ONLY SKIN DEEP

The other day "The Hub" and I had to go to the dermatologist.

And since we live almost an hour away from his office, we scheduled back-to-back appointments.

We made the long, twisty trip – and stepped out into an oven.

I don't know how hot it was – well over 100 degrees – but if I'd had an egg handy, I'm sure it would have fried, in my hand.

We were early for our appointments, but opted to go and sit inside where the cooling A/C wafted over our sweat-covered brows and reminded us of an oasis.  (Poetic touch…nice, huh?!)

As we waited, I looked around at the people surrounding us.

This day there was a good across-the-board representation of all ages.

Usually there's a preponderance of middle-aged people in various stages of *skin repair.*

I've put them into categories…

There are the people who have spent way too many hours in the sun – just like "The Hub” and I – and have the marks and bumps and discolorations to prove it.  This is the consultation and check-up crowd.

Then there are the people who have had some sort of procedure to fix the various marks and bumps and discolorations.  Trust me, people, we've seen some gnarly looking bandages and some Frankenstein-worthy stitches!

Finally, there are the ladies (and the occasional gentleman) with obvious (mostly well done) plastic surgery and injections of various fillers.

May the Lord forgive me, but I always seem to judge.

Besides the fact that plastic surgery is very expensive, I am way too afraid to have anything done on me!  I would be the unfortunate soul with numbness, or residual twitching, or hardness, or scarring, or any number of "Wow, that usually doesn't happen" complications.

Now don't get me wrong, I respect anyone's right to plastic surgery, and if you've had some done yourself, you go for it!

But I will never understand what makes anyone think that giant lips or a frozen face or a perpetually surprised expression is attractive.  Just my opinion…


OK, so finally we're ushered into the examining room, after politely being asked whether we'd like to be seen separately.  I am tempted to say that we'd rather not be seen at all, but I keep my thoughts to myself.

It's a *full skin check* day, so there's disrobing involved.

OK, no big deal, it's not like "The Hub" and I are showing off anything we haven't seen before.  But still, in a doctor's office, it all feels a little weird.

My appointment was first, so I got to sit on the examining chair.

"The Hub" sat across from me in another chair.

As I looked over at him, and then looked down at myself, I started laughing.

"What's so funny?" he asked me.

"Look at us.  Here we are in our matching hospital gowns, nude as the day we were born.  What a pair we make!" I chuckled.

He started laughing, too.

That's when I made the comment, "Wow, living large!"

I just could not stop laughing.


All things considered, I like the fact that "The Hub" and I go to all our doctors' appointments together.  I like having him with me to make sure that I get all my questions answered, and that I have all the follow-up instructions accurate and complete.

And truthfully, I get very nervous at doctor's appointments, so it's nice to have some back-up along.

I think he takes me along so that I hear all the information first-hand. That way he doesn't have to deal with my million questions when he gets home…

"Did you ask about…?"

"What did he tell you to…?"

"Why didn’t you remember to say…?"


So it's nice to bond over appointment time (???)

However, I have noticed in all my medical travels that it's usually middle-aged and older people that travel together.  I know my parents never went to an appointment alone.

Retirement at its best??

So, sitting there in that examining room, in our matching gowns, waiting to have our marks, bumps, and discolorations checked out, I felt kinda old.

How on earth did this happen?

The years keep piling on, and I keep aging, but inside I feel much the same as I did a good long time ago.

It's one of time's mysteries, I think.


So finally the doctor came in.

And, like a mad scientist with his bug-sized goggles on, he inspected me from head-to-toe.

Randomly and rapidly, without any warning, he took his trusty little canister of liquid nitrogen and zapped several *things* on my body.  (This is called cryotherapy – I think because it hurts and makes you shed a tear or two).

Then it was "The Hub's" turn – he got zapped, too.

The doctor shook our hands – thank you, Igor – and left the room.

The kind nurse assistant asked if we'd like her to leave while we put our clothes back on.  We told her that we didn't care if she stayed, as long as she didn't laugh.

I thought I heard a snicker, but it might just have been her clearing her throat??

And as "The Hub" and I paid the bill, I looked at our blistered bodies and thought to myself, once again, "What a pair we make…"


On the drive home, I got to thinking about skin.

Skin is really an amazing thing.

Here's some fun facts:

1. It's the body's largest organ.

2. An average adult's skin spans 21 square feet, weighs nine pounds, and contains more than 11 miles of blood vessels.

3. In one square inch of skin there are 625 sweat glands and 90 oil glands. There are also 19 million cells, 19 feet of blood vessels, 19,000 sensory cells, 65 hairs, and about one million pores.  Best of all, 20 million microscopic animals, such as mites, live in each square inch.  (I am the hostess with the mostest??)

4. Every inch of your skin has an exact stretchiness and strength for its location.

5. Your skin performs a range of different functions, which include physically protecting your bones, muscles and internal organs, and protecting your body from outside diseases.

6. Skin plays an important role in regulating body temperature, allowing you to feel and react to heat and cold and using blood to regulate your body heat. Your skin acts as your body's thermostat.

7. The skin releases as much as three gallons of sweat a day in hot weather. (Areas that don't sweat include the nail bed, the margins of the lips, and the eardrums).

8. Body odor comes from a second kind of sweat – a fatty secretion – and the odor is caused by bacteria on the skin eating and digesting those fatty compounds.  (Yum…)

9. A fetus doesn't develop fingerprints until three months' gestation.  Some people never develop fingerprints at all.

10. Your skin regenerates itself, shedding its dead skin cells on a daily basis, creating a new layer of skin every 28 days.

11. Your skin sheds 50,000 cells every minute.

12. Globally, dead skin accounts for about a billion tons of dust in the atmosphere.  (OK, this is just disgusting.  Forget global warming, global shedding is a much more serious problem, eh?!)

