RE-LEASING MY BURDENS

Lately I've been doing a lot of reading.

Seems like being sick has a way of slowing life down, and reading is a good way to pass the time.

So I've been learning, listening, lounging –

And I read something that I wrote four years ago that really spoke to me again.

I thought I'd share it with you today…

I had just read something that a friend wrote that triggered a deep response in my heart.  She was talking about *letting go* of a particularly difficult situation in her life.

About how hard it was for her to do that.  

How relinquishing control was often a moment-by-moment process.

How well I related.

So tired, wanting and waiting to release the burden of care that she was carrying.

Yes, I got it.

Those of us who are parents will totally understand the weight of love and concern that we have for our children.  (By the way, those of you who aren't parents still care for other people deeply – you will also understand what I'm talking about).

And we should care.

If we ever took that job of parenting seriously, we will care…deeply.

But sometimes we can get overburdened, overwhelmed, overcome by the things we care about.  Especially when we face the ugly fact that we have little control over another person's circumstances, pain and suffering, thoughts and feelings.

I often find myself being the "emotional burro" of the family.

Might I just say in my defense that I come by that role naturally.

I am the first-born child, and oldest daughter of a first-born son and an only child (my parents).  I am also the first-born grandchild of two first-born sons (my grandfathers) – and the oldest cousin in my family.  (Might I just add that both of my parents were also the oldest grandchildren and oldest cousins on one side of their families).

Yup.

Overly responsible.
Overly conscientious.
Overly…everything.

(Sign me up for Overachievers Anonymous)

The weight I carry for others – especially for my sons, my family – can be heavy, heavy at times.

Now, as a believer and a follower of Jesus, I know that I am not in charge.  (I'm not, right?  Funny how I keep having to check on that…)

The Lord is in infinite control of all things, and all people.

So, I know that my spiritual mandate is to allow Him to have that control.

To exhibit my yielding to His sovereignty by trusting and obeying Him.

I really, really try to do that.

But I am struck by the spiritual irony that I am now actually striving to rest. 

Silly, huh?


As I pondered what my friend wrote, I thought about that word *release*.

The definition of lease is this (taking out the specific legal stuff so it makes sense emotionally!):

A contract by which one party conveys (transfers) [something or someone] to another...

In that sense, God is asking me, inviting me, even commanding me, to do just that.

To make a contract with Him to convey all my *stuff* to Him.

When I thought about that, releasing my burden actually becomes...

RE-leasing. 

Stopping once again to hand over to Him all those things that burden me.

To once again move into that place where I abide with Him.

Where I allow the indwelling of the Holy Spirit to comfort and calm me.

I re-lease in order to once again find peace.


It's not easy for this crazy first-born.  

Very often I find myself *taking back* all the people and situations that I thought I had given to the Lord.

(Evidently, some of the things that I think I "nail to the cross" are actually just thumb-tacked…or loosely held on with Post-It notes…just sayin').

But, God is calling this overly responsible, overly conscientious mother to give it ALL to Him.

Yes.


Today, though with a troubled heart and an anxious spirit, I will re-lease it all to Him who loves me. 

I will transfer my troubles, my worries, my situations and circumstances, my health, my finances, my family – my past, my present, and my future – every detail, every moment – into His loving and capable hands.

Praying you will, too.


Lord, to whom would we go? 

You have the words that give eternal life.




Is there a burden that God is asking you to re-lease to Him?

One more time
He lightens up my load,
In the night of deep despair
my faith keeps telling me
He's there,
Waiting to answer prayer
one more time.


(From "One More Time" by the Downings)

A Conversation with Jesus (based on Scripture):


"I know that you are weary and carry heavy burdens, Sharon."

"Oh Lord, yes, my burdens are heavy and I am so very tired, so weighed down by the worry and care and concerns that I bear."

"This is why I bid you to come to Me.

I will give you rest."

"Rest sounds so nice, Lord.  And yet, it seems impossible to my weary soul."

"Then take My yoke upon you.  Let me share the burden.

Let Me teach you the meaning of true peace.

I am humble and gentle, and I will be tender-hearted as I lead you, and you will find rest for your soul.

My yoke is easy to bear."

"Lord, what do you mean?  Yokes are heavy and confining, they weigh you down.  And the yoke of caring right now is overpowering to me."

"Oh Sharon, don't you understand?  The yoke is not a symbol of pain, but of partnership.  I will carry the load if you align yourself with Me."

"Yes, Lord, I do strive to walk on my own path."

"Sharon, the Father has entrusted everything to Me.

Including every detail, every moment of your life.

So cast the whole of your care – all your anxieties, all your worries, all your concerns – once and for all, on Me.

For I care for you affectionately and I care about you watchfully.

I love you."

"I love You, too, my Jesus, my Friend."

"Then cast your cares on Me, and I will sustain you.  I will never let you be shaken.  I will not permit you to slip and fall.  I will never allow you to be moved.

Follow Me.

And all will be well.

Trust Me."

"Yes, Lord..."

