Monday, February 11, 2013


Well, it will be Valentine's Day in a couple of days.

A day when we celebrate love.

It makes me think of cards, and flowers, and candy.  I'm sorta particular about my candy.  I'm not a *See's box of chocolates* kind of girl.  I'm more like Hershey's chocolate kisses, and M & M's – and if you want to throw in a couple of Milky Ways or Crunch Bars – I will accept that.

So, it's a day for sweethearts.

But, this year, I'm also thinking about my *heart* condition.

Not my physical heart, but my spiritual heart.

How's my faith pumping lately?

I've got to be honest.  I've been all over the map with this move to the mountains.  In the beginning, I really struggled.  Then things got better.  I thought that I had finally "arrived" up here.  But then the holidays came, and some winter challengessome boredom and some frustration – and boom.  I hit the *pits* again.

Recently, I was driving back "up the hill" from a visit to my family.  

I told God out loud that I needed to hear from Him.  I wasn't exactly sure that I wanted to hear from Him.  Because I knew the words would probably be stern.  I have not been a pillar of longsuffering lately.  Mrs. Crabby has taken up residence.

So, though I wasn't entirely sure that I wanted to hear from Him, I needed to hear from Him.

I waited a couple of minutes.  Nothing.  So, I decided to call a friend and yak for a while to make the trip go faster.  Yes, I realize that I was putting God "on hold."  Sometimes (almost always) He waits for me to quiet myself before He speaks.   I've been having trouble with *quiet* lately.

Anyway, after about an hour, I had to get off the phone.  I was heading toward that last 30-minute stretch of winding mountain road into town. And there is no cell phone signal on that stretch.

So, here's the scenario – me, a dark and winding road, no sound but the hum of the car – until He spoke:

"Do you trust Me?"

OK, that caught me off guard.

I answered without thinking…

"No, I guess not."  (At least not in a practical *down-deep-where-the-peace-is-and-I-live-like-I-believe-it* kind of way)

He said it again:

"Do you TRUST Me?"

I answered, a little more quietly...

"I want to, Lord."

Once more, He said it again – a patient third chance, just like He gave Peter:

"Do you trust ME?"

And I spoke the most honest thing I could think of to say to Him…

"I trust You, Lord.  But I just don't trust You to do the painless thing."

And this is what He said to that:

"Then trust Me to do the right thing."

I was rather floored by that.

I spent the rest of the drive really pondering.  What is trust?  And why do I have this latent "mis-trust" of God?  

I absolutely DO trust that He is ABLE to do all thingsevery thing – the impossible things.  I know that He is omnipotent.  Fully capable of any supernatural feat that He desires to accomplish.

I also absolutely know that BAD things often happen.  Things don't always work out.  Sometimes people aren't prevented from a terrible accident, sometimes the diagnosis is cancer, sometimes a child wanders away, sometimes a job is lost, sometimes marriages aren't saved…

Sometimes life does not work out.

And that's where I have trouble.

I know God CAN – I just don't know if He WILL.

That's where my reply came from – from having misgivings about God's responses to my prayers –  because I want to avoid pain.  And sometimes, He allows pain to happen.

But, His last reply to me was powerful.

Stern, but caring.  Firm, but comforting.

Can I trust Him to do the RIGHT thing?

Yes, I can.

I absolutely believe that He loves me, and loves my family and friends.  I do believe that He is perfectly good.  I do believe that He has a plan and a purpose that cannot be thwarted by circumstances.

God is not controlled by the inconsistencies of life.

The *ups and downs* do not dictate His wishes.  He is the One unchanging Presence in the entire Universe.

Therefore, pain does not rule.

Death and disease – the remnants of the Fall – are not God's final answer.

This is the ultimate secret to learning how to trust.  This is where faith's "rubber hits the road."  This is the core of my *heart* condition.

Do I trust GOD'S ways of accomplishing the right thing – the greatest thing – in my life?

Even if it's painful?

