached and struck up a conversation.  

Turns out that they lived only a few blocks away.  And, in the course of talking, the wife mentioned that she was part of a neighborhood book club, and invited me to try it out if I liked to read.  I chuckled, and confirmed that I was a voracious reader.

So, the wife and I went to get some paper and a pen to exchange information.

I had noticed that her husband's hat had a cross on it, and I casually mentioned it to her.

"Why yes, I'm a Christian," she said.

"Me, too," I said.


Now she invited me to join her Bible Study.

I said I'd think about it.

You know, you'd think that I would jump at the chance to *rejoin the ranks* and gladly begin to attend her Bible Study, and maybe even start going to church again.

But, when you feel like a *black sheep* – it's hard to take that first step toward home.

In fact, in my conversation with her, I had briefly mentioned that I wasn't attending church, and had wandered from the Lord for a while.  She didn't make a big deal out of it, for which I was so grateful.

And then, as she was walking to rejoin her husband and continue on their walk, she quoted this verse:

"'Then I will make up to you for the years that the swarming locust has eaten…'" (Joel 2:25, NASB)


I was really pretty floored.

The New Living Translation says it this way:

"'I will give you back what you lost…'"

And let me tell you, those words were like a balm to my spirit.  Like a life preserver.  Like a cup of water to a thirsty soul.  Like a light shining into the deepest darkness.

Those words gave me hope.

I remember thinking to myself, "Could God really do that?"

I am chagrined to tell you that I still resisted the idea of going to Bible Study.  But, in the end, I did go.  And I cannot begin to tell you how that changed everything.

One little black sheep decided to go home.

And a gracious and loving Father ran to greet me with open arms and a warm embrace.

All these many years later, I still hold that verse very dearly in my heart. For indeed, I have truly found out that God, our Great Redeemer, can give it all back.


Of course, the battle doesn't end there.

Even now, the father of lies does his best to bring up the past.  

He tries to overwhelm me with guilt.

He tries to keep me mired in regret.

He constantly strives to remind me of my *black wool.*

But when this starts to happen, I remember the heart of the One who has been so good to me.

He keeps me looking forward.  He keeps me looking at Him.  

And over and over He washes me with the Truth of His forgiveness, mercy, grace, and love.


So, to all you black sheep out there – or even you guys who are only a little gray – rest assured that you're not alone.

There's a whole herd of us, and we're all ornery and stubborn and prone to wander.

Even those of us who follow the Lord can still find ways to meander off the path, to refuse to yield control – and we can find ourselves caught in the thicket of defiance and disobedience. 

But might I just remind you of something?

There is a Good Shepherd who loves you and wants you to come home.

He is willing and able to forgive ANYTHING – and He is ready to offer His unmitigated grace, His compassionate mercy, and His boundless love.

He's got a hug waiting.

And a fresh, clean outfit of wool tailored just for YOU!



Baa baa, black sheep,
What color is your fleece?
Praise the Lord, it's white as snow,
And I am clean, in peace.

Yes, indeed, He CAN redeem it all!

FLEE TO THE CROSS AND STAY THERE!

Just me, Sheepie,
hanging out
with the
Lion of Judah!! 

"I do not at all understand the mystery of grace - only that it meets us where we are but does not leave us where it found us." -- Anne Lamont



"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." (1 John 1:9, ESV)

"For his unfailing love toward those who fear him is as great as the height of the heavens above the earth.  He has removed our sins as far from us as the east is from the west." (Psalm 103:11-12, NLT)

"'Come now, let's settle this,' says the LORD.  'Though your sins are like scarlet, I will make them as white as snow.  Though they are red like crimson, I will make them as white as wool.'" (Isaiah 1:18, NLT)

"'For I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sins no more.'" (Jeremiah 31:34, NIV)

"Have mercy upon me, O God, according to Your steadfast love; according to the multitude of Your tender mercy and loving-kindness blot out my transgressions.  Wash me thoroughly [and repeatedly] from my iniquity and guilt and cleanse me and make me wholly pure from my sin!   For I am conscious of my transgressions and I acknowledge them; my sin is ever before me.  Against You, You only, have I sinned and done that which is evil in Your sight, so that You are justified in Your sentence and faultless in Your judgment...

Hide Your face from my sins and blot out all my guilt and iniquities.  Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right, persevering, and steadfast spirit within me.  Cast me not away from Your presence and take not Your Holy Spirit from me.  Restore to me the joy of Your salvation and uphold me with a willing spirit." (Psalm 51:1-4, 9-12, AMP)

"Purify me from my sins, and I will be clean; wash me, and I will be whiter than snow." (Psalm 51:7, NLT)

"Oh, what a miserable person I am!  Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin and death?  Thank God!  The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord." (Romans 7:24-25, NLT)

"Finally, I confessed all my sins to you and stopped trying to hide my guilt.  I said to myself, 'I will confess my rebellion to the LORD.'  And you forgave me! All my guilt is gone." (Psalm 32:5, NLT)

"...forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the [supreme and heavenly] prize to which God in Christ Jesus is calling us upward." (Philippians 3:13-14, AMP)

"For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery." (Galatians 5:1, ESV)

"So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed." (John 8:36, ESV)

Are you still *blackened* by any sin – big or small – that you've never laid down at the Cross?

Linked with:

SHARING HIS BEAUTY, PLAYDATES WITH GOD, SMALL WONDER, MONDAY'S MUSINGS, MONDAYS AT SOUL SURVIVAL, LIFE GIVING LINKUP, GOOD MORNING MONDAYS, GRATEFUL HEART MONDAY, FIND STABILITY, REFLECT LINKUP, WORDS WITH WINTER, THE ART OF HOMEMAKING, MOM 2 MOM MONDAY, TELL ME A TRUE STORY, TITUS 2 TUESDAY, TESTIMONY TUESDAY, TELL IT TO ME TUESDAYS, WOMEN HELPING WOMEN, UNITE, MAKE A DIFFERENCE MONDAYS, TUESDAY TALK, RA RA LINKUP, A LITTLE R & R WEDNESDAYS, WHOLEHEARTED WEDNESDAY, COFFEE & CONVERSATION, WAITING ON WEDNESDAY, THREE WORD WEDNESDAY, WORD FILLED WEDNESDAY, COFFEE FOR YOUR HEART, WISE WOMAN, WOMEN WITH INTENTION, TELL HIS STORY, LITTLE THINGS THURSDAY, FROM HOUSE TO HOME, THOUGHT-PROVOKING THURSDAY, BELOVED BREWS, EVERYDAY JESUS, GRACE AT HOME, THOUGHTFUL THURSDAYS, SHINE, HEARTS FOR HOME, LOOKING UP LINKUP, LIVE FREE THURSDAY, FRIENDSHIP FRIDAY, LIGHT FRIDAY HIT LIST, FELLOWSHIP FRIDAY, SPIRITUAL SUNDAYS, COUNTING MY BLESSINGS, FAITH & FELLOWSHIP, MAKE MY SATURDAY SWEET, GRACE & TRUTH, DANCE WITH JESUS, SATURDAY SOIREE, STILL SATURDAY, WEEKEND BREW, TGI SATURDAYS, SUNDAY STILLNESS, GIVE ME GRACE, 



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