(Based on Matthew 11:27-30, 1 Peter 5:7, and Psalm 55:22)



"Thus it is the duty and interest of weary and heavy-laden sinners, to come to Jesus Christ…Whoever will, let him come.  All who thus come will receive rest as Christ's gift, and obtain peace and comfort in their hearts. 

But in coming to him they must take his yoke, and submit to his authority. They must learn of him all things, as to their comfort and obedience.  He accepts the willing servant, however imperfect the services.  Here we may find rest for our souls, and here only. 

Nor need we fear his yoke. His commandments are holy, just, and good.  It requires self-denial, and exposes to difficulties, but this is abundantly repaid, even in this world, by inward peace and joy.  It is a yoke that is lined with love.

So powerful are the assistances he gives us, so suitable the encouragements, and so strong the consolations to be found in the way of duty, that we may truly say, it is a yoke of pleasantness.  The way of duty is the way of rest.  The truths Christ teaches are such as we may venture our souls upon.  Such is the Redeemer's mercy; and why should the labouring and burdened sinner seek for rest from any other quarter? 

Let us come to him daily, for deliverance from wrath and guilt, from sin and Satan, from all our cares, fears, and sorrows."

(Matthew Henry Commentary)



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BLOG = "Blessedly Leaning On God!"

THE BOGEYMAN

Big girl confession.

I am a scaredy-cat.

And I am very afraid of the dark.

Which isn't a good thing when you live on the top of a mountain, with only one neighbor in sight (who only occasionally visits), no streetlights, multiple windows, and minimal window coverings.

I feel like I am on view for every scary creature out there.

And I really don't like driving home in the dark.

The last leg to our house is a steep switchback, a skinny ribbon of a road that requires one to slow to a snail's pace to negotiate it.

At nighttime, this means one lonely set of headlights illuminating shadowy trees and clawing branches, ogre-shaped boulders, darkened ravines where trolls lurk…

And heaven help me if it's windy!


I have always been afraid of the dark.

I think it must be something innate to the human creature.  I think we're born with an uneasy wariness of the darkness.  After all, we can't see as well, and therefore we're most vulnerable.

However, if something happens to you when you're a child, that fear can really escalate and take hold.

Like it did for me.

I vividly remember one night when we were visiting my grandparents' house. I was very young.  Young enough that my mom put me to bed in the other room while they stayed up visiting.

I fell asleep, yes.

But at some point, I awoke – and discovered, to my terror, that someone or some *thing* had a tight grip on my hand!

Now I knew that the Bogeyman lived either in a closet or under a bed.  So I knew it was HIM that had hold of me!!

Even though I was scared out of my wits, I still had some wits about me.

So I started reasoning out what to do.

If I yelled for my father, the Bogeyman would pull me quickly under the bed and take me to the unknown void where he takes little children.

If I stayed still and quiet, he'd still end up pulling me quickly under the bed and taking me to the unknown void where he takes little children.

I finally decided that if I yelled for my father, the Bogeyman might be startled just long enough for my dad to arrive and rescue me.

I started screaming…

"Dad, help me, help me!!"

He stormed into the room, and I started sobbing.

"What's wrong???"

Blubbering, I tried to tell him about how the Bogeyman was tightly gripping my hand, and how he was momentarily going to pull me under the bed and take me to the unknown void where he takes little children.

My father started laughing.

Dad was not a cruel man, but I just could NOT figure out what was so funny about being kidnapped.

"Dad, why are you laughing?"

"Look at your hand," he chuckled.

Oh, I was terrified to do that.  What horribly gnarled, wart-encrusted, talon-curled, slimy green hand was I going to see?

Finally, I took one peek – only to find my hand firmly in the grasp of my other one.

What?!?!

Well, it seems that one arm had fallen asleep, and dead to the world, it had become the gripping and grasping claw of the *Bogeyman*…

OK, amusing, but this incident only cemented my terror of the dark.

Fortunately, I did not have parents who used the Bogeyman as a threat to ensure good behavior.

But I did have a brother who delighted in jumping out at me from dark doorways, or from behind couches, or out of closets.

My fear of the dark and sudden surprises took root.

I still sorta launch myself into bed from a couple of feet out…

And "The Hub" has been know to accidentally startle me into a terror-stricken shout from time to time.

He always asks me, "Who did you expect?"

Well, the Bogeyman…


Interesting background on the Bogeyman:

"The word bogey is believed to be derived from the Middle English bogge/bugge (hobgoblin).  Bogeyman (also, sometimes, incorrectly, spelled bogieman, boogeyman, or boogie man) is a common allusion to a mythical creature in many cultures used by adults or older children to frighten children into good behavior. This monster has no specific appearance, and conceptions about it can vary drastically from household to household within the same community; in many cases, he has no set appearance in the mind of an adult or child, but is simply a non-specific embodiment of terror. Parents may tell their children that if they misbehave, the bogeyman will get them…In some cases, the bogeyman is a nickname for the devil." 
(From Wikipedia)

It seems like every culture has some sort of myth or legend about the Bogeyman.

But what I found most interesting is that he can represent Satan.

When you think about it, our fear of the dark probably has its roots in our fear of the devil and his minions.  And though the Bogeyman is a fictional character, the enemy of our souls is very real.

