I am directionally-challenged.
I admit it.
But I do not take all the blame.
Men are partly to blame because of their very confusing way of giving directions.
Why do they always tell you to turn east or west on this street, or go north or south? When I want directions, I want to know whether to turn LEFT or RIGHT! The other thing they do is to always mention distances – like "go about ½ mile before you make the turn." I want to know how many stoplights – and please give me some landmarks. You know, like turn at the VON'S market, the one next to the Denny's on the corner, across from that cute little gift shop!
You know what I mean.
At least I have no problem ASKING for directions when I don't know where I'm going - ☺
I am not aided by any convenient directional assistance either.
Eddie the Explorer does not have a Garmin…
So, I usually resort to using some online site for directions – (and most often, they give you the most indirect way to go, by the way!) I actually miss those old Thomas Guides – give me a paper map and I'm a happy camper.
It's not surprising that sometimes I get myself turned around, or find myself having to backtrack to get where I need to be.
Lately, it's not so different with my life.
The last couple of weeks especially, I have been overcome with unrelenting anxiety attacks. The familiar tingle of adrenaline has greeted me each morning – frantic insomnia has accompanied me most nights.
My mind has felt like a rat caught in a maze – turning here, running there – always trying to escape the sense of impending doom.
I've always been a Nervous Nancy – but this latest storm of anxiety has been particularly intense. Disturbing. Overwhelming. Unnerving. (LOL!)
It started with my introduction to the new role of being a part-time caretaker in my parent's life.
For one thing, I am physically exhausted. I have made so many trips down the mountain and back – each trip taking 2-3 hours, one way! – that I can almost drive in my sleep. A few times I have had to fight against that sleep, let me tell you!
But it's the onslaught of emotions that I am greeted with when I arrive that's the most tiring. Emotions from the past stirred up into flames. New emotions to fan the flames.
These emotions are not easy. They aren't comfortable. They aren't familiar.
They aren't godly.
Sure, I understand that they're probably very human. But we all know that human feelings often spring from a sinful nature.
And that's the battle.
I have found myself taken away by negative thoughts, ugly feelings.
Getting lost in them.
Zooming off on the highway of jealousy. Getting sidetracked by anger. Finding myself getting all turned around on the freeway of fear. Ending up at the dead-end of selfishness.
Lost.
The enemy loves giving directions – false directions. He's like a crazed crossing guard, or an evil traffic cop – a detour that delights in sending us off on wild goose chases.
But, the saving grace is exactly that – the Saving GRACE.
So many mornings I have pleaded, "Lord, lead me today."
So many nights I have cried out, "Lord, help me find my way."
That's why I'm turning to the Lord's GPS…God's Positioning System.
I need His heavenly eyes.
For I have never needed His guidance, His direction, His perspective more.
The Narrow Way is narrow indeed.
And it's so easy to get waylaid, to get turned around, to get lost.
But, that's why we need to trust The Way, The Truth, and The Life.
He is the only One who can lead us away from our sinful nature, back into the folds of the Spirit.
Yup…
Recalculating.
 |
Your word is a lamp to guide my feet and a light for my path. |
"My child, listen to me and do as I say, and you will have a long, good life. I will teach you wisdom's ways and lead you in straight paths. When you walk, you won't be held back; when you run, you won't stumble. Take hold of my instructions; don't let them go. Guard them, for they are the key to life."
(Proverbs 4:10-13, NLT)
How do you need the Lord's *direction* lately?
Linked today with:
Joan at SHARING HIS BEAUTY
Michelle at HEAR IT ON SUNDAY, USE IT ON MONDAY
Hazel at TELL ME A TRUE STORY
Darlene at TITUS 2SDAY
Jen at UNITE
Barbie at WEEKEND BREW
Tracy at WINSOME WEDNESDAY
Charlotte at SPIRITUAL SUNDAYS
BLOG = "Blessedly Leaning On God!"
As a fellow directional challenged individual I can most certainly relate Sharon. A while back I purchased me a GPS and what a joy its been to have. Don't know why I took so long to purchase it. Which is very similar to how I feel at times with God, I don't why I spend so much time trying to figure out things when He can point me in the right direction, if only I listen
ReplyDeleteOh you are a gift of GOD to me today! Not the driving directions part: my brother taught me all kinds of ways to give and take directions when he helped teach me to drive at 15/16. I give landmarks, L/R directions, and sometimes compass points. In Boston they only give landmarks! (because the street signs fall off in the snow) It's odd. Anyway, your point is well made.
ReplyDeleteI am going to join you in asking for God's Positioning System!
I too have a parent (Parkinson's with dementia) to care for, but in my home, with a 12 1/2 year old daughter. Feeling a bit whacked!! I didn't know that waking suddenly to pray hard was part of anxiety attack; thanks for describing and validating that. My dad's been with us for 5 good years, but this spring he's started declining and the days are just unknown: is he going to be okay, or need constant attention? What about my daughter; is she going to be happy or need constant attention? My husband is usually in the happy category and he's a dear at showing me compassion when the burden just seems too great.
Sharon, I will pray for you. Especially that you're driving so far to care for your folks. That Jesus pours grace like oil over each of you and heals old wounds, restores hearts. For me too: self-control that we live in love instead of fighting for what we think we need all the time.
