Do you remember that song by Michael Jackson – Man in the
Mirror?
"I'm starting with the man
in the mirror,
I'm asking him to change
his ways…"
So, the other day I took a good look at myself in the
mirror, and I'm thinking about making some changes.
No, I'm not getting plastic surgery.
Though I am wildly tempted when I see those commercials for
The Lifestyle Lift.
However, with my luck, something would go wrong. The doctor would probably nick a nerve,
and I would be left with a permanent twitch – which would be interpreted by
people as a wink – which would then result in multitudes of 60-year-old men
following me home.
Or…
The doctor might sever a small muscle in my face, and I
would be left with half of my face frozen – which would make people wonder why
I was mad or sad all the time – even though they sometimes wonder that now –
but I like to have the *option* of smiling.
I'M. JUST. SAYIN'.
However, I'm not getting plastic surgery.
But I have taken a good long look in the mirror.
It hasn't been pretty.
For the most part, I usually think that I'm a pretty good
disciple of Jesus. I'm following
Him closely, doing my devotionals, reading my Bible, attending church, praying…thinking
I'm looking like Him more and more.
But lately, when I've looked in the mirror – I've seen the
cracks in my spiritual armor.
Wanna know what I've seen?
Petty Jealousy.
Suspicious mistrust.
Bitter anger.
Judgmental attitude.
Grudge-holding.
Snide comments.
Unkind thoughts.
I could add more, but I am so embarrassed to admit even these
things. Sure, certain
circumstances are taxing my strength right now – they're trying my patience –
they're testing my ability to cope.
But honestly, coming face-to-face with the deeper layers of
sin in my heart has been excruciating.
I've lived in my new mountain home for a year
now – and I can honestly say that I've never grown in my faith as much as I
have in this last year.
I feel like God has been removing my "props" – shaving off
the things that have always made me feel secure. Friendships have faltered, familiar places have
disappeared. My parents are
getting older – my dad has even begun to forget who I am from time to time.
It's all been very hard.
But now, the Lord is pruning even more of the ugly branches
off my sin-filled tree. He isn't
content with me being a pretty good disciple – He wants me to look like
Him…really.
Evidently, He doesn't just want to change me – He wants to
refine me.
I looked up the process of refining in Wikipedia. I read this:
"Refining consists of purifying an impure material…in refining, the final material is usually identical
chemically to the original one, only it is purer."
I got to pondering that.
God's refining work doesn't destroy me – it just makes me
purer.
I like the sound of that.
I have not enjoyed seeing the truth about me – the deeper
truth. The things that I really
didn't know were lurking under the surface until certain circumstances brought
them out.
My mirror image needs some work.
And yet, I wonder at the Lord's timing. It's like I feel like I somehow just graduated from elementary school, only to find out that He wants me to go to
college! Does He think I'm ready
for this? Is He thinking that it's
time for me to die a little more (a lot) to my self?
Yes, I think that's exactly what He's thinking.
I've been quite chagrined, mortified, ashamed to see these snaky, black, and
ugly sins crop up inside of me.
How could I have not known they were there?
"'The human heart is the most deceitful of all things, and
desperately wicked. Who really knows how bad it is? But I, the LORD, search all hearts and examine secret motives.'" (Jeremiah 17:9-10, NLT)
And so, at this time in my life, God has decided to burn
these things out of me.
Cost of discipleship.
High cost indeed.
But worth the priceless treasure of knowing God in an even
more intimate way.
Worth the priceless treasure of being a reflection of His Son.
Worth the priceless treasure of ridding myself of sins that I didn't even know I harbored deep within.
Worth the priceless treasure of being a reflection of His Son.
Worth the priceless treasure of ridding myself of sins that I didn't even know I harbored deep within.
Worth the priceless treasure of refined gold…
"Put me on trial, LORD, and cross-examine me. Test my motives and my heart." (Psalm 26:2, NLT)
"Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life." (Psalm 139:23-24, NLT)
"'I will bring that group through the fire and make them pure. I will refine them like silver and purify them like gold.'" (Zechariah 13:9, NLT)
"Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life." (Psalm 139:23-24, NLT)
"'I will bring that group through the fire and make them pure. I will refine them like silver and purify them like gold.'" (Zechariah 13:9, NLT)
What does God want to *refine* in you?
Linked today with:
Joan at SHARING HIS BEAUTY
Michelle at HEAR IT ON SUNDAY, USE IT ON MONDAY
Hazel at TELL ME A TRUE STORY
Darlene at TITUS 2SDAY
Tracy at WINSOME WEDNESDAY
Charlotte at SPIRITUAL SUNDAYS
(SIDENOTE: I hope all you former Google Reader readers out there find a way to find me! I cherish your company as we walk out this journey called LIFE!)
BLOG = "Blessedly Leaning On God!"
Linked today with:
Joan at SHARING HIS BEAUTY
Michelle at HEAR IT ON SUNDAY, USE IT ON MONDAY
Hazel at TELL ME A TRUE STORY
Darlene at TITUS 2SDAY
Tracy at WINSOME WEDNESDAY
Charlotte at SPIRITUAL SUNDAYS
(SIDENOTE: I hope all you former Google Reader readers out there find a way to find me! I cherish your company as we walk out this journey called LIFE!)
BLOG = "Blessedly Leaning On God!"