And he has a mission – to steal, kill, and destroy.  (John 10:10, ESV)

Described as evil, a thief, the father of lies, a murderer, he is scary.

But, I have discovered a couple of things about him.


One, he cannot read my mind.

This means that my thought life is private.

It cannot be invaded physically or spiritually by the enemy.

Yes, just as we can sense the mood of another person and try to influence it, he can be the parrot that sits on my shoulder, squawking his lies and venom into my ear.

Or he can be the slippery serpent that whispers temptations and doubts.

He can attempt to inflame my thoughts, influence my thoughts, encourage my thoughts, twist my thoughts – but he cannot get in there and hear them.

I like that.

For one thing, this means that when I talk with the Lord in my heart, the enemy is NOT privy to the conversation.

He will not hear me pour out my heart, nor listen to me recount my troubles and worries.  He will not hear me when I feel angry or disappointed in God. He will never hear my doubts.

Therefore, what tremendous courage I can take in being totally honest with the Lord!

I don't know if any of you remember the comedy series, "Get Smart."  If you do, then you'll remember the *cone of silence.*  A rather bulky and cumbersome plastic dome that never, ever worked.

But, God surrounds our minds with His protection.

So what we say in our innermost thoughts, and what we feel in our innermost emotions, is safe with Him.

He alone is omniscient, He alone knows the heart.

He alone knows you.


The second thing that I've learned about the enemy is that he cannot read my mind.

I'm not being redundant here.

This is what I mean.

If the devil cannot read my mind – (he cannot) – then he also doesn't hear my words when I try to battle him in my thoughts.

I can say "Get thee behind me, Satan" all I want in my head, and it might serve to shore up my defenses, but there is only one way to be offensive…

Say it out loud.

Yes, say it so he can hear it.

When Jesus was tempted in the wilderness, He used Scripture as His sword.

But He didn't just quote it in his head.

Nope.

If you look closely at the story in Matthew 4, you'll notice something…

Jesus SPOKE Scripture!

And he ended with this:

"Then Jesus said to him, 'Go away, Satan!'" (Matthew 1:10, AMP)


"The Hub" has a funny story about a guy he used to know at work.  This guy was really frustrated with someone, and was telling my husband all the ugly things he said to that person.

"The Hub," finding it hard to believe that this guy got away with all the trash talk, asked him, "You said that?"

The guy kinda smiled and replied, "Yeah…on the inside."

Friends, we cannot afford to fight our enemy just "on the inside."

So if you want to fight well against a most-feared, but not so fearsome, enemy – talk back to him...

OUT. LOUD.

After all, he can't read your mind.


Yeah, I'm still afraid of the dark.

I still love flashlights, and night lights in every room.

I still check closets and under the bed from time to time.

But truly, the Bogeyman is just a figment of an overactive imagination, a myth, a legend.

And though our enemy is real, he is also rather insubstantial.

So if you ever find yourself tightly in his grip, take a good, long look at your hands.

Chances are, something's *fallen asleep* and you're only gripped by your own fear.

Your Father is right there.

And there is no one or no thing "under the bed" ready to snatch you away.


You are safe in His hands alone…

Jesus speaks...

I am
the light of the world.
Whoever follows Me
will never
walk in darkness,
but will have
the Light of life.

***REMEMBER to check out DAILY GRATEFUL THOUGHTS here***
  
(Updated DAILY GRATEFUL WORDS, A WORD FROM THE WORD, A "MESSAGE" FROM GOD, and FOOD FOR THOUGHT can be found on the sidebar.  Thank you!)




"O LORD, you have examined my heart and know everything about me.  You know when I sit down or stand up.  You know my thoughts even when I'm far away.  You see me when I travel and when I rest at home.  You know everything I do.  You know what I am going to say even before I say it, LORD." (Psalm 139:1-4, NLT)

"So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God.  There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most." 
(Hebrews 4:16, NLT)

"Casting all your cares [all your anxieties, all your worries, and all your concerns, once and for all] on Him, for He cares about you [with deepest affection, and watches over you very carefully]." (1 Peter 5:7, AMP)

"Then you will walk on your way [of life] securely and your foot will not stumble.  When you lie down, you will not be afraid; When you lie down, your sleep will be sweet." (Proverbs 3:23-24, AMP)

"'The people who were sitting in darkness saw a great light, and those who were sitting in the land and shadow of death, upon them a light dawned.'" (Matthew 4:16, NASB)

"'I am the light of the world.  Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.'" (John 8:12, NIV)

"Yes, though I walk through the [deep, sunless] valley of the shadow of death, I will fear or dread no evil, for You are with me; Your rod [to protect] and Your staff [to guide], they comfort me." (Psalm 23:4, AMP)

"I give them eternal life, and they will never perish, and no one will snatch them out of my hand." (John 10:28, ESV)

"'...I will build my church, and all the powers of hell will not conquer it.'" (Matthew 16:18, NLT)

"Resist the devil [stand firm against him] and he will flee from you." 
(James 4:7, AMP)

"Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes…Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand." (Ephesians 6:11, 13, NIV)

"For the word of God is alive and powerful.  It is sharper than the sharpest two-edged sword..." (Hebrews 4:12, NLT)

"Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path." (Psalm 119:105, AMP)



What is the *Bogeyman* in your life?  What are you afraid of?



