Monday, July 6, 2015

I AM A BLACK SHEEP


Seriously.

I have on some occasions pulled the wool over someone's eyes.

I have been known to count myself when I can't fall asleep.

When asked how I'm doing, there have been times when I've answered, "Not baaaaad."


I even wrote a poem about me:

Mary had a little lamb,
Its fleece was white as snow.
Her sister, Judy, had another lamb,
Whose fleece was black as coal.

Now everywhere that Mary went,
Her lamb was sure to go,
But Judy’s lamb was wont to wander,
And its favorite word was, "NO!"

Mary's lamb was never lost,
And always chose to obey,
But Judy's lamb was an ornery sort,
And always chose its own way.

Mary's lamb was nice and good,
And gladly gave its wool,
But Judy's lamb kicked up a fuss,
Struggling to push and pull.

At the end of the day, Mary's lamb
Was just as sweet as can be,
But Judy's lamb was not so quite,
For you see, her lamb was me.


Yeah, I'm a black sheep.

Every family seems to have one.  That one person who doesn't quite fit into the mold, or toe the line, or obey the rules.  The one person who just kinda gets out of line.

Now mind you, I wasn't a bad girl.

I just had *mess-ups* in my life.

I was born into a wonderful family.  My parents were both believers, same with all four grandparents.  In fact, I was surrounded by a very large extended family, and almost to a person, they were also strong believers.

I myself became a believer at the age of 3, got baptized at 14, and attended church faithfully with my family.  I even graduated from a Christian college.

I had some rather innocuous disobediences growing up – who doesn't? Minor offenses like breaking curfew, or an occasional fib, or some questionable boyfriends.  But overall, I was a good girl.

However, as an adult, I stopped attending church, and fell out of fellowship.


Somewhere along the way, I kinda got lost.

I became a lonely girl.  A confused girl.  

And finally, a girl who was hurt, tired, and wanting to come *home.*


At some point in this journey, I found my way back to the Lord.

I read through the Bible for the first time.  And somewhere in those pages, I was reconciled once again to the Savior who, though I had moved away, had never left me.

It was at this time that God literally "came knocking at my door."

One day, I happened to be standing in the driveway.  At this precise moment, a couple walked by the front of the house.  They stopped...

"Are you going to be selling your home?" asked the wife.  "We've been curious about all the construction going on."

"No, just doing some remodeling," I answered.

At this point, the couple approached and struck up a conversation.  

Turns out that they lived only a few blocks away.  And, in the course of talking, the wife mentioned that she was part of a neighborhood book club, and invited me to try it out if I liked to read.  I chuckled, and confirmed that I was a voracious reader.

So, the wife and I went to get some paper and a pen to exchange information.

I had noticed that her husband's hat had a cross on it, and I casually mentioned it to her.

"Why yes, I'm a Christian," she said.

"Me, too," I said.


Now she invited me to join her Bible Study.

I said I'd think about it.

You know, you'd think that I would jump at the chance to *rejoin the ranks* and gladly begin to attend her Bible Study, and maybe even start going to church again.

But, when you feel like a *black sheep* – it's hard to take that first step toward home.

In fact, in my conversation with her, I had briefly mentioned that I wasn't attending church, and had wandered from the Lord for a while.  She didn't make a big deal out of it, for which I was so grateful.

And then, as she was walking to rejoin her husband and continue on their walk, she quoted this verse:

"'Then I will make up to you for the years that the swarming locust has eaten…'" (Joel 2:25, NASB)


I was really pretty floored.

The New Living Translation says it this way:

"'I will give you back what you lost…'"

And let me tell you, those words were like a balm to my spirit.  Like a life preserver.  Like a cup of water to a thirsty soul.  Like a light shining into the deepest darkness.

Those words gave me hope.

I remember thinking to myself, "Could God really do that?"