13. There are at least five types of receptors in the skin that respond to pain and to touch.

14. All mammals have some hair on their skin, even if it isn't easy for you to see.  And some animals have very thick skin – for example, a rhinoceros’ skin can be as thick as ½" – 2".  (However, though a rhino may be thick-skinned, I wouldn’t tease him, just sayin').


Those are some fun physical facts, but there is a spiritual fact that is also true.

While we live on this earth, our skin is like the body's *house.*

It's a temporary abode for all the things that make us who we are.

The Bible calls our body a *tent* – and I can think of no more apt description for our skin – a covering that shelters us for a time, until we return home.

For indeed, there will come a day when we leave this body and go to be with Jesus.

Listen to the words of Paul:

"For we know that when this earthly tent we live in is taken down (that is, when we die and leave this earthly body), we will have a house in heaven, an eternal body made for us by God himself and not by human hands.  We grow weary in our present bodies, and we long to put on our heavenly bodies like new clothing.  For we will put on heavenly bodies; we will not be spirits without bodies.  While we live in these earthly bodies, we groan and sigh, but it's not that we want to die and get rid of these bodies that clothe us.  Rather, we want to put on our new bodies so that these dying bodies will be swallowed up by life.  God himself has prepared us for this, and as a guarantee he has given us his Holy Spirit." (2 Corinthians 5:1-5, NLT)


I love the imagery of putting on the new body like clothing – and I think of the concept of literally putting on new skin!

Yes, for the time being, my body and my skin ages, and needs a lot more attention than it used to.

And yes, there are days when I groan inside of it.

But these sufferings are only temporary, for there is a day coming when my perishable will put on imperishable, and I will live forever!

Can you even imagine?!


The freedom!

The rejuvenation!

The energy!

The glory!


Yes, in so many ways, this life is only *skin deep*...




What reminds you that this life is only temporary?

Walking home...

"He remembered that they were but flesh, a wind that passes and comes not again." (Psalm 78:39, ESV)

"How do you know what your life will be like tomorrow?  Your life is like the morning fog – it's here a little while, then it's gone." (James 4:14, NLT)

"All go to the same place; all come from dust, and to dust all return." (Ecclesiastes 3:20, NIV)

"All these people died still believing what God had promised them.  They did not receive what was promised, but they saw it all from a distance and welcomed it.  They agreed that they were foreigners and nomads here on earth." (Hebrews 11:13, NLT)

"But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us." (2 Corinthians  4:7, ESV)

"Yes, we are fully confident, and we would rather be away from these earthly bodies, for then we will be at home with the Lord." (2 Corinthians 5:8, NLT)

"So is it with the resurrection of the dead.  What is sown is perishable; what is raised is imperishable.  It is sown in dishonor; it is raised in glory.  It is sown in weakness; it is raised in power.  It is sown a natural body; it is raised a spiritual body.  If there is a natural body, there is also a spiritual body." 
(1 Corinthians 15:42-44, ESV)

"For the trumpet will sound…and we shall be changed.  For this perishable body must put on the imperishable, and this mortal body must put on immortality. When the perishable puts on the imperishable, and the mortal puts on immortality, then shall come to pass the saying that is written:

'Death is swallowed up in victory.
O death, where is your victory?
O death, where is your sting?'"

(1 Corinthians 15:52-55, ESV)


"He will give eternal life to those who keep on doing good, seeking after the glory and honor and immortality that God offers." (Romans 2:7, NLT)

"For God so greatly loved and dearly prized the world that He [even] gave up His only begotten (unique) Son [as Savior], so that whoever believes in (trusts in, clings to, relies on) Him shall not perish (come to destruction, be lost) but have eternal (everlasting) life." (John 3:16, AMP)

"Jesus said…'I am the resurrection and the life.  The one who believes in me will live, even though they die; and whoever lives by believing in me will never die.'" (John 11:25-26, NIV)

"'And this is the will of God, that I should not lose even one of all those he has given me, but that I should raise them up at the last day.'" (John 6:39, NLT)

"…as for me, God will redeem my life.  He will snatch me from the power of the grave." (Psalm 49:15, NLT)

"For you have delivered my soul from death…that I may walk before God in the light of life." (Psalm 56:13, ESV)

"My desire is to depart and be with Christ, for that is far better." 
(Philippians 1:23, ESV)

"I know that my redeemer lives, and that in the end he will stand on the earth. And after my skin has been destroyed, yet in my flesh I will see God; I myself will see him with my own eyes – I, and not another.  How my heart yearns within me!" (Job 19:25-27, NIV)

"I shall walk before the LORD In the land of the living." (Psalm 116:19, NASB)




Linked with:

SMALL WONDER, MONDAY'S MUSINGS, MONDAYS AT SOUL SURVIVAL, LIFE GIVING LINKUP, GOOD MORNING MONDAYS, MONDAY OF MANY BLESSINGS, THANK GOODNESS IT'S MONDAY, THE ART OF HOMEMAKING MONDAYS, MAKING YOUR HOME SING MONDAY, MUSING MONDAY, MODEST MONDAY, MOTIVATION MONDAY, INSPIRE ME MONDAY, LIVING PROVERBS, MOM-TO-MOM MONDAYS, MOMENTS OF HOPE, GLIMPSES LINKUP, TELL ME A TRUE STORY, WONDERFUL WEDNESDAY,  TITUS 2 TUESDAY, TESTIMONY TUESDAY, TUESDAY TALK, RA RA LINKUP, TEACHING WHAT IS GOOD, INTENTIONAL TUESDAY, WISE WOMAN, TELL HIS STORY, WHOLEHEARTED WEDNESDAY, CHRISTIAN BLOGGER COMMUNITY, WORD FILLED WEDNESDAY, COFFEE FOR YOUR HEART, COFFEE & CONVERSATION, WOMEN WITH INTENTION, SITTING AMONG FRIENDS, FROM MESSES TO MESSAGES, GRACE MOMENTS, THANKFUL THURSDAYS, LIVE FREE THURSDAY, THURSDAY FAVORITE THINGS, SHINE BLOG HOP, THOUGHT-PROVOKING THURSDAY, THOUGHTFUL THURSDAYS, GRACE AT HOME, LITTLE THINGS THURSDAY, COZY READING SPOT, NO RULES WEEKEND BLOG PARTY, FROM HOUSE TO HOME, FUNTASTIC FRIDAY, FRIENDSHIP FRIDAY, EVERYDAY TESTIMONY, FAITH FILLED FRIDAY, SPIRITUAL SUNDAYS, FAITH 'N FRIENDS, MAKE MY SATURDAY, GRACE & TRUTH, DANCE WITH JESUS, FRIDAY FEATURE PARTY, TGI SATURDAYS, SMALL VICTORIES SUNDAY, WORD OF GOD SPEAK