Evidently for me, trust is a very big CONTROL issue.

I want to avoid anxiety, to never experience pain, to have a steady and happy life…

God wants me to look like His Son.

So, my faith is pumping – yes it is.

But it needs to strengthen that pulse!  

Just as my physical heart is strengthened by exercise, so my faith heart is strengthened by trials, by struggles – and yes, by pain sometimes.

Not easy…

But I need it.

I need to learn the invaluable lesson that pain and peace are not mutually exclusive.

I need to learn that I am not in control – (evidently on this one, I'm still in elementary school…just sayin’)

I need to believe in my heart of hearts that God is truly good – all the time.

I need to trust God to always, unerringly, lovingly do the right thing.

And yes, at the end of the day, I really do trust Him for that.

After all, I do want to look like His Son…

"And they who know Your name [who have experience and acquaintance with Your mercy] will lean on and confidently put their trust in You, for You, Lord, have not forsaken those who seek (inquire of and for) You [on the authority of God's Word and the right of their necessity]." (Psalm 9:10, AMP)

"'For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,' declares the LORD.  'As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.'" 
(Isaiah 55:8-9, NIV)

When peace, like a river, attendeth my way, when sorrows like sea billows roll; whatever my lot, thou hast taught me to say, It is well, it is well with my soul.

How's your *heart* condition?  Is your faith beating strong?

Linked today with:


BLOG = "Blessedly Leaning On God!"


  1. Oh Sharon,

    I think we have been on, are still on, a very similar journey. I relate so much to your words. My prayer is Lord I believe, help thou my unbelief.

    God Bless - Nita

  2. Hi Sharon, I loved this post. I often say i trust God that He can do anything, but will He do it for me? Your question is even more spot on. Will He do it painlessly? Seriously, we have to trust that He will do the right thing. Great reminder
    God bless

  3. I could comment and fill this whole page...I won't. I think you wrote about where I am totally. I too told the Lord I trust and yet my physical self is fighting..and peace and pain..totally get that also. Thanks for writing...I am right here, right now!

  4. Our pastor yesterday said "control is just an illusion" which is really true, we have no control, though we want it (and a clearly written path what God is going to do before he does it so we can know when it is going to happen, though we know God won't be doing that any time soon :)

    I really truly do want to trust him too to do the right thing, no matter what; my heart definitely needs a bit of pumping with faith I do believe


  5. Are you me? or am I you??

    WOW Sharon, this post needs to be in a book, for women everywhere. You have hit the nail on the head and you have also given God's very wise reply to the whole trust thing. I'd say His words to were were priceless! And they are words for me as well.

    This one is a real keeper!

  6. Ah. Trusting God. Yes, I trust Him, but like you, I don't always like the direction He's going. But, still...I need to trust Him for He ALWAYS does the RIGHT thing whether I think so or not. I want to grow in this area so that as I am trusting Him, the joy in being His out-shadows everything else in my life, you know?

    Thanks for sharing your heart...

    Blessings, Joan

  7. Pain and peace are not mutually exclusive that is a selah. My heart has had highs and lows lately.

  8. Wow ~ you are right ~ the Holy Spirit was whispering the same message to us both! My word for the week was comfort and so I thought during the week about how much I try to avoid discomfort and pain, but was reminded, as you know from my post, that the absence of pain and discomfort can really be a tool of the enemy. In fact, the absense of pain may contribute to an unhealthy spiritual condition. It comes down to surrender, which is the opposite of control, which only happens when we trust. Help me Lord to be a living sacrifice ~ sacrifice, my word for THIS week!! Love you friend, and love the picture at the end of the post!

  9. As we work through our "trust" issues with God, he is faithful to hold onto us, even when it feels like we've slipped through his grasp. I'm with you on this, Sharon. I, too, have some trust issues. Rest assured, God hasn't forgotten our refinement along these lines. He won't leave it alone, and really, do we want him too?

    Keep to it.