I am chagrined to tell you that I still resisted the idea of going to Bible Study.  But, in the end, I did go.  And I cannot begin to tell you how that changed everything.

One little black sheep decided to go home.

And a gracious and loving Father ran to greet me with open arms and a warm embrace.

All these many years later, I still hold that verse very dearly in my heart. For indeed, I have truly found out that God, our Great Redeemer, can give it all back.


Of course, the battle doesn't end there.

Even now, the father of lies does his best to bring up the past.  

He tries to overwhelm me with guilt.

He tries to keep me mired in regret.

He constantly strives to remind me of my *black wool.*

But when this starts to happen, I remember the heart of the One who has been so good to me.

He keeps me looking forward.  He keeps me looking at Him.  

And over and over He washes me with the Truth of His forgiveness, mercy, grace, and love.


So, to all you black sheep out there – or even you guys who are only a little gray – rest assured that you're not alone.

There's a whole herd of us, and we're all ornery and stubborn and prone to wander.

Even those of us who follow the Lord can still find ways to meander off the path, to refuse to yield control – and we can find ourselves caught in the thicket of defiance and disobedience. 

But might I just remind you of something?

There is a Good Shepherd who loves you and wants you to come home.

He is willing and able to forgive ANYTHINGand He is ready to offer His unmitigated grace, His compassionate mercy, and His boundless love.

He's got a hug waiting.

And a fresh, clean outfit of wool tailored just for YOU!



Baa baa, black sheep,
What color is your fleece?
Praise the Lord, it's white as snow,
And I am clean, in peace.


Yes, indeed, He CAN redeem it all!


FLEE TO THE CROSS AND STAY THERE!





Just me, Sheepie,
hanging out
with the
Lion of Judah!! 




"I do not at all understand the mystery of grace - only that it meets us where we are but does not leave us where it found us." -- Anne Lamont



"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." (1 John 1:9, ESV)

"For his unfailing love toward those who fear him is as great as the height of the heavens above the earth.  He has removed our sins as far from us as the east is from the west." (Psalm 103:11-12, NLT)

"'Come now, let's settle this,' says the LORD.  'Though your sins are like scarlet, I will make them as white as snow.  Though they are red like crimson, I will make them as white as wool.'" (Isaiah 1:18, NLT)

"'For I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sins no more.'" (Jeremiah 31:34, NIV)

"Have mercy upon me, O God, according to Your steadfast love; according to the multitude of Your tender mercy and loving-kindness blot out my transgressions.  Wash me thoroughly [and repeatedly] from my iniquity and guilt and cleanse me and make me wholly pure from my sin!   For I am conscious of my transgressions and I acknowledge them; my sin is ever before me.  Against You, You only, have I sinned and done that which is evil in Your sight, so that You are justified in Your sentence and faultless in Your judgment...

Hide Your face from my sins and blot out all my guilt and iniquities.  Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right, persevering, and steadfast spirit within me.  Cast me not away from Your presence and take not Your Holy Spirit from me.  Restore to me the joy of Your salvation and uphold me with a willing spirit." (Psalm 51:1-4, 9-12, AMP)

"Purify me from my sins, and I will be clean; wash me, and I will be whiter than snow." (Psalm 51:7, NLT)

"Oh, what a miserable person I am!  Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin and death?  Thank God!  The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord." (Romans 7:24-25, NLT)

"Finally, I confessed all my sins to you and stopped trying to hide my guilt.  I said to myself, 'I will confess my rebellion to the LORD.'  And you forgave me! All my guilt is gone." (Psalm 32:5, NLT)

"...forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the [supreme and heavenly] prize to which God in Christ Jesus is calling us upward." (Philippians 3:13-14, AMP)

"For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery." (Galatians 5:1, ESV)

"So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed." (John 8:36, ESV)



Are you still *blackened* by any sin – big or small – that you've never laid down at the Cross?