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BLOG = "Blessedly Leaning On God!"

THIS ISN'T NECESSARY

Tinkering.

Sometimes I think that's all I try to do with my life…

Fix things.

And sometimes I think that this is all that happens when I tinker…

Nothing.

The definition of the word "tinker" is this: to busy oneself with a thing without useful results.

(The origin of the word comes from "tinker" = "a mender of kettles, pots, pans, etc."  The word originated in the mid-13th century as a surname.  Some connect the word with the sound made by light hammering on metal.  The verb meaning,"to keep busy in a useless way," is first found in the 1650's.) 


It seems to me that there's just something about human nature that is driven to tinker.  

It's like we feel a compulsion to contribute our *two cents* to conversations and to *offer advice* (meddle??) in relationships.  To *tweak* (manipulate??) situations.  Not to mention how much time we spend changing our wardrobes, changing our looks, changing our homes, changing our diets, changing our exercise routine…

Seems like we're always seeking to alter and modify – to revise, rework, and remodel.

Why do we do this?

I think it's because we're endlessly trying to make life feel right, and comfortable, and easy.

But, by its very definition, tinkering is futile and pointless work.

For, more often than not, our efforts are fruitless, accomplishing nothing of any significance or lasting impact.

And when I think about fruitless labor, I always think about Sarah Winchester.


Years ago, my sons and I took a most interesting tour at a place called The Winchester Mystery House in San Jose, California.

Here's the backstory:

The house was built by Sarah Winchester, the widow of William Winchester, of the family that manufactured the Winchester repeating rifle.  Life was good for a while, but then disaster struck.  In 1866, her infant daughter, Annie, died, followed 15 years later by the death of her husband.  Mrs. Winchester fell into a deep depression from which she never fully recovered.  Legend has it that she ultimately sought help from a spiritualist.

According to some sources, the spiritualist explained that she was being haunted by the spirits of people killed by Winchester rifles.  Supposedly the spirits caused the tragic deaths of her daughter and husband, and she could be their next victim.

Mrs. Winchester was told to move west, and in an effort to appease the spirits, she was exhorted to build a grand house for them.  As long as construction on the house never ceased, Mrs. Winchester’s life would not be in danger, and perhaps she would even ensure herself eternal life.

Over the next 38 years, 24 hours a day, construction never stopped.   At the time of her death in 1922, the unfinished farmhouse she bought in 1884 had spread over six acres.  The sprawling mansion contained 160 rooms, 2,000 doors, 10,000 windows, 47 stairways, 47 fireplaces, 17 chimneys, 13 bathrooms, 6 kitchens, two basements – with many false doors, confusing passageways, up-and-down staircases, secret rooms, peepholes, and dead-ends.

After all that, Sarah Winchester still died.

The house is fascinating, the story is heartbreaking.


Fruitless labor.

Yes, I've been known to "work" at that, too.

And sometimes, my tinkering just makes things worse.

Ever done that?

Tried to make things better, and everything just blows up in your face?

Now hear me on this, I am not talking about the real work of reconciliation or forgiveness.

This is necessary work, and God commands us to do it.

But, He does not ask us to do HIS work.

That's what I'm talking about – inserting ourselves into situations where God is in control.  (Which, truth be told, is EVERY situation!)

And sometimes, when God is at work, He asks us to wait.

This is when I'm most tempted to insert my proverbial nose into the process.

When things are not proceeding according to my plans and my timetable.  

When life feels wrong and uncomfortable and difficult.

When I think that God could use a little help.

HA!


My grandmother once told me a story about planting some seeds.  

And when they didn't sprout in a *timely fashion*, she dug one up.  Seeing that the seed had changed, she replanted it.  Well, I bet you can guess what happened.

That is the only seed that didn't grow.

Good lesson, huh?!


So what does God want to say to me, to us, about all of this?

These words:

"This isn't necessary."

Our pastor tells the story of a man burdened under a load of heavy sticks. Hunched over, he slowly trudges his way down the road toward home.  Then a truck comes by, with a very friendly driver, and offers him a ride.

He accepts.

But, once in the bed of the truck, the man declines to sit, and continues to be bent over by the weight of his heavy burden, which he refuses to lay down.

Don't we all do this sometimes?

Having accepted the Lord as our Savior, we then revert to behavior that impedes Him from saving us.

We tinker and toil, endlessly trying to *fix* things.

Without useful results, and sometimes making things worse in the process.

And if we're not actively tinkering, we're most likely worrying in fretful fits of futile figuring, trying to work things out.


God speaks…

Gently, insistently, and occasionally a bit forcefully – (I sometimes don't listen well, do you?!)…

"This isn't necessary."

We are not meant to carry life.

We are meant to carry our cares to The Life.

When I looked up the definition of "tinker," it included this sentence in the definition – "Stop tinkering with that clock and take it to the repair shop."

It occurs to me that I should be taking everything to The Watchmaker.