I can relate on many levels, dear Sharon. I have suffered from anxiety attacks in the past and know how horrible they can be. I also know that you can be gloriously delivered from them, as I was. I will pray for you.
ReplyDeleteI am also directionally challenged. My husband kids me by saying that I wake up in a new world every morning! And I agree that all men give strange driving directions including my wonderful husband.
I cared for my precious parents the last ten years of their lives and no matter how much we love our folks it is a hard job. So, I will pray for you in that respect as well.
Love,
Sandy
Another good one Sharon, another one that I relate to in some many ways. Love the way you say re calculating - yes I need that too.
ReplyDeleteTotally understand, love you.
ReplyDeleteExcellent post, Sharon. Such good analogies!
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing at "Tell Me a Story." The pathway is difficult when having to care for those who are not so receptive as we would like them to be. After all, we are tired too, and not as old as we once were, and we have feelings too and bla bla bla (that is me doing all the tired stuff. May God give you added strength to do the difficult tasks that are necessary. We had my mother in our household for two years, before my husband's blood pressure would get so high when she would walk the house at night without her walker and cane. Fortunately her house that we sold was enough to provide assisted living care for her in a place with kind and loving nurses.
ReplyDeleteEvery day I find myself asking God it guide me, lead me, and steer me away from negative thoughts. You are I are going through similar circumstances... I know this is where God wants me to serve right now, but sometimes I get frustrated, tired and irritable. But, God is carrying me through and pointing me in the right direction. Each time I'm at a dead-end, He leads me back on the right road. Blessings, Sharon. I'm praying for you!
ReplyDeleteIn Him, Joan
You are in one of those difficult chapters Sharon. I never knew how hard it would be when my parents health began to go, it's demanding, taxing, and emotionally draining. We love them so much, and they always took care of US, now we are in a role that's reversed, and it is just hard. God does know that, and His promises cover even these days, as you already know. I will be praying for your own strength, physically, mentally and most of all spiritually. One step at a time...
ReplyDeleteBig hugs!
Visiting from Michelle's. I loved your post and grateful to find my way here. "He is the only One who can lead us away from our sinful nature, back into the folds of the Spirit." Amen!
ReplyDeleteBlessings to you,
Beth
So many times in my earlier years I heard the Spirit whisper: Turn around when possible"...but I kept going my merry way with disregard for the RIGHT way...very thankful that the recalculation was persistent!
ReplyDeletePraying for wisdom and special guidance as you go thru this season with your parents...I, too, am traveling this path...and He is always faithful to hear my midnight cries and dry my tears as He walks every step with me...
I totally agree with needing "God's Positioning System".
ReplyDeleteI know my area very well since I worked in the zoning department, and I use the N,S,E,W.
But, put me into a new place with heavy traffic with many lanes...and I am lost and scared!
That is how my life is...I can only take things slowly and when it speeds up I become disoriented easily.
I have anxiety sometimes for no good reason. I try to walk it off (this helps to quiet the nerves quickly).
When your body is tired that is when the enemy attacks!
I'm praying for you,
~Blessings and love~ Lisa
Wonderful post from the beginning to the end. I love the last part about "recalculating". Just perfect! As you know, I'm in need of heavenly GPS these days. I spent an entire day with a friend yesterday (the reason I'm late...) Between taking her for a medical procedure and waiting for it and taking her home, we had a lot of time to talk. We talked a LOT about that very topic. Then, I had the same conversation with Denise this morning. Clearly, it's on my mind. I love the reminder from you that sometimes it really is time to recalculate. Sometimes, you have just made a whopper of a bad turn and need to listen to the One who knows the way around things.
ReplyDeleteBut now... don't give me a paper map. I can't make heads or tails of them unless I flip them upside down. That's a fact, Jack.
I am so sorry to hear you are struggling with the stressing role of caretaker and anxiety attacks.....sleepless nights and more. Ugh. You are right on track with having God be your GPS ......wow, we all need that. Lifting you in prayer, Sharon.
ReplyDeleteAmen...I totally get this! And yes, the lizard built my faith..which I had prayed for that day also, please Lord give me more faith.
ReplyDeleteBlessings and prayers as you walk this journey.
Sometimes, anxiety is overwhelming. We MUST lean on God. MUST!
ReplyDeleteI pray that God will continue to guide you and you will be able to overcome these anxiety attacks. Your post is a great way for you to remind yourself of truths while sharing those same truths with the rest of us. Thanks.
ReplyDeleteFirst Sharon...your writing is amazing. I so get what you're saying and have felt what you described. Me too...praying for God to show you clearly the directions you need but more than that...to give you hope and faith and peace in abundance. The thing I'm learning about faith....is to trust when there's nothing. To hope when everything seems out of control....to believe against the odds.
ReplyDeleteAnd the absolute neat thing....He's there driving down that mountain with you. He's there lying in bed whispering His presence as you do the thing that is so loving - caring for your parents. It's tough...it's hard....but I know tons of people who don't look out for their aging parents. Way to go for stepping on the right path....
Even in your hurt...you inspire me. Stay strong okay...and brave. In your corner....and praying.
God's GPS will show us the way! Thanks for sharing at "Tell Me a Story."
ReplyDelete