Linked with:

SHARING HIS BEAUTY, PLAYDATES WITH GOD, SMALL WONDER, MONDAY'S MUSINGS, MONDAYS AT SOUL SURVIVAL, LIFE GIVING LINKUP, GOOD MORNING MONDAYS, GRATEFUL HEART MONDAY, FIND STABILITY, REFLECT LINKUP, WORDS WITH WINTER, THE ART OF HOMEMAKINGMOM 2 MOM MONDAY, TELL ME A TRUE STORY, TITUS 2 TUESDAY, TESTIMONY TUESDAY, TELL IT TO ME TUESDAYS, WOMEN HELPING WOMEN, UNITE, MAKE A DIFFERENCE MONDAYS, TUESDAY TALK, RA RA LINKUP, A LITTLE R & R WEDNESDAYS, WHOLEHEARTED WEDNESDAY, COFFEE & CONVERSATION, WAITING ON WEDNESDAY, THREE WORD WEDNESDAY, WORD FILLED WEDNESDAY, COFFEE FOR YOUR HEART, WISE WOMAN, WOMEN WITH INTENTION, TELL HIS STORY, LITTLE THINGS THURSDAYFROM HOUSE TO HOMETHOUGHT-PROVOKING THURSDAY, BELOVED BREWS, EVERYDAY JESUS, GRACE AT HOME, THOUGHTFUL THURSDAYSSHINE, HEARTS FOR HOME, LOOKING UP LINKUP, LIVE FREE THURSDAY, FRIENDSHIP FRIDAY, LIGHT FRIDAY HIT LIST, FELLOWSHIP FRIDAY, SPIRITUAL SUNDAYS, COUNTING MY BLESSINGS, FAITH & FELLOWSHIPMAKE MY SATURDAY SWEET, GRACE & TRUTH, DANCE WITH JESUS, SATURDAY SOIREE, STILL SATURDAY, WEEKEND BREW, TGI SATURDAYS, SUNDAY STILLNESS, GIVE ME GRACE



BLOG = "Blessedly Leaning On God!"

42 comments:

  1. While I have never "strayed" as you have, I have often been the victim of very poor choices. I'm glad He has taken my stained, black wool and made me white as snow.

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  2. Baa, baa, baa ... I'm one too (not bad but not good enough)! I fit your definition.

    What a delightful blog, Sharon or is it Shari ... because your "Sheepie" looks just like Lamb Chops! So precious! What an amusing and beautiful way to share your testimony although I knew some of this! What a gift you have in writing!

    I shouldn't even ask ... but did you write the new version of "Mary's (and Judy's) little lamb"?

    Clinging to the Lamb with you ... for He washes me too ... daily I go to Him and love His embrace and grace ... (hugs) ~Peggy

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  3. I, too, have had a "black sheep" past and know full well the power of Christ to reclaim and restore. Beautifully and cleverly penned, Sharon!
    Blessings!

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  4. Aren't you grateful that we have such a good Shepherd!

    I love this line from your post: "There is a Good Shepherd who loves you and wants you to come home."

    Thanks for sharing today. I came over on the #Grateful Link up.

    Hope you have a blessed Monday~
    Melanie

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  5. Wonderful words and thoughts expressed here, Sharon. Lots of black sheep out there, but I am glad that God is patient and then welcomes them all back with open arms!

    betty

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  6. Beautiful and very encouraging. Thank you Sharon. :)

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  7. The truth is that we are all shades of gray to downright black until Jesus makes us white as snow. When our daughter was tiny, she used to sing... "Jesus loves me this I know, for his fleece is white as snow". She was right, but so is ours, thanks to Him!

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  8. A very pertinent post for me, but hooray! for this black sheep wanted to go back to the Shepherd even as recently as the last couple of weeks.
    Thank you for being understanding and encouraging, Sharon, and I'm glad you came back to Him.
    xx

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  9. I just taught about Joel 2! I love that God pleads and says If you will turn to me! :) Stopping by from Reflect.