BLOG = "Blessedly Leaning On God!"

PREP WORK

Medical tests, screenings, and procedures.

Gotta hate 'em…

Gotta…well…gotta hate 'em.

There are times when I feel like my body is a car – a little dinged up, scratched here and there, creaking and squeaking, running on empty, with fading paint and a seriously sagging bumper, and (quite often) in desperate need of some work on the chassis.

Hence, the need for periodic tests, screenings, and procedures.

And some medical stuff requires prep work ahead of time.

Like drinking foul-tasting concoctions that make you glow in the dark, or injecting radioactive stuff, or consuming inordinate amounts of water, or fasting (are you ever hungrier??), or having various body parts poked, prodded, or probed.

And, without a doubt, there will be some form of undressing involved.

Yeah.

OK, so I remember having a CAT scan several years ago, which required drinking some awful stuff that I was told would taste like cranberry juice. (Why do they always say that?  NOTHING you have to drink EVER tastes like anything palatable.  It's like saying they've flavored motor oil with a little bit of vanilla – "It'll taste like an ice cream sundae…")

Then, after placing me in the CAT scan "donut" thing, I had to have an injection of contrast dye.  A very kind nurse hooked me up to an automatic injection system, and warned me that I might feel "a little bit warm" as the dye entered my circulation.

Uh huh.

I felt the warmth fire begin to flood my veins at the same exact time that my stomach completely flipped.

Without warning…well, you know what happened.

My boys love this story.  They still tell the tale of Mom "baptizing" a machine worth several hundred thousand dollars, which was – in their terms – epic.


So, last week I had a fun little romp in Medical Land.

I did not have my best time.

Fortunately, all things turned out well…but it got me thinking.

(After all, what else are you going to do while waiting to be p, p or p??)

Sometimes the prep work is harder than the procedure.  

It takes time, it's tiring, it can make you uncomfortable, sometimes it hurts, and mostly, you just can't wait for it all to be over.

I think it's a lot like life.

We know there's something else coming – an afterlife, an eternal destiny.

And so, in many ways, this life is but a prelude, an intro, a preface.

This life is but prep work for the real thing.

And it can take time, it's tiring, it can make us uncomfortable, sometimes it hurts…and some days, you just can't wait for it all to be over.

But, just exactly what is God trying to accomplish during our journeys through this earthly life?

For if God does not waste anything (He doesn't), and if He has a purpose in everything (He does), then He is definitely up to something.


Here's what I think:


1) He's allowing us to participate in the sufferings of Christ

At first glance, I'm sorta like, that's OK…I'm good.

But I'm convinced that there's a deeper purpose to our suffering, especially when we are persecuted for the Lord's sake.  Therefore, we should count it as a privilege to suffer for the name of Jesus.  For in some way that we'll never fully understand now, I believe that this suffering prepares us for future joy, and future glory.

From Charles Ellicott's commentary:

"Such a recognition of the meaning of suffering, such a rejoicing in suffering now, is a sure means to rejoicing in glory also hereafter."

"…be very glad – for these trials make you partners with Christ in his suffering, so that you will have the wonderful joy of seeing his glory when it is revealed to all the world." (1 Peter 4:13, NLT)


2) He's making us look like His Son

Again, don't you sometimes wish God was OK with us *sorta* looking like Jesus?  That *pretty good reflections* were good enough?

Because the alternative is God working on us, reshaping us, pruning off the dead stuff, and polishing the rough edges.

OUCH.

But God, though He does not condemn us for our sin if we believe in His Son, also does not leave us in a state of "good enough."  He desires to continue His work of transformation and renewal, always working toward the perfection of His righteousness in us.

We won't see the completion of His work on this side of heaven, for sin will always tarnish, but the refining process will change us for the better, and better, and finally, for the best.

"And we all, who with unveiled faces contemplate the Lord's glory, are being transformed into his image with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit." (2 Corinthians 3:18, NIV)


3) He's providing time for us to reach others

This world has a ticking clock…

And in my opinion, it's rapidly approaching midnight.

We are told in God's Word that the world will end one day.  And though we do not know the exact time, we can recognize the beginnings…

Jesus said: "All these are but the beginning of the birth pains."
(Matthew 24:8, ESV)

I believe that we are seeing the labor pains of the beginning of the end.

And so, time is short, and people are still lost – but God is giving His people time to reach them for His sake.

We have the knowledge of the Truth that will save people – the truth that will help them, in this life and the next.  And it is incumbent that we do our very best, with the Lord's help, to spread His tidings of good news and great joy.

"The Lord is not slow about His promise, as some count slowness, but is patient…not wishing for any to perish but for all to come to repentance." 
(2 Peter 3:9, NASB)


4) He's giving us opportunities to earn rewards

Does it seem counterintuitive to you that we work for rewards?

