Solid.
Grounded.
A couple of weeks ago I thought of those words to describe how I was feeling. I was feeling strong in my faith – in spite of circumstances that were swirling around me. It was a new feeling for me.
I felt mature – a Christian grown-up.
I liked the feeling.
And then life hit.
The details are unimportant. Just know that some bad news arrived on several fronts. And it was upsetting…
The airplane of my life was "grounded" quickly as it crashed into "solid" land.
I think it was even more shocking to fall into discouragement and despair because I fell from such a height of soaring.
Oh Lord.
I have spent the last two days questioning myself – wondering how it is that I can crumple like a house of cards at the provocation of an ill wind. I am dismayed by that – frustrated by that – confused by that.
It has always been my one wish that there was some sort of spiritual *plateau* at which I could land. A feeling that would abide in me when the storm waves crash, and the wind howls, and the world goes swirly around me.
I suppose I would like to "arrive" in this lifetime.
Of course, I think that's impossible – IF I'm relying on feelings.
Feelings are sinking sand. And a house built on them will always fall apart.
I was reminded of that when I was reading my devotions yesterday. As part of my quiet time each day, I am reading "The One Year Daily Insights by Zig Ziglar." I'm enjoying it immensely. But yesterday, I had one of those "love/hate my devotional" moments (I talked about that here...)
The devotion was all about God's goodness. (The timing – oh yes, the timing…)
And here are the thoughts that really spoke to me:
"All of God's intentions toward us are for our benefit, and His actions are designed to accomplish those intentions…" (really???)
"God's goodness is not confined to what is pleasant…" (evidently not)
"His intent is for us to grow strong in our faith and realize how much we depend on Him…" (the Rock)
"If, AT OUR INSISTENCE, God's goodness were shown only in the narrow, limited giving of pleasant experiences, we would remain spiritual infants. But God insists on us growing up!" (Ouch…growing pains)
I've done several posts on my grappling with the idea of God's goodness – and the meaning of His peace.
Neither is defined by my own understanding – that's for sure.
I am perplexed by that – and comforted.
Bottom line – I really do want God to be bigger than me.
So, I guess I am learning to rely on God – in stormy seas and calm, through thick and thin times, when I understand Him and especially when I don't.
If He isn't God when I'm afraid…He isn't God.
Faith is not feeling – and faith, true faith, is solid and grounded – built on the firm foundation of God's faithfulness.
Oh, right now I am clinging…
BLOG = "Blessedly Leaning On God!"
Remember the higher the mountain you climb the farther you can fall. The closer to God you are the harder lifes ill winds will feel. Emotions may now be felt allowing the abilitly to learn more compassion and understanding where needed. To truly have firm footing the more bad experiences you can overcome the stronger and more compassionate you will be. But your strength to move on again will rise with the faith that God will always be by your side no matter what life reveals to you. I pray that you are surrounded again by his presense and love and soon you find your footing again to continue your climb. Loving Hugs Carrie
ReplyDeleteSo sorry to hear of your "ill winds" - but how well I can relate to your grounding experience. I marvel at my own weakness in the face of "unpleasantness" - dare we use the term "trials"? Our comfort and peace is in knowing that God is never shocked at the trials we face - nor our stumbling about in their midst. Sharon - you are grounded on the Rock - hold on - this type of grounding is the firm foundation upon which faith and overcoming are built up - NOT the grounding of a shipwreck on reef and rocks. Speak GRACE to it - may you know His comfort and wisdom as you navigate.
ReplyDeleteJoyful in His Shelter . . .
Kathy
P.S. Hinds Feet in High Places - Just sayin'
ReplyDeleteI am not sure what is going on - but I will be praying for you Sharon. I've missed you.
ReplyDeleteHi Sharyn, that book by Zig Ziggler sounds like a good one to add to my collection.
ReplyDeleteAll the best,
Wanda
Oh I have been there my friend, and no doubt will be again. I love Spurgeon's words for times like these testings... 'faith is the hand that grasps'. That''s our bottom line isn't it? Even when all around seems shifting, upheaval or crazy... we hang on, and He takes us through.
ReplyDeletePraying for you right now.