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  10. Well, let's see. My name is Mary and my sister's is Judy (I'm glad I got to be the good girl) and I found a personal relationship with Jesus in a neighborhood Bible Study and led a Christian book club for six years! Lots in common! I am so glad you are not perfect and had mess ups like me or I'd have to leave the room. Seriously, what I like about this post is your sincerity. It is sprinkled in every sentence, Sharon. I feel like I really know you now and can relate to you even more.

    Can't help but wonder if the awesome neighbor became a friend? She had the perfect word for you (and me) and I'll be praying it for my loved ones. "'I will give you back what you lost…'"

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  11. Hi, Sharon! How I love this testimony of God's faithfulness and forgiveness. It's so encouraging to hear and you share His love so well. :) I'm stopping by from Titus 2 Tuesday where we are "neighbors."
    Jen @ Being Confident of This

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  12. I laughed out loud at you counting yourself when you couldn't sleep :) Such a beautiful post, you are far from a black sheep, you are precious in God's eyes! ♥

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  13. Nice post!

    I'm surely a black sheep - with my history as a card-carrying hired gun (really!) it's hard NOT to be one. But I was and am one of Orwell's "rough men"..."good people sleep safe in their beds because rough men stand ready in the night to do violence on their behalf."

    I'm not ashamed of that, nor of my operational motto - "fear ye the dark, for behold, I am in it".

    http://blessed-are-the-pure-of-heart.blogspot.com/2015/07/your-dying-spouse-26-morale.html

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  14. Aw, heck, and I forgot to say...I'm your neighbour from Testimony Tuesday.

    And I love Marty!

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  15. Cute poem, wonderful testimony, great sermon. Blessings.

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  16. A little teary eyed reading your story. Isn't God's love so amazing, the way He seeks and saves us wandering sheep?

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  17. Yep, been there done that! So thankful that He redeems those lost years! Thank you Sharon! #RaRa

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  18. Hi Sharon - I am so very grateful for Gods grace and mercy and that even though I to have been a black sheep - He sees me as pure, white.... Truth be told, we all have a little black sheep in us don't we? Love your post. Stopping by from #RaRa Linkup where we are neighbors... Testimony Tuesday and Titus 2 Blessings

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  19. I so miss your words if I don't get by here every week. I think about you frequently, Sharon. Honestly and truly. I know I've said this before, and I also know I could just reach out and text or call you, but really wish you lived closer so we could do a weekly or bi-weekly coffee date. Wouldn't that be lovely!

    I refer to myself often as the black sheep of my large family. It's hard, ya know. To feel like I don't belong. But God's doing much revealing and maybe preparing my heart to step away from a role that in some ways has become comfortable. And it's all through His love and faithfulness and teaching and grace.

    He's continually making me (us) new.

    Always love coming here because I always seem to leave with words of wisdom I needed to hear.

    Love you, dear friend.
    xoxo

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  20. Most of us "good girls," have wandered a bit especially when attracted to the "bad boys." Even so God has his methods to protect us when we try to be black stubborn rebellious sheep. When we finally "give in" and allow Him to give us a good SHAMPOO with his special cleaning solvent, our black wool turns white as snow. How would have believed it? But that is the truth. Next time you are tempted to look back at the black wool, take another look at who is sitting on your shoulder and tell him to buzz off. Then forgive yourself for all and any black sheep escapades, and know that God has already forgotten them all. Thanks for sharing with us here at Tell me a Story. http://letmetelluastory.blogspot.com/

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  21. Oh yes, I loved your poem! It needs to be published. Where could you submit it?

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  22. Awesome post! I too did my stint as a prodigal. Funny how true peace escapes us when we're running from God. You'd think we'd have been smart enough to know, like Job, there is no running to the One that paid for our souls with a price.

    Excellent poem too, by the way! Clever girl...