The only One who knows how to repair broken relationships, to mend broken hearts, to restore broken spirits, to fix a broken world.


Might I just paraphrase one of my favorite verses in the Bible?

One that I believe, but have so much trouble following?

"Do not be anxious or worried about anything, and stop trying to fix things. Instead, in everything – and I mean everything! – every circumstance, every situation, every relationship, every financial matter, every illness or health challenge, every decision – by praise and appeal and thanksgiving (don't forget to be thankful!) – continue to make your specific requests known to God.  And then, lay down those burdens, get out of the way, and LET HIM WORK!" (paraphrase of Philippians 4:6)


I don't know about you, but I'm sitting down and unloading those heavy sticks!

I'm tired of carrying burdens that aren't meant to be carried alone.

I'm tired of worrying about situations and circumstances that are firmly in God's control.

I'm tired of shouldering responsibility in a futile effort to fix everything and make everything *work*.

I'm tired of tinkering.

And I'm sure God is tired of my interference!!


May God complete His work – in me, in my life, and in the lives of the ones I love.

May my fruitless labor be transformed into the fruit of the Spirit.


And may I learn to trust Him ever more…

Laying down my tools
and ceasing
from my labors,
I place everything
into the capable hands
of
The Carpenter,
who bids me to come
and rest. 

"Then Jesus said, 'Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you.  Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.'" 
(Matthew 11:28-30, NLT)

"God has told his people, 'Here is a place of rest; let the weary rest here.  This is a place of quiet rest.'" (Isaiah 28:12, NLT)

"'For I will satisfy the weary soul, and every languishing soul I will replenish.'" (Jeremiah 31:25, ESV)

"He gives strength to the weary, and to him who has no might He increases power.  Even youths grow weary and tired, and vigorous young men stumble badly, but those who wait for the Lord [who expect, look for, and hope in Him] will gain new strength and renew their power; they will lift up their wings [and rise up close to God] like eagles [rising toward the sun]; they will run and not become weary, they will walk and not grow tired." (Isaiah 40:29-31, AMP)

"For the Lord God, the Holy One of Israel has said this, 'In returning [to Me] and rest you shall be saved, in quietness and confident trust is your strength.'" (Isaiah 30:15, AMP)

"'So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.'" (Isaiah 41:10, NIV)

"The Sovereign LORD has given me his words of wisdom…Morning by morning he wakens me and opens my understanding to his will." (Isaiah 50:4, NLT)

"A man's mind plans his way [as he journeys through life], but the Lord directs his steps and establishes them." (Proverbs 16:9, AMP)

"Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him, and he will act." 
(Psalm 37:5, ESV)

"Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and he will establish your plans." (Proverbs 16:3, NIV)

"Trust in and rely confidently on the Lord with all your heart and do not rely on your own insight or understanding.  In all your ways know and acknowledge and recognize Him, and He will make your paths straight and smooth…" (Proverbs 3:5-6, AMP)

"…[Cast] all your cares [all your anxieties, all your worries, and all your concerns, once and for all] on Him, for He cares about you [with deepest affection, and watches over you very carefully]." (1 Peter 5:7, AMP)

"Cast your burden on the Lord [release it] and He will sustain and uphold you; He will never allow the righteous to be shaken (slip, fall, fail)." 
(Psalm 55:22, AMP)

"O my people, trust in him at all times.  Pour out your heart to him, for God is our refuge." (Psalm 62:8, NLT)

"To You, O LORD, I lift up my soul.  O my God, in You I trust, do not let me be ashamed; do not let my enemies exult over me…Make me know Your ways, O LORD; teach me Your paths.  Lead me in Your truth and teach me, for You are the God of my salvation; for You I wait all the day." 
(Psalm 25:1-2, 4-5, NASB)

"...your eyes will [constantly] see your Teacher.  Your ears will hear a word behind you, 'This is the way, walk in it,' whenever you turn to the right or to the left." (Isaiah 30:20-21, AMP)

"Teach me your way, O LORD, and lead me…" (Psalms 27:11, ESV)

Are you a tinkering fool?!

Linked with:

SHARING HIS BEAUTY, PLAYDATES WITH GOD, SMALL WONDER, MONDAY'S MUSINGS, MONDAYS AT SOUL SURVIVAL, LIFE GIVING LINKUP, GOOD MORNING MONDAYS, GRATEFUL HEART MONDAY, REFLECT LINKUP, WORDS WITH WINTER, THE ART OF HOMEMAKING MONDAYS, TELL ME A TRUE STORY, TITUS 2 TUESDAY, TELL IT TO ME TUESDAYS, UNITE LINKUP, TESTIMONY TUESDAY, TUESDAY TALK, RA RA LINKUP, TEACHING WHAT IS GOOD, INTENTIONAL TUESDAY, TELL HIS STORY, A LITTLE R & R WEDNESDAYS, WHOLEHEARTED WEDNESDAY, WORD FILLED WEDNESDAY, THREE WORD WEDNESDAY, COFFEE FOR YOUR HEART, WISE WOMAN, COFFEE & CONVERSATION, WOMEN WITH INTENTION, WAITING ON WEDNESDAY, JOYHOPELIVE LINKUP, THE (NOT JUST) HOMEMAKING PARTY, LIVE FREE THURSDAY, THURSDAY FAVORITE THINGS THOUGHT-PROVOKING THURSDAY, EVERYDAY JESUS, GRACE AT HOME, SHINE LINKUP,THOUGHTFUL THURSDAYS, FROM HOUSE TO HOME, LITTLE THINGS THURSDAY, FRIENDSHIP FRIDAY, EVERYDAY TESTIMONY, SPIRITUAL SUNDAYS, FAITH 'N FRIENDS, MAKE MY SATURDAY SWEET, FAITH & FELLOWSHIP, GRACE & TRUTH, DANCE WITH JESUS, FAITH FILLED FRIDAY,TGI SATURDAYS, STILL SATURDAY, SUNDAY STILLNESS, WEEKEND WHISPERS, SMALL VICTORIES SUNDAY, GIVE ME GRACE