The Bible is clear that we cannot earn our way to Heaven.  We can never do enough, or be enough, or strive enough, or perform enough to leap across the great divide that sin brings between God and us.

We are admonished against a works-based salvation.

I get that.

But what's so wonderful to me is that God does indeed promise rewards.

And I personally think it's OK to go after them!

This life offers unlimited opportunities to *store up our treasures* in Heaven. There is absolutely nothing wrong in looking forward to receiving the Crown of Life.

And there is something wonder-full in thinking about the reward of our Master saying, "Well done, good and faithful servant."

"Rejoice, and be exceeding glad: for great is your reward in heaven." 
(Matthew 5:12, KJV)


5) He's weaning us from this temporal life

It's hard to let go of this life.

After all, it's all we've ever known.

I don't know about you, but the enemy really taunts me with the fear of death.

I know where I'm going – but the father of lies is a master at insidiously wiggling anxiety into my thoughts and emotions.

Death – the Big Unknown.

And it is scary – Jesus Himself had quite a battle facing it in His own life. (Remember sweating like drops of blood?)

And yet, God would have us do exactly that – face death.

Face it with confident hope and blessed assurance.  Face it bravely with a conqueror's heart.  Face it with hallowed anticipation.  Face it with the One who died to save us, and rose again to purchase the guarantee that we will never truly die.

Weaning us from this life requires surrender.  It requires a relinquishment of our need to control.  It requires that we let go.  For if we cling to this life, we will lose it.

But if we give it up, for the sake of the One who sacrificed everything for us, we'll find it…

…and keep it forever.

"I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far…" 
(Philippians 1:23, NIV)


6) He's placing a yearning and longing in our hearts

I think C. S. Lewis said it perfectly:

"If I find in myself desires which nothing in this world can satisfy, the only logical explanation is that I was made for another world." (Mere Christianity)

This life is full of hardship.

This life is not for sissies.

And those of us who know there is something better on the other side, will often find ourselves longing for release.

Haven't you all had those moments when it seemed like life stood still?  When it seemed that every perfect emotion was captured?  When you found yourself captivated by a sense of timeless purity?  Moments when peace was tangible, and you felt transcendent?

Haven't you found those moments to be excruciatingly fleeting?

And haven't you wished that you could hold on to them forever?

We can't – not yet – and that is why we yearn.

In his book, The Journey of Desire, John Eldredge sums it up this way:

"Should the king in exile pretend he is happy there?

Should he not seek his own country?

His miseries are his ally; they urge him on.  Let them grow, if need be.  But do not forsake the secret of life; do not despise those kingly desires."

God created us with a deep longing for Himself.

He has given us a restless state of heart that can never be completely satisfied with earthly things or people.

And we spend our earthly journeys living in the exquisite tension of *in-between.*

That's OK.

We're supposed to feel that way…for we are but pilgrims, on our way home.

"…He has planted eternity in the human heart…" (Ecclesiastes 3:11, NLT)


7) He's preparing us for eternal service

The Bible isn't clear on the details of what we'll be doing in eternity.

I used to worry that I'd be bored.

I mean, really, how much harp-playing is enough?!

But, how silly to think this way.

God is so creative, so multi-faceted, so omniscient, so wise, so unfathomable – how could we possibly think that He could ever be boring??

And why would He ever subject us to infinite boredom?

I believe that we will worship Him in every way possible – unhindered, finally, by the shackles of sin.

Might He also have work for us to do?

Fulfilling, joyful, easy, productive, satisfying, worship-full work?

I wonder sometimes…

Will He continue our spiritual gifts from this life?

Will the singers sing, and the musicians play, and the writers write, and the painters paint, and the teachers teach…and on and on and on?!

Whatever He's got up His sleeve, we can count on one thing – it'll be even better than what we can think or imagine.

And it will all be for and to the glory of God!!

"…and the throne of God and of the Lamb will be in it, and His bond-servants will serve and worship Him [with great awe and joy and loving devotion]…" (Revelation 22:3, AMP)


So yeah, this life is prep work.

It takes time, it's tiring, it can make us uncomfortable, sometimes it hurts, and mostly, we just can't wait for it all to be over.

But, though it's not always pleasant, this earthly *prep work* is accomplishing good things, better things, best things – forever things.


And so, we'll persevere…

All their life in this world
and all their adventures
had only been the cover and the title page...
Now at last they were beginning
Chapter One
of the Great Story
which no one on earth has read,
which goes on forever,
in which every chapter
is better than the one before.

C. S. Lewis
"The Last Battle"

"Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom." 
(Psalm 90:12, NIV)

"'If you cling to your life, you will lose it; but if you give up your life for me, you will find it.'" (Matthew 10:39, NLT)

"So we don't look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen.  For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever."  (2 Corinthians 4:18, NLT)

"For to me, to live is Christ [He is my source of joy, my reason to live] and to die is gain [for I will be with Him in eternity]." (Philippians 1:20, AMP)

"So we do not lose heart.  Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day." (2 Corinthians 4:16, ESV)

"If a man dies, will he live again?  All the days of my hard service I will wait for my renewal to come." (Job 14:14, NIV)

"I have written this to you who believe in the name of the Son of God, so that you may know you have eternal life." (1 John 5:13, NLT)

"'Truly, truly, I say to you, whoever believes has eternal life.'" 
(John 6:47, ESV)

"…Christ has been raised from the dead.  He is the first of a great harvest of all who have died." (1 Corinthians 15:20, NLT)

"As for me, I know that my Redeemer lives, and at the last He will take His stand on the earth.  Even after my skin is destroyed, yet from my flesh I shall see God; whom I myself shall behold, and whom my eyes will see and not another.            

My heart faints within me!" (Job 19:25-27, NASB)



How's your *prep work* going?!