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  23. Sharon,
    Joel 2:25 has been a verse I have prayed over my daughter since we brought her home from an orphanage in Bulgaria four years ago. She suffered much in those first 5 years of her life and she still pushes away the love of us and the love of Jesus. However, I am firmly claiming His promises over her life! Thank you for the great post!

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  24. I love you, you are precious.

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  25. You have me in tears, woman! I can hardly see the keys as I type. "My name is Debby and I am a fellow black sheep." I am going to print this post out and keep it in my bible. Oh how I would love to sit and talk with you...you could cry on my shoulder and I'll cry on yours...then we would pray together. I love you for being so transparent, my precious friend.

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  26. What comfort comes from the verse in Joel 2. Thanks for linking up for Three Word Wednesday.

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  27. Beautiful, precious words, my dear friend! So thankful God led you back into His fold, and now you shine so brightly here for all of us. You are a light and an inspiration to all who come across this blog. God is using you in ways you do not even see or know...only eternity will reveal it all. Praying for you and sending you much love and many blessings across the miles. :)

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  28. You never cease to amaze me - post after post it seems like it's exactly what I need to hear! Thank you so much for sharing with us at Waiting on...Wednesday! I look forward to your posts each week!

    Holly @ www.iwillservewhileiwait.blogspot.com

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  29. Awesome post and that verse about the locusts has been a comfort to me this summer. Not the same loss, but just that God never exacts a cost from us that He won't repay 100 fold.

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  30. Thank you for your post. I, too, can claim battles that I lost. There is consolation in a Father that forgives and causes us to lean on Providence. Wishing you well.

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  31. "He gives you back what was lost." Yes, that's the heart of this grace-filled gospel. Thanks for sharing, Sharon.

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  32. I loved this story and the creativity with the sheep references. Thanks for sharing! I'm sure many can relate to your story. Visiting from #belovedbrews.

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  33. Loved this, Sharon! I had no idea you were a poet too - what a sweet poem that made me smile :)

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  34. This describes me so perfectly. I wandered far and wide till my 40s. God is so gracious and good!! Claiming Joel 2:25 for me, and my daughters, who are both wandering now.

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  35. I've never been a "Black Sheep' officially but from time to time I've had some real "Black Sheep" thoughts. I too always want to keep coming home. Thanks for sharing. Stopping by from Count My Blessings.

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  36. I always love visiting here and reading words that are just so real and so honest. We all have had black sheep moments and even when we resist God is working hard behind the scenes to bring us back. I love that image. Thank you for sharing this at The Weekend Brew.

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  37. It's just always comforting that no matter what kind of sheep we are our Shepherd will not give up on us, search for us and make sure we are safe under His guidance.

    Thanks for sharing your story and the lesson we get from it. :)

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  38. As always a fantastic post full of reality and transparency. I so enjoy stopping by here reading your posts. Wonderful that all sheep are welcome in the Kingdom, even the black ones. Blessings

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  39. Well, Sharon, I could never think of you as a black sheep. You are so filled with love for the Lord and a deep closeness to His word. Perhaps you wandered at one time, but His love drew you back just as He has drawn each of us back and cleaned us up--for Himself.
    It's good to be here again. I have missed you, Sharon.
    Blessings, Janis

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  40. Oh yeah! As God would have it, you were next to me at "Give Me Grace: Rest." So glad! I eventually would have visited though.
    Janis

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  41. This is officially the best poem on the planet. Straight up.

    And I love the message of your testimony here. I seriously hope you write a book. I call dibs on an autographed copy.

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"So [I] have been greatly encouraged in the midst of [my] troubles and suffering, dear brothers and sisters, because you have remained strong in your faith. It gives [me] new life to know that you are standing firm in the Lord. How [I] thank God for you!" (1 Thessalonians 3:7-9)

Thanks for your comments - it is such a joy to be sharing my journey with friends like YOU!

(NOTE: Anonymous comments will be removed. Thank you for understanding.)