BLOG = "Blessedly Leaning On God!"

I'M BESIDE MYSELF

Yup.

Beside myself.

Know what I mean?

I looked up this phrase to better define it.  Here's what I found:

"Why do we describe a distraught person as being 'beside himself'?  Because the ancients believed that soul and body could part and that under great emotional stress the soul would actually leave the body.  When this happened a person was 'beside himself.'  (In an extreme state of some emotion)."


Have you ever felt like that?

Like you're two people living in one body?  Like your mind and your heart are warring against each other?  Like how you're feeling just isn't meshing with what you believe?

This sums up what I've been feeling for the last few weeks.

Gripped in a state of anxiety that is battling for my thoughts.  And yet, holding on to what I know is true, and in what I believe.

Fearful thoughts and trusting heart.

Can they exist in the same person?

Evidently so, for this is the conflict that I've been experiencing lately.

I find this co-existence exhausting.

You see, I'm an interesting mix of feelings and thoughts.  I have a big heart, I'm very sensitive, and I care about things deeply.  I'm a feeling person.

But, I'm also a thinker.  Thoughtful in my approach to life – analytical, pondering, ruminating – always searching for answers.

So, I have an interesting way that I'm doing life.

Something will happen.  It causes deep feelings.  Sometimes confused by these emotions, or feeling out of control of them, I try to figure them out. You see, to me it seems that if I can understand what I'm feeling, then I can manage and deal with it.

But sometimes life isn't that straightforward.


This year has brought so many things.  And my feelings are out of control.  At least it seems that way, for I cannot always understand why I'm feeling what I feel.  And that just increases my sense of anxiety.

On the other hand, my faith is deepening.  Gradually being strengthened by an unshakable belief in a God who is there.  A God who is in control.  A God who loves me without reservations – unconditionally – with His whole heart.

A God whom I love the very same way.


So, I feel like a split personality.

Two people in one.

The emotional person and the thinker.  The fearful person and the believer.  

The *wearied-by-being-me* person.

I'm hoping someone can relate.  I hope someone understands.  I hope there's some *two-in-ones* out there in Blog Land like me.

I do know there was someone in the Bible like me.

His name was Paul.

Paul struggled with the two natures that lived within himself.  The sinful nature, and the Spirit-filled nature.

He knew what it was like to feel torn apart by warring thoughts and feelings.

"The trouble is with me...I don't really understand myself..." 

(Romans 7:14, 15, NLT)



Two people…

Helpless and hopeful.  Scared and secure.  Confused and confident.

And, in the end, it boils down to this dilemma…

Sinner and saint.


Yeah, beside myself.

And yet, beside my Savior, too.

Digging in close to Him, though I cannot figure out my life or myself.  I still want to understand, and I'm still trying to understand, but failing in both.

So, this is what I'm praying for:

That He will bring to my tired mind and helpless emotions the restful repose found in the hope that only He can offer.

That He will free me from my fears and fruitless worrying by reminding and reassuring me of the security I possess because of His salvation.

That He will replace my internal confusion and desperate need to understand myself with the confidence that He knows my heart, knows my name, and knows what He is doing.

And through it all, I truly want Him to become greater.

Paul understood that, too, and said it this way:

"I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me." 

(Galatians 2:20, NIV)



You know, I think I'll always be a bit confused by all the paradoxes that exist within me.

I think I'll always be a unique (and often frustrating) mix of feeling and thinking.

And I know that the battle between my flesh and my Spirit-filled nature will rage on until I am made complete in eternity.

You too??

Take heart – we are not alone in the battle.

We are promised a High Priest who understands – our dear Jesus.

For He was also a *two-in-one*…

God and man.  Divine and human.  Infinite and finite.  Humble and glorious.

The death that saved us, and the Life that lives on within us.

In Him all things come together and are made complete.

And someday, all the warring and confusing and paradoxical things that exist in us will be united and perfected.  

For in the twinkling of an eye, we will become all that He has intended for us since before the creation of the world.

One day, we will be like Him, for He is coming back.

Maybe today!!

Sometimes calm, sometimes mad,
Sometimes happy, sometimes sad -
Sometimes the person I want to be,
Sometimes chagrined at being me.