Linked with:

SHARING HIS BEAUTY, PLAYDATES WITH GOD, SMALL WONDER, MONDAY'S MUSINGS, MONDAYS AT SOUL SURVIVAL, LIFE GIVING LINKUP, GOOD MORNING MONDAYS, GRATEFUL HEART MONDAY, REFLECT LINKUP, THE ART OF HOMEMAKING MONDAYS, SOLI DEO GLORIA, TELL ME A TRUE STORY, TITUS 2 TUESDAY,  UNITE LINKUP, TESTIMONY TUESDAY, TUESDAY TALK, TELL IT TO ME TUESDAYS, RA RA LINKUP, FINDING STABILITY, WOMEN HELPING WOMEN, INTENTIONAL TUESDAY, TELL HIS STORY, A LITTLE R & R WEDNESDAYS, WHOLEHEARTED WEDNESDAY, WISE WOMAN, COFFEE & CONVERSATION, WAITING ON WEDNESDAY, THREE WORD WEDNESDAY, COFFEE FOR YOUR HEART, WOMEN WITH INTENTION, JOYHOPELIVE LINKUP, THE (NOT JUST) HOMEMAKING PARTY, WORD FILLED WEDNESDAY, THURSDAY FAVORITE THINGS, THOUGHT-PROVOKING THURSDAY, FROM HOUSE TO HOME, LIVE FREE THURSDAY, EVERYDAY JESUS, GRACE AT HOME, SHINE LINKUP, THOUGHTFUL THURSDAYS, LITTLE THINGS THURSDAY, LOOKING UP LINKUP, FRIENDSHIP FRIDAY, FELLOWSHIP FRIDAYS, EVERYDAY TESTIMONY, FAITH FILLED FRIDAY, SPIRITUAL SUNDAYS, FAITH 'N FRIENDS, MAKE MY SATURDAY SWEET, FAITH & FELLOWSHIP, GRACE & TRUTH, DANCE WITH JESUS, TGI SATURDAYS, STILL SATURDAY, WEEKEND WHISPERS, LIVING PROVERBS, SUNDAY STILLNESS, GIVE ME GRACE, SMALL VICTORIES SUNDAY



BLOG = "Blessedly Leaning On God!"

I MISS YOU, DAD

This week I will mark the one-year anniversary of my father's passing.

What a year.

It's interesting to me how God works.  How sometimes He prepares your heart for something in such a tangible way.  Sometime during 2012, I had a strong sense that Dad's days were numbered.

In some ways, it wasn't a huge revelation.  Dad was completely bent over, so thin and feeble.  And his mind was rapidly receding into a faraway place.  He'd had a couple of mini-strokes in the previous years, and his diabetes was taking its toll.

But still...

He was DAD.

He'd always been a large figure in my life.  Literally, at 6'3" and around 230 lbs., he was a LARGE figure!  I can remember how some of my friends were intimidated by him.

One funny story?

My dad's mother and father loved to travel.  And they brought home gifts. One year, they gave my dad a black silk robe.

Flash forward to one night when a couple of guys thought it would be "great fun" to drive up our steep driveway, ring our doorbell, and peal out.  Well, they drove up our driveway, skidded into a planter, and tore up quite a few plants that You-Know-Who had planted (Dad!)

The car's tires got stuck in the mud – spinning out of control with no traction.

Suddenly, Mr. Martial Arts himself flung open the front door!

At the same time, the car found ground, and backed up at 1,000 mph, sped down the driveway, and drag-raced down the street and out of sight.

Dad stormed out the front door and waved his fist at the departing hooligans.

Dad asked, but I never 'fessed up to who they were.

A few days later, one of the guys, a good friend, told me how very, very scared they had been!  I think they thought that Dad had earned his black belt!!  


I digress.

But this is just one of many stories when Dad's literal physical presence was such a comfort to me, such a steady source of security.  And it serves to convey how very difficult it was to see this Ivy League college graduate (who exempted all his finals), successful small business owner, one-time elder in the church, all-around BIG guy deteriorate.

And yet, as I look back, I think God was doing a merciful preparation in my heart.  I knew Dad was going…and soon.


A year ago, my dad took a terrible tumble out of bed.  

I was down visiting my parents, but somewhere else at the time.  And this day, my youngest son *just happened* to be working downstairs on a project in my dad's workshop.

I got a call from him.

"Mom, you'd better come here.  Papa fell out of bed and he's hurt really bad."

Well, yes.  He was.  Very bad.

I remember calling 911.  I remember the wailing sound of the ambulance in the distance.  I remember the unsettling and rather creepy feeling of knowing that it was coming for us.  I remember riding over to the hospital in the front seat of the ambulance.  I remember hearing Dad crying out in pain in the back.

I spent every day with him during his week in the hospital.

I went and saw him at the nursing/rehab place he was transferred to.

I got called late one night to come over.  My dad was thrashing and yelling and trying to get out of bed.  They thought that I might be able to console him.

I dashed over, settled him down, and rubbed his forehead and eyebrows until he went back to sleep.

Little did I know that these would be my last moments with him.


I was awakened at around 3:45 AM just a day and a half later, with these words:

"Is this Sharon, Mr. N's daughter?"

"Yes."

"I'm sorry, but he passed away."

The rest of the words are blurry.

I remember calling everyone in the family, waiting as everyone arrived at my parents' house.  Talking as we waited for my mother to wake up to break the news to her.  Her surprise at seeing all of us.  Me walking her back into her room to change out of her nightgown.

Watching her face begin to sense the truth.  

Hearing her words:

"Everyone's here.  That's nice.  Wait, did something happen to Dad?  Did he die?"

"Yes, Mom, he did.  It's going to be OK."

I held her.


These are just snippets from that time.  A time that came as a shock, but not a surprise.  You see, I feel that God had prepared me.  And when the moment finally arrived, I was upheld with a strength that could only have come from Him.

This week will mark the one-year anniversary of the day that my dad died. And yet, it really marks the day when he entered the presence of our Lord.