  10. Oh, my, Sharon....this is really speaking to me in so many areas...a change coming in our worry about things. Trusting God but not always liking what comes...wanting a pain free life! I can identify so much with what you are sharing. It touched my heart today.

  11. I totally understand, love you my precious sis.

  12. Hi Sharon,
    As usual, what an awesome post! You said, "I know God CAN – I just don't know if He WILL." I have felt that many times over. I know He will do the right thing, but I sure do not want no pain. But God is always good.

  13. That is beautiful and encouraging, Sharon. And I came over to tell you I liked your guest post on Peggy's blog. Blessings ~

  14. Wow -- this is just so amazing. I mean, I know that God talks to me, but it is always confirming to here how He talks to others in much the same way. This conversation with God is such a gift for you...and for all of us.

  15. Yikes!!!! I can so relate to this. Trusting that He'll do the painless thing. I was reading about Joni Earkson this morning. When I got to the point where she got cancer I wanted to scream....why? She's already been through so much. But then I listened to her on youtube talk about the cancer with her husband and her attitude is total trust. I want that too. Praying for you Sharon....and the journey you're on I think it's for me and many others who pop by here to read. Hugs.

  16. Sharon, there have been times when I come over to your blog place to read the latest post or two, that I have the desire to pick up the phone and speak with you - heart to heart. Cause your heart goes deep, and I truly appreciate your honesty and your transparency. Like this post - it was really honest. I had goosebumps reading the conversation between you and God. And I could totally relate. I have to agree with you that even though I trust God, I sometimes fear that He will not do the things I want Him to do in answer to my prayers. So, what He said to you, to trust Him to do the right thing... that floored me too. It makes so much sense. He does not promise a painless life, but a life that will shape us and mold us to have a heart like Jesus. Thank you so much for sharing this, and hey... Happy Valentine's Day!

    Much love

  17. I'm a white chocolate sort of girl, but if you want to throw in some milk or dark chocolate that's good, too. One of my medications actually lists "may cause an increased desire for chocolate" as a side effect.

    I'm working on a trust post, too. God's been speaking and I know He wanted me to read this today.

  18. OUCH! "Do you trust me?" Yep - know this place.

    God is soooo good, though. I just completed two months of co-writing our church's spring drama. We have a pretty upscale drama ministry, and now that we're in our new building with a fancy new stage and tech equipment, we're really kicking production quality up a few. The story idea has been in the works for a year - but I finally settled on the scripture theme - Psalm 23 - over the holidays. The writing came swiftly - and in partnership with our producer/associate pastor as co-writer, we now have a script. Psalm 23 in an art gallery. No kidding. And the guiding idea - "Do you trust Me?"

    Much in that script and on that stage is an outgrowth of my walk the past two years. That's been kicked up a notch or two, too. More on all this to come - and set aside May 30, 31, of June 1 - you'll be able to see the show online - we stream live over the internet!


  19. I, too, was blessed by this post. This portion really pricked my heart:

    " I do believe that He has a plan and a purpose that cannot be thwarted by circumstances.

    God is not controlled by the inconsistencies of life."

    That last sentence should be on a wall plaque somewhere...

  20. I too can echo - Lord, I believe help my unbelief. Great post!

  21. I am right there with you. I trust him but I want him to do things without hurt and pain.I know that he will do the right thing so I need to pray for strength to get through the pain.
    Thanks for sharing.

  22. Beautiful post and blog. It's nice to meet you Sharon. I followed your link from Spiritual Sundays. Blessings. . .


"So [I] have been greatly encouraged in the midst of [my] troubles and suffering, dear brothers and sisters, because you have remained strong in your faith. It gives [me] new life to know that you are standing firm in the Lord. How [I] thank God for you!" (1 Thessalonians 3:7-9)

Thanks for your comments - it is such a joy to be sharing my journey with friends like YOU!

(NOTE: Anonymous comments will be removed. Thank you for understanding.)