But I am saved, and one day I'll see,
All that God has in store for me -
And I will become like His loving Son,
And the battle will finally be over and done!

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding…Be not wise in your own eyes…" (Proverbs 3:5, 7, ESV)

"The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom, and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding." (Proverbs 9:10, NIV)

"For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin." (Hebrews 4:15, ESV)

"He must become greater and greater, and I must become less and less." (John 3:30, NLT)

"Beloved, we are God's children now, and what we will be has not yet appeared; but we know that when he appears we shall be like him, because we shall see him as he is." (1 John 3:2, ESV)

"And when Christ, who is your life, is revealed to the whole world, you will share in all his glory." (Colossians 3:4, NLT)



What is something paradoxical that exists in you?  



Linked with:

SHARING HIS BEAUTY, PLAYDATES WITH GOD, UNFORCED RHYTHMS, MONDAY'S MUSINGS, MONDAYS AT SOUL SURVIVAL, TELL ME A TRUE STORY, SALT & LIGHT, TITUS 2 TUESDAYS, SOLI DEO GLORIA, UNITE, TESTIMONY TUESDAY, INSPIRE ME MONDAY, WHIMSICAL WEDNESDAYS, CAPTURE YOUR JOURNEY, WOMEN HELPING WOMEN, A LITTLE R & R WEDNESDAYS, WHOLEHEARTED WEDNESDAYS, THREE WORD WEDNESDAY, TELL HIS STORY, WORD FILLED WEDNESDAY, COFFEE FOR YOUR HEART, THOUGHT-PROVOKING THURSDAY, THRIVING THURSDAY, EVERYDAY JESUS, FAITH BARISTA, HEARTS FOR HOME, GRACE AT HOME, FRIENDSHIP FRIDAY, FRIENDSHIP FRIDAYS, FAITH FILLED FRIDAY, ESSENTIAL FRIDAYS, SPIRITUAL SUNDAYS, COUNTING MY BLESSINGS, MAKE MY SATURDAY SWEET, STILL SATURDAY, SATURDAY SOIREE, WEEKEND BREW, RECOMMENDATION SATURDAY, GIVE ME GRACE, SUNDAY STILLNESS



BLOG = "Blessedly Leaning On God!"

DRACULA MOON

Monsters.

I sorta like to be scared by them.

Back in the day (my day that is!), there was a rash of monster movies. Frankenstein, The Wolf Man, The Mummy, The Phantom of the Opera, Creature from the Black Lagoon, to name a few.  In my humble (and correct) opinion, these were *true* monster movies.  (I am not a fan of re-makes).

And, in a pre-special effects world, a world without computer-generated creatures, these movies were classics of makeup and lighting and cinematography.  I think the fact that they were filmed in black and white made them even scarier.  Properly creepy, they scared the wits out of me.

Especially Dracula.

For weeks I was unable to close my eyes at night without feeling his warm, batty breath on my neck!

Somehow in my mind, he was the one monster who could actually be real.

And so, to this day, I am still a little spooked by what I call a "Dracula Moon."

A "Dracula Moon" is a full moon surrounded by wispy clouds, or fog, or a halo of moist air.  (Check out my photo below and you'll see what I mean).

A regular full moon is also a bit eerie, as it brings the risk of a random Wolf Man appearance.

But at least you can see well by the light of a silvery moon.

A "Dracula Moon" is not a bright moon.  It is a shadowy harbinger of ominous monster-lurking (or flying).

Part of the reason I still look up in the sky and feel a tingle along my spine is because of one true fact…

I am still afraid of the dark.

Yup, I admit it.

I am a nighttime sissy.

And you know what?  It is really, really freaky up here in the mountains!  There are no neighbors next door, no streetlights, no neon-lit main street, no fancy backyard lighting.

Just an inky sky…

…and whatever else is lingering nearby just waiting to jump out at me!

I've mentioned before that our house is located at the top of a winding, switchback road.  And I hate when I have to drive home after dark.  It doesn't happen often (on purpose) – but occasionally I have to do it.

Let me tell you, there is no way that I can drive fast. 

And so, when I go slowly, and especially when I have to slow down around the curves, all I can see is what is lit up by my headlights (on high-beam, of course).

I am surrounded by trees and boulders and ravines and things that go bump in the night.

My hands get a little sweaty, my heart beats faster, and my mind races to all sorts of things.  Beasts that will jump out at me, or scary robbers trying to hijack my car, or monsters looking for an unwary and hapless victim.

And, if I am ever unfortunate enough to drive home on a night lit up by a "Dracula Moon" – let me tell you, I am looking for wings.

Silly, huh?

A little, maybe.

But fear of the dark is real.  And fear of monsters is instinctual in a way, don't you think?

Found this on the web:  Fear of the dark is usually not fear of the darkness itself, but fear of possible or imagined dangers concealed by darkness.  It's linked to a fear of the unknown.


Yes, that is it exactly.

But, where does this fear come from?

I think it comes from something that the enemy places in our hearts and minds.

The prince of darkness reigns on this earth, and fear is one of his most effective tactics.