One year later, that makes all the difference!


I miss you, Dad, and I always will, until we meet again.


My poem for you, today.


I MISS YOU, DAD

Through life and death, I have seen it all
From the joy of celebration to the gray of death's pall,
And when the time came to say goodbye
There were moments when I wished that I could die.

For pain wounded sharp, with slashing blows
Bringing times when my hope was dashed so low,
Moments when the ache in my heart burned deep
Moments when the grief kept me from sleep.

But now a year later, I pause to recall
That your death wasn't death, not really at all,
For on that day when you left us behind
In truth our dear Lord was just being kind.

For He released you from the shell of decay
He brought you to Him on your homecoming day,
And though I will miss you every day that I live
I know there is a future that God has to give.

We will see each other once again I know
When in the Light of Heaven our faces glow,
And I will have joy, just as you do now
No more furrows will wrinkle my brow.

Freed by grace, enwrapped in love
One day I will join you in the sky above,
And then all my sorrow will fade and cease
For I will experience the depth of God's peace.

So until that day, Dad, I will hold you dear
And fight the battle against the power of fear,
For I know that there is something more to death
Than just the mere ending of earthly breath.

There is wonder when we reach Heaven's door
A beginning, a new start, and oh so much more,
For reality begins when we leave this land
Reality begins when God takes our hand.

Through life and death, I have seen it all
From the joy of celebration to the gray of death's pall,
But even though I've had to say goodbye
I know that truly, we will never die!


© Sharon Kirby
December 31, 2014

Do not grieve,
my dearest daughter.
We will meet
again! 

"My purpose in writing is simply this: that you who believe in God's Son will know beyond the shadow of a doubt that you have eternal life, the reality and not the illusion." (1 John 5:13, The Message)

"...in fact, Christ has been raised from the dead.  He is the first of a great harvest of all who have died...now the resurrection from the dead has begun through another man...everyone who belongs to Christ will be given new life." (1 Corinthians 15:20, 21, 22, NLT)

"And now, dear brothers and sisters, we want you to know what will happen to the believers who have died so you will not grieve like people who have no hope.  For since we believe that Jesus died and was raised to life again, we also believe that when Jesus returns, God will bring back with him the believers who have died." (1 Thessalonians 4:13-14, NLT)

"And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, 'Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man.  He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God.  He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.'  And he who was seated on the throne said, 'Behold, I am making all things new.'" (Revelation 21:3-5, ESV)


Here's the Truth that serves as the beginning and the end, the *bookends* of our HOPE:

"Jesus said, 'It is finished.'" (John 19:30, NIV)

"'It is done!  I am the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end.'" (Revelation 21:6)



How does the hope of Heaven bring peace to you today?



Linked with:

SHARING HIS BEAUTY, PLAYDATES WITH GOD, UNFORCED RHYTHMS, MONDAY'S MUSINGS, MONDAYS AT SOUL SURVIVAL, MAKE A DIFFERENCE MONDAY, GOOD MORNING MONDAYS, SOLI DEO GLORIA, TELL ME A TRUE STORY, TITUS 2 TUESDAYS, TESTIMONY TUESDAY, TUESDAY TALK, UNITE, A LITTLE R & R WEDNESDAYS, WHOLEHEARTED WEDNESDAYS, CAPTURE YOUR JOURNEY, TEACHING WHAT IS GOOD, THREE WORD WEDNESDAY, COFFEE FOR YOUR HEART, TELL HIS STORY, WISE WOMAN, COFFEE AND CONVERSATION, SO MUCH AT HOME, WORD FILLED WEDNESDAY, THOUGHT-PROVOKING THURSDAY, LITTLE THINGS THURSDAY, EVERYDAY JESUS, HEARTS FOR HOME, GRACE AT HOME, SHINE, THRIVING THURSDAY, THOUGHTFUL THURSDAYS, FRIENDSHIP FRIDAY, MISSIONAL WEEKEND, FELLOWSHIP FRIDAYS, FELLOWSHIP FRIDAY, SPIRITUAL SUNDAYS, FAITH FILLED FRIDAY, COUNTING MY BLESSINGS, MAKE MY SATURDAY SWEET, FAITH & FELLOWSHIP, A GROUP LOOK, GRACE & TRUTH, STILL SATURDAY, SATURDAY SOIREE, WEEKEND BREW, RECOMMENDATION SATURDAY, SUNDAY STILLNESS, GIVE ME GRACE



BLOG = "Blessedly Leaning On God!"

RECAP: 2014 - MY YEAR OF JOY

Word for the Year.

It's kind of a fun tradition in Blog Land.

When I first came across the idea, I liked it.  Mostly because I love words. Words have meaning and importance.  Words can shape and mold.  And so, I liked the idea of having a word that would become the *theme* of my year.

But, I wanted God to pick it.

I didn't want to "hedge my bets" and pick a word that I wanted.

I wanted Him to speak.

And He did.

In 2011, my first full year of blogging, He gave me the word: Determined. And indeed, that year was one in which I set my mind to achieve some goals (with His help, of course), and a year in which I became determined to follow Him even more closely.

In 2012, He gave me the word: Overcome.  And indeed, that year was one in which I had to overcome many things.  It was the year I moved, after 29 years living in one place, to completely new and unfamiliar surroundings.  It was a year when I overcame (with His help, of course), feelings of loneliness, and isolation, and homesickness.  A year in which I overcame obstacles that kept me from following Him even more closely.

In 2013, He gave me the word: Direction.  And indeed, that year was one in which I learned that God had a definite direction for me.  At first, I was desperate for a "direction" to go.  I wanted a ministry, an impact, a greater footprint in the world.  But, what God taught me (with His help, of course) was this – His direction was not about a path, but a Person.  It was a year that I learned the direction He had for me was, "Follow Me closer."