Hi Sharon - Hey - you and me both! Refining - and what about that bit where He's "removing your props" - in my case it is LITERALLY! I've been dilly-dallying about getting into the basement this past week and starting the GREAT PURGE of PROPS and COSTUMES and many familiar things that have been a part of my "career" these past ten years. A new page - new chapter - new volume, I think. Can't go forward dragging the baggage from backward. And - that list of snaky black things hits home. Yes - they come slithering through my thoughts - and perhaps picnic in my heart - but the Lord has been rather unrelenting in the rod and staff department. So grateful that He has! Not that it's been pleasant - but goodness and beauty is the fruit and what I will choose to meditate upon in the midst of all this furniture re-arranging. Hmmmmm . . . I wrote a post about that the first month I was blogging - two years ago. May be time for a re-post . . .
ReplyDeleteJourneying together - separated only by miles,
Kathy
"...but the Lord has been rather unrelenting in the rod and staff department."
DeleteThis totally made me laugh - but in an empathetic "oh how I get it" kind of way!
GOD BLESS!
I always appreciate your honesty, Sharon, as you share what's going on in your walk with the Lord. So often I'm right there with you so I know exactly where you're coming from.
ReplyDeleteAnd I'm sure everyone who follows your blog will keep up with it, Google Reader or not. I know I am.
Blessings~
Oh, how I relate to much of this. Scripture has taken on new meaning, judgement has seemed nearer and well I don't think I will say more now, maybe a blog for another time. Thank you for sharing so eloquently and openly, you always write so well.
ReplyDeleteGod Bless
Yes, we all need to take that extra look in the mirror at times. Refining, restoration, renewal will get us closer to His image. Thank you for sharing at "Tell me a Story."
ReplyDeleteVery though provoking post Sharon! God has been refining me and doing a lot of inner healing this year in my life....and God is so gentle and loving in His pruning.
ReplyDeleteJust when we think we've graduated a bit, God shows us there is much more learning to do. The pruning and cleaning never feels good.
ReplyDeleteYou said in this post sweet sis, what I am feeling. thanks for sharing your heart, love you.
ReplyDeleteStanding RIGHT THERE staring at the mirror with you! I honestly think it helps to know that others face the same struggles. The simple fact is that we're not perfect and holy. On this earth, only one fully God/fully man ever was. The fact that you see those things, things that others might mark as insignificant, isn't a bad thing. It's a good one. It's an excellent one, in fact.
ReplyDeleteI'm studying Proverbs right now with my peeps in Bible study. One of the things that God keeps drumming into me the more I study is the fact that the first mark of wisdom is the desire to be corrected. You are a wise bird, Sharon. You are unwilling to except in you that which doesn't glorify Him. Rejoice.
And then move over, I'm trying to get a better look at myself and those green eyes of envy that I'm trying to correct.
It is always a good idea to do an inventory of ourselves...to "look in the mirror" as you put it! For me, I find that if I don't do an inventory on a regular basis, those sinful behaviors and attitudes that I hate rise up and rear their ugly heads! I am so thankful that God will wash me clean every time! Thanks for your transparency, Sharon!
ReplyDeleteBlessings, Joan
mirror mirror on the wall
ReplyDeleteSharon's blog has said it all
here we stand as we view our face
grateful that the truth is covered with grace.
i loved this Sharon... speaks to every one of us!
My refinement? Oh mercy, in what area of my life is he not taking a long look and driving me to my knees therein? This has been a hard shaping season; the results aren't in yet, but I'm choosing to believe that the difficult work of these last few months is leading me to a stronger obedience and a faithful heart. Prayers for God's strength, visioning, and joy to be yours this night, sister.
ReplyDeleteSounds like it's been a pruning season for you. That is so exciting! I know that God will lead you along the right ways so you can be more and more a leader for him.
ReplyDeleteHang in there! We've all felt the same way...it gets better :)
Peace in Christ,
Ceil
Somedays I just wanna cover up all those mirrors!
ReplyDeleteThe Lord has been leading me into a time of inner reflection too...He is showing me the branches of my life that need some pruning in order for there to be more fruit. Just like my rose of Sharon tree...after eight years of glorious blooming...it has stopped because it has grown too big.
The mirror shows a person caught between yesterday and tomorrow...I am not who I was, and not who I am to be...yet.
But I am to be patient because God is not finished with me yet ;)
~Blessings and love, Lisa
OK! While I'm reading, I'm making notes of the things I like here: "God's refining work doesn't destroy me~it only makes me purer." I like that thought. I guess I'm afraid of winding up in shambles as He has His will in my life instead of me having my will. Yikes~talk about admissions. Look what you started. Dare I read any further?
ReplyDeleteOh, the heart is deceitful above all else. I am so glad only God can see what lies within my heart. And I'm so stubborn about submitting to that pruning process. Maybe that's why it takes so long in me!
I guess I can only look in that mirror with the Lord's comforting arm around me~or I might wilt, give up, or just die on the spot.
Thank you for telling me all that it is worth. And giving me the beautiful image of pure white snow. Maybe I can really reflect Him to others.
Terrific post, Sharon. Deep and thoughtful as always.
Blessings,
Janis
I love blogs where the author is transparent,and you are.. Great post! Thoughtful, inspiring, and honest.. :)
ReplyDelete(Visiting from Winsome Wednesday blog hop. renslilyblog.blogspot.com)
Excellent post, Sharon. I have been seeing the same ugly side of myself lately and I am truly sick of it. Praying for God do some weeding and pruning so I can grow again.
ReplyDeleteWere we separated at birth? But you got the writing skills? I'm going to read this post more than once...yes I could see my sin in my own mirror too. Thank you for your honesty, it made my look at myself a bit more clearly too...as much as I have wanted a "lifestyle lift" too...I'd rather see myself refined to reflect Christ more. And that is more than skin deep.
ReplyDelete