He moves in darkness, and hates the light.

And he delights in scaring the children of God.

Trust me, I know.  For I am a worrier, a fretter, a stewpot of *what-if* thinking…and I get scared very easily.

It's my thorn.

And the enemy knows how to poke at and stir up and wound me at my most vulnerable spot.

F reaking out
E ndless anxiety
A ngst-ridden thoughts
R unning away


He is a monster.

But truly, I don't really need to be afraid of him.

For I have the Light of the World with me.

I have found that if I turn on a Christian radio station while driving up the road, I'm not afraid.

If I pray while I'm driving, I'm not afraid.  (Eyes open, of course!)

If I sing while I'm driving, I'm not afraid.

See, the truth of the matter is this – if I focus on the Lord, I AM NOT AFRAID.

This is Truth that can, and must, be applied to all aspects of my life.

Fear is really just the devil taunting me, and tempting me to look at all my inadequacies, my inabilities, my lack of control over anything.

And this is the root of fear.

It stems from that old prideful desire to be our own gods.  To run our lives.  To do what we think is best.  To rule and reign and make life into our own image.

And when we come face-to-face with the fearsome reality that we are not in control, well, we can crumble.

I have battled an onslaught of anxiety since my dad died in January.  It's been overwhelming at times.

And yet…

AND. YET.

I am also finding out how much I am loved.

Loved by a sovereign God who loves me perfectly.

"There is no fear in love.  But perfect love drives out fear…" (1 John 4:18, NIV)

He is the One who controls my future.  He is the One who battles the darkness of fear.  He is the One who overcomes the powers that taunt and tempt.

Yes, the enemy may say, "Boo!"

But the Lord says, "Be gone!"


Truth be told, I'll probably always be a little afraid of the dark and monsters – (I still jump into my bed from about 2 feet out – nobody’s grabbing me from underneath the bed!)

And I'll probably always have to battle my tendency to worry.

And I'm sure I'll always have a "control" issue!

But, I do not need to fear…

For the light of the moon, even a "Dracula Moon," is still just a reflection of the sun…

…and even on the darkest night, the Son is still shining!

Fear not!
I am with you always,
even to the end of the world.

"I, the Lord, have called you in righteousness; I will take hold of your hand.  I will keep you...[and will] release from the dungeon those who sit in darkness." (Isaiah 42:6-7, NIV)

"For God, who said, 'Let there be light in the darkness,' has made this light shine in our hearts so we could know the glory of God that is seen in the face of Jesus Christ." (2 Corinthians 4:6, NLT)

"For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves..." (Colossians 1:13, NIV)

"But you are not like that, for you are a chosen people...As a result, you can show others the goodness of God, for he called you out of the darkness into his wonderful light." (1 Peter 2:9, NLT)

"For once you were full of darkness, but now you have light from the Lord.  So live as people of light!" (Ephesians 5:8, NLT)

"'Yes, I am sending you to the Gentiles to open their eyes, so they may turn from darkness to light and from the power of Satan to God.'" 

(Acts 26:17-18, NLT)

"In him was life, and the life was the light of men.  The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it." (John 1:4-5, ESV)

"'I have come as Light into the world, so that everyone who believes in Me will not remain in darkness.'" (John 12:46, NASB)

"'I am the light of the world.  Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.'" (John 1:12, NIV)

"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." (Isaiah 41:10, NIV)

"Do not rejoice over me, my enemy; When I fall, I will arise; When I sit in darkness, The LORD will be a light to me." (Micah 7:8, NKJV)

What are you afraid of?  And how does God help you overcome your fears?

Linked today with:

SHARING HIS BEAUTY, PLAYDATES WITH GOD, MONDAY'S MUSINGS, MONDAYS AT SOUL SURVIVAL, UNFORCED RHYTHMS, TELL ME A TRUE STORY, SOLI DEO GLORIA, TITUS 2 TUESDAYS, UNITE, TESTIMONY TUESDAY, WHIMSICAL WEDNESDAYS, A LITTLE R & R WEDNESDAYS, WHOLEHEARTED WEDNESDAYS, THREE WORD WEDNESDAY, TELL HIS STORY, CAPTURE YOUR JOURNEY, WOMEN HELPING WOMEN, WORDS OF LIFE WEDNESDAYS, WINSOME WEDNESDAY, WORD FILLED WEDNESDAY, COFFEE FOR YOUR HEART, THOUGHT-PROVOKING THURSDAY, THRIVING THURSDAY, EVERYDAY JESUS, THRIVE AT HOME THURSDAY, HEARTS FOR HOME, GRACE AT HOME, FRIENDSHIP FRIDAY, FELLOWSHIP FRIDAYS, FAITH FILLED FRIDAY, FRIDAY FIVE, ESSENTIAL FRIDAYS, SPIRITUAL SUNDAYS, COUNTING MY BLESSINGS, MAKE MY SATURDAY SWEET, WEEKEND BREW, RECOMMENDATION SATURDAY, STILL SATURDAY, SATURDAY SOIREE, SUNDAY STILLNESS, GIVE ME GRACE

BLOG = "Blessedly Leaning On God!"