In 2014, I was floored by my new word.

It arrived unexpected, and if I might be so honest, unwelcome.

JOY.

I experienced great angst over the word joy, (I know – supreme irony).

Someone left me a comment on that very first post.  It hit me hard.

Her words:

"Sharon, I should probably not tell you that "joy" was my word for 2012.  I actually had a theme: 'Ain't nobody gonna steal my joy.'  And then I went on to have the toughest year of my life. 

He definitely led me back to that Scripture in James that says, 'Count it all joy when you face various trials...'"


Yes, her words resonated strongly with me.

For two things immediately came to my mind when I heard the word JOY.

The first was this:

"Really, Lord?  Me??  Joy?  You do know who I am, right?"

You see, I am not known by my happy-go-lucky, constantly upbeat, optimistically rose-colored look at the world.  Ask my family, they most often know me as a doomsday what-iffer, a woe-is-me grumbler, a glass-half-empty-when-I-can-even-see-a-glass pessimist.

A Nervous Nellie, and a Nora Naysayer.

And so, this word did not feel good.  It felt just like my jeans do lately.  Too tight, uncomfortable, pinching in all the wrong places.  And, quite frankly, just like my jeans lately, I had no interest in putting on the garb of Joy.

Which leads me to my second thought.

I figured that God has a way of teaching you things in unusual ways.  If you want more faith, He'll probably bring you more trials.  If you want more patience, He'll probably litter your path with frustrating circumstances and aggravating people.

And so I figured that if God was going to teach me about Joy, He was probably going to do it through pain.

Little did I know that the very same day my *announcement post* published, Monday, January 6th, my journey of Joy was indeed going to begin with pain.

That is the day that my father fell, badly, and ended up in the hospital.

And just ten days later, he died.

The words of that very wise commenter echoed inside of me.

Indeed, this was going to be a very difficult and painful year.

I remember looking at the heavens and asking God, "Why did You give me this word?  Why are You testing me so soon?"

Truthfully?  Sometimes I just want to stay off the enemy's radar.  I don't want to learn the tough lessons.

And though I might have roused myself to want to learn about Joy, I did NOT want to learn it in this way.

But God…He has other plans, other ways.

And in them we must rest.


So, here I am, almost a full year later.  And I would like to share some of my thoughts on the word JOY.

I hope I have learned His lessons well.


1) Joy is not happiness.

This might seem like a "duh" thought.  I have always known this concept to be a fact, at least intellectually.  But, learning this truth internally, in the very depths of my heart, had to be learned when I felt sad, when I was singularly unhappy, when I was grieving.  Joy had to be something deeper, or it would die, a victim of outside circumstances just like happiness perishes at the whim of turmoil and strife.  I had to find out that there was something more powerful than the fleeting experience of happiness.

Lo and behold, JOY was there.


2) Joy is not a feeling at all.

This was a big revelation.  I knew that joy was not happiness, but I still thought it was something that would emerge in the realm of my emotions. What I ended up finding out is that it is instead a frame of mind.  A chosen path of my will.  It is a position we take, in spite of the onrush of overwhelming and indiscriminate feelings that wash and crash upon the shores of our hearts.  I had to let go of my emotions.

Lo and behold, JOY was there.


3) Joy is revealed when we least feel like feeling it.

Yup.  As I said before, I did not want this word.  And certainly, I did not want to feel it when I wasn't *feeling it*.

Some of the moments in this year's journey?   Spooning food into my dad's mouth.  Trying to speak sense to a man who had fallen deep into dementia. Rubbing his brow, trying to return him, amidst thrashing and yelling, back to sleep.  Getting a call at 3:45 AM to tell me he was gone.  A funeral.  Going through his things.  Seeing his shoes under his workbench.  Caring for an increasingly helpless and confused mother.  Doing mindless and tiresome and menial chores.  Mourning the loss of "what was."  Confusion, confrontation, conflict.

There have been countless other things, too.  Personal stuff, financial stuff, health stuff.  Stuff that has brought the most brutal anxiety that I have ever felt.  Days when I thought I could not take another step.  Nights when I could not sleep.

Lo and behold, JOY was there.


4) Joy is not about us.

Uh, yeah.  One thing I learned is how much work God still needs to do inside of me to rid me of ME!  I truly thought that this whole joy journey was going to be about me.  Changing and re-forming me.  Shaping me.  Refining me. Transforming me.  And in many ways, this is what the journey was about, for sure.  But, at the end of the day, joy is not about me.  It's about Jesus.  He is the Source, and the Fount, and the Continuing River of Joy.

I learned that JOY is all about this one unchanging fact in my life.

Jesus, Only You.

And when I got my focus off of myself, and instead fixed my eyes upon the Savior…

Lo and behold, JOY was there.


5) Joy is created when we understand grace.

Grace – the awesome and incomprehensible Gift.

I'm convinced that most of us do not fully understand grace.  And that's because most of us don't understand the full horror of our sin.

Thankfully, because of Jesus, we don't have to.

If we so choose, we will never have to experience what it means to be completely separated from God.  Only Jesus, the perfectly sinless One, ever understood the black void of having God turn His back.

Grace is the offer made to us – the free gift of salvation.

And, when we understand and accept grace, when we receive the gift of redemption, when we comprehend the undeserved offer of forgiveness…

…when I fully contemplated the immensity of it…

Lo and behold, JOY was there.


6) Joy is the handmaiden of hope.

Hope is inextricably intertwined with Joy.  The two go hand-in-hand.  For it is the hope of God that brings us joy.  And it is His presence that brings me the uplifting sense of joy, bought by love, offered through grace, and upheld by the assurance of confident hope.

I spent a great amount of time this past year contemplating the thought that God is both before me and behind me.  What does this mean?

Considering the fact that my father's death was the biggest event of the year, and its most un-joy-full moment, I use this as a benchmark to evaluate this idea.

