I am directionally-challenged.
I admit it.
But I do not take all the blame.
Men are partly to blame because of their very confusing way of giving directions.
Why do they always tell you to turn east or west on this street, or go north or south? When I want directions, I want to know whether to turn LEFT or RIGHT! The other thing they do is to always mention distances – like "go about ½ mile before you make the turn." I want to know how many stoplights – and please give me some landmarks. You know, like turn at the VON'S market, the one next to the Denny's on the corner, across from that cute little gift shop!
You know what I mean.
At least I have no problem ASKING for directions when I don't know where I'm going - ☺
I am not aided by any convenient directional assistance either.
Eddie the Explorer does not have a Garmin…
So, I usually resort to using some online site for directions – (and most often, they give you the most indirect way to go, by the way!) I actually miss those old Thomas Guides – give me a paper map and I'm a happy camper.
It's not surprising that sometimes I get myself turned around, or find myself having to backtrack to get where I need to be.
Lately, it's not so different with my life.
The last couple of weeks especially, I have been overcome with unrelenting anxiety attacks. The familiar tingle of adrenaline has greeted me each morning – frantic insomnia has accompanied me most nights.
My mind has felt like a rat caught in a maze – turning here, running there – always trying to escape the sense of impending doom.
I've always been a Nervous Nancy – but this latest storm of anxiety has been particularly intense. Disturbing. Overwhelming. Unnerving. (LOL!)
It started with my introduction to the new role of being a part-time caretaker in my parent's life.
For one thing, I am physically exhausted. I have made so many trips down the mountain and back – each trip taking 2-3 hours, one way! – that I can almost drive in my sleep. A few times I have had to fight against that sleep, let me tell you!
But it's the onslaught of emotions that I am greeted with when I arrive that's the most tiring. Emotions from the past stirred up into flames. New emotions to fan the flames.
These emotions are not easy. They aren't comfortable. They aren't familiar.
They aren't godly.
Sure, I understand that they're probably very human. But we all know that human feelings often spring from a sinful nature.
And that's the battle.
I have found myself taken away by negative thoughts, ugly feelings.
Getting lost in them.
Zooming off on the highway of jealousy. Getting sidetracked by anger. Finding myself getting all turned around on the freeway of fear. Ending up at the dead-end of selfishness.
The enemy loves giving directions – false directions. He's like a crazed crossing guard, or an evil traffic cop – a detour that delights in sending us off on wild goose chases.
But, the saving grace is exactly that – the Saving GRACE.
So many mornings I have pleaded, "Lord, lead me today."
So many nights I have cried out, "Lord, help me find my way."
That's why I'm turning to the Lord's GPS…God's Positioning System.
I need His heavenly eyes.
For I have never needed His guidance, His direction, His perspective more.
The Narrow Way is narrow indeed.
And it's so easy to get waylaid, to get turned around, to get lost.
But, that's why we need to trust The Way, The Truth, and The Life.
He is the only One who can lead us away from our sinful nature, back into the folds of the Spirit.
Your word is a lamp to guide my feet and a light for my path.
"My child, listen to me and do as I say, and you will have a long, good life. I will teach you wisdom's ways and lead you in straight paths. When you walk, you won't be held back; when you run, you won't stumble. Take hold of my instructions; don't let them go. Guard them, for they are the key to life."
(Proverbs 4:10-13, NLT)
How do you need the Lord's *direction* lately?
Linked today with:
Joan at SHARING HIS BEAUTY
Michelle at HEAR IT ON SUNDAY, USE IT ON MONDAY
Hazel at TELL ME A TRUE STORY
Darlene at TITUS 2SDAY
Jen at UNITE
Barbie at WEEKEND BREW
Tracy at WINSOME WEDNESDAY
Charlotte at SPIRITUAL SUNDAYS
BLOG = "Blessedly Leaning On God!"