A big Texas hug tonight!
xo
I totally understand, Sharon. You would think with all the things I've been through and God has seen me through them, I would have that strong unshakeable type of faith, but there are moments I'm ashamed to admit where I find myself sinking. I do remind myself "Lord this didn't catch you by surprise, you knew this would happen" and just try to trust in him and have faith in him. Our pastor is doing a series of sermons on faith and he says God will allow things to build up our faith in him, troubles, trials, difficult transitions (ouch that got me since I have had a lot of difficult transitions :) And we just have to trust in him and have faith he is working, even when it doesn't make any sense. I'm sorry it is a rough time for you with "life's little surprises" but I know Jesus is right there walking alongside you and to him, everything is under control with his perfect timing and his perfect will for his glory! (I'll keep you in my prayers)
ReplyDeletebetty
Blessings Sharon... Did you really hit rock bottom? Ten hold on to the ROCK and let Him put your faith back on solid ground!
ReplyDeleteI have not read 3 0r 4 days worth of posts, but I will get here just not today. Focusing my faith on God's Promises and prayer today but you know I'll be back! Only wanted to leave a word so you knew that I knew that we both are not MIA
just... doing REAL life!
Love and peace,
Peggy
Oh Sharon, I LOVE THIS!
ReplyDeleteI love the line, "If he isn't God when I'm afraid... He isn't God."
That really spoke to me.
I do not know why I ever miss a post. It blesses me every time I come.
As I read the beginning of this, all I could think of was Elijah and his mountain top experience against the prophets of Baal. He was on such a spiritual high... and then WHAM, he falls into his famous depression.
For obvious reasons, this emotional extremist really gets that passage.
Oh, my friends!
ReplyDeleteYou truly will never know what your kind and encouraging words have meant to me. I am reminded that the Lord has not left us alone in this world. Yes, He has given us the tremendous gift of His Holy Spirit - but He has also given us each other. I am bolstered by your friendship - it is good to know that comfort is just a blog post away!
Thank you for your thoughts, and continuing prayers...as I pray for all of you.
Looking toward the sky, from whence cometh my help! God is good - all the time. And if He doesn't calm this storm, He will help me to walk on water!
GOD BLESS!
first a correction from last comment above from me..."then HOLD ON... " not sure what 'ten hold on' means often or then...either make more sense.
ReplyDeleteTHEN, my dear sister in Christ, Sharon... how I can so relate to this (sad to say). I am one who way too often based stuff on feelings. It has been a long struggle to put facts and faith ahead of my feelings. But then again, I'm so thankful for a heart that understands. That's what you have and are...A BIG HEART!...a sweet heart...a tender heart and even being mature, does not give us instant faith, or faith that can move mountains. But when we are weak, and often I am... HE IS STRONG, and I must wait in His strength and hold on. The tide must turn.
I am learning to depend on Him more fully. Remember, we need to be a FROG!
Fully Rely On God
"Unto the hills" or mountains in your case, from whence cometh your help...yes, wekeep our eyes on the skies... but here is the verse:
Psalm 121:1-2
I lift up my eyes to the mountains—
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the LORD,
the Maker of heaven and earth.
He is there! He is with you! He will calm the sea. He will help you walk on water. He will rest with you in the back of the boat and wait for you to join Him and trust Him. It seems like every time life is going smooth, we feel confident, solid, grounded...it's when we get kicked (or worse, kicked when we're down) that we flounder and allow the enemy to knock us over with another dilemma, but God will triumph. He's waiting to show His power. His power in you!
Some trust in...but as today's new post, it looks like you trust in Chariots of Fire:
"Some trust in chariots, and some in horses: but we will remember the name of the LORD our God."
Not much more I can say,then praying and sending my love and trusting in His Spirit with you through the fire... He is faithful and your faith is sprouting!!! Maybe it's growing wings!
Love and peace,
Peggy
(maybe I should have had YOU write my Secret Garden post for today~Monday)
Hi Sharon -
ReplyDeleteAnd you will come forth as pure GOD because on Christ the solid ROCK you stand - all other ground is sinking sand.
See you at the swimming pool, lady!
Peggy - What a pleasure to return to Blog Land and have the chance to read this very encouraging comment. Oh, how I am helped by your words. Yes, it's difficult sometimes to put facts and faith before feelings. I think when you're a sensitive person (like I know we both are) - this is a particularly hard challenge. I think that God gives us our deep feelings, but even those must be brought under His sovereignty and control. Our feelings must always be grounded in and motivated by the Truth. "Ribbit, ribbit..." (That's my best FROG imitation!!)
ReplyDeleteSandra - Sometimes I'm barely keeping afloat, and sometimes I'm swimming a fast crawl. BUT, I'm in God's swimming pool with you - and we are going to out-lap every enemy in our way! Praise God - HE is our victory!
GOD BLESS!