To me it means this:  God went before me into the difficult days of my father's injury and subsequent passing.  The Lord was there before I got there, and led me through it all.  How was He behind me?  On days when I was tempted to look back, and to question decisions, or regret negative thoughts, the Lord was also there.  His gentle hand told me to stop – don't go back – those days were also covered by Him.

So, before me ("Don't worry about the future, child") and behind me ("Don't dwell in the past, child") – HE IS THERE.

When I remember this…

Lo and behold, JOY is there.

7) Joy is anchored in eternity.

Though joy can be experienced in the here and now, its true value is rooted in eternity.

That is why Peter counsels us to look at the big picture, the long view.  He acknowledged that this life is full of trials.  Peter told us the truth.  But then he told us the Truth.  He encouraged us "to be truly glad" in our suffering and tribulation.

Why?

Because there is wonderful Joy ahead.

For our faith will bring much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world.

When I think about the sadness in this world, and how so many hearts are broken – and sometimes, even my own – I could be overcome with defeat and despair.  But when I look at the promise of Heaven, and an eternity with the Lord and faithful loved ones who have gone on ahead (including my dad, whom I will see again), I smile.

For though this life is hard, when I look to the sky…

Lo and behold, JOY is there.

I know this post is long, and I hope I'm not rambling.  But it's so important for me to reflect upon this year of JOY, and I hope in my reflecting, you find something of what JOY can mean for you.

Joy for me most often wasn't the big *cymbal* moment.  It was rather like the tiny tinkling of a bell, heard in the middle of difficult circumstances, sounding a quiet but reassuring message of hope.

I love the scene with Elijah and the Lord.

Sometimes I find myself wanting the "big" appearance of God, coming like a thunderstorm to fix everything that is wrong in my life.  But, more often than not, He arrives in a whisper.  But, a whisper can only be heard when someone has drawn very, very close to Him.  With God, that is more than enough.

For me, joy very often creeped – but it also seeped into every crevice of pain, and filled me up with the Love of God!


Yes, for my most difficult year, God chose the word Joy for me.

And He gave me Joy in ways I could not have fathomed beforehand. 

I didn't see it fully until now.  In the looking back I see.  I see Him.  His hands.  With Him nothing is wasted.  He used it all – the heartaches, the tears, the doubts, the suffering, the trials, the sleepless nights, the indeterminable days, the confusion, the fears, the endless questioning.

He used it all to teach me the fullest meaning of Joy, as only His heart could reveal it.

Joy is more than what I thought it was.  

And I have been blessed in the expanding.


Yes, this past year of my JOY journey was fraught with crazy and difficult circumstances.  

And I often wondered, "Really, Lord?  This is what joy is all about?"

And yet, as I look back, I see that He has quietly answered...

"Yes, this is what it’s all about.  It's about seeing Me."


What is it that I want from God?

Or do I really just want God?

There's a big difference.  And I am pondering the differences, and what a difference it will make if I only seek God for the sheer pleasure of knowing Him.

For indeed, when I seek Him…

Lo and behold, JOY is there!


Jesus, Only You!

Yes, amen, yes. 

Wrong will be right,
when Aslan comes in sight,
At the sound of his roar,
sorrows will be no more,
When he bares his teeth,
winter meets its death,
And when he shakes his mane,
we shall have spring again.

"We proclaim to you the one who existed from the beginning, whom we have heard and seen.  We saw him with our own eyes and touched him with our own hands.  He is the Word of life.  This one who is life itself was revealed to us, and we have seen him.  And now we testify and proclaim to you that he is the one who is eternal life...We are writing these things so that you may fully share our JOY.

This is the message we heard from Jesus and now declare to you: God is light, and there is no darkness in him at all...if we are living in the light, as God is in the light, then we have fellowship with each other, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, cleanses us from all sin." 
(From 1 John 1, NLT)

"Now is your time of grief, but I will see you again and you will rejoice, and no one will take away your JOY." (John 16:22, NIV)

"And a great road will go through that once deserted land.  It will be named the Highway of Holiness.  Evil-minded people will never travel on it.  It will be only for those who walk in God's ways; fools will never walk there...Only the redeemed will walk on it.  Those who have been ransomed by the LORD will return.  They will enter Jerusalem singing, crowned with everlasting JOY. Sorrow and mourning will disappear, and they will be filled with JOY and gladness." (Isaiah 35:8-10, NLT)




What was your word for 2014, and what did you learn?




Linked with:

SHARING HIS BEAUTY, PLAYDATES WITH GOD, UNFORCED RHYTHMS, TELL ME A TRUE STORY, TITUS 2 TUESDAYS, MONDAYS AT SOUL SURVIVAL, UNITE, MAKE A DIFFERENCE MONDAY, GOOD MORNING MONDAYS, TESTIMONY TUESDAY, CHATTING AT THE SKY, WINSOME WEDNESDAY, A LITTLE R & R WEDNESDAYS, WHOLEHEARTED WEDNESDAYS, TELL HIS STORY, TEACHING WHAT IS GOOD, THREE WORD WEDNESDAY, SO MUCH AT HOME, COFFEE FOR YOUR HEART, COFFEE AND CONVERSATION, THOUGHTFUL THURSDAYS, FRIENDSHIP FRIDAY, HEARTS FOR HOME, FAITH FILLED FRIDAY, FELLOWSHIP FRIDAYS, A GROUP LOOK, FAITH AND FELLOWSHIP, SPIRITUAL SUNDAYS,  FELLOWSHIP FRIDAY, COUNTING MY BLESSINGS, SATURDAY SOIREE, STILL SATURDAY, WEEKEND BREW, SUNDAY STILLNESS, MISSIONAL WEEKEND, GIVE ME GRACE



BLOG = "Blessedly Leaning On God!"