Monday, September 12, 2011


Do you remember your first crush?

I sure do.

His name was Donald. (I remember his last name to this day – but I'm respecting his privacy!)

It was in kindergarten.

I used to think about him all the time. I dreamed of someday marrying him. (Yeah, buddy – I'M the one that got away…) I even got up my nerve one day and kissed him on the cheek (can a five-year-old be a wanton hussy??) Of course, then I ran away and couldn't even say hi to him for like 80 weeks.

I still have our class picture from kindergarten. There I am in the front rowall chubby-cheeked and innocent. There he is in the back row tall, blond, and handsome. Ah, sweet puppy love…

Obviously, destiny pulled us in opposite directions. But I still remember him…

I’ve been "in like""in infatuation" "in lust" – and "in love" many times since. (Well, not many, but enough…) I've had some powerful feelings that overwhelmed me at times. And, I'm so fortunate to be married now to my true love, and my best friend (cue the *awww's* here).

But, there was something about Donald. About that very young girl's heart – and that very sweet boy – and that pure, innocent first love that I can still remember.

It was precious.

You know, a long time ago I fell in love with another guy.

I thought he was the most wonderful person in the whole world. I thought about him all the time. I dreamed about marrying him. If I could have, I would have run up to him and kissed him on the cheek…

His name?


There was something about the first time I met Him, the first time I fell in love with Him that was powerful and overwhelming.

I can recall that very young girl's heart – and that very sweet Jesus – and that pure, innocent first love that I can still remember.

Do I love Him the same way now?

For a long, long time I didn't. Oh, I loved Him, sure enough. But other people, other priorities, other worries and concerns had crowded into my life and replaced Him. He stood quietly in the background for a long time. If I happened to glance in His direction, He would look at me with such longing in His eyes, and He would put His arms out to me…

Sometimes, I'd smile and say, "I'll be right there"as life whisked me off in other directions. Sometimes, I'm sad to say, I just downright ignored Him. And once, I intentionally turned my back on Him to follow after the siren call of sinful desires.

I just know I made Him cry.

My bridegroom.

The One who used to fill up my whole heart.

But, you know, a funny thing happened along the way. I found out that "in like" was pretty shallow. "In infatuation" was fleeting. "In lust" was pretty seductive. And "in love" was mind-consuming. But, none of it lasted – none of it fulfilled the empty hole in my heart.

There was nothing that could replace that first love – the pure love between a very small, very young little girl and her very precious, dear Jesus.

Jesus had a message to the church in Ephesus – it's found in Revelation 2:

"But I have this complaint against you. You don't love me…as you did at first! Look how far you have fallen!"

Does that just bring tears to your eyes like it does to mine?

So, a few years ago, I returned to my first love and I found a miracle. Jesus had never ever wandered away from me. He had never ever left me. He had never ever stopped waiting for me.

And when I began to walk back to Him, He started running to me.

At the age of 54, I became chubby-cheeked and innocent again. I became totally overwhelmed with love for my Savior. I became full with the fulfilling and complete Love of the One…

Sometimes I don't understand how He works (or doesn't) in my life. Sometimes I don't understand my trials and difficulties. Sometimes He seems a little silent and distant.

Sometimes I struggle to trust Him.

But, there isn't a day that goes by that I don't hear Him asking me in the depths of my soul, just like He asked Peter so very long ago…

"Sharon, do you love Me?"

And there isn't a day that goes by that I don’t answer Him from the depths of my soul…

"Oh Lord, you know that I love You."

His love brings tears to my eyes, even now as I sit writing this.

Yes, my love has been shaded by years of living life – but it has never been extinguished. In so many ways, it burns brighter than ever.

And with every ounce of this very small, very young little girl's heart, I adore Him.

When is the last time you sat down and really, really thought about how much you love Jesus?

Is today the day to return to your first love?

BLOG = "Blessedly Leaning On God!"


  1. I didn't go to kindergarten. I'm not sure it was even available way back then. At least not to everyone. But first grade. Yes, I was in love with Dean. I've never been aggressive, but I still remember going up to him and kissing him on the cheek. Interesting side note. Our son's middle name is Dean. Coincidence - definitely. Maybe. LOL

  2. Ahhhhhhhhhh a beautiful LOVE story! Thanks Sharon for writing such lovely inspirations and thoughts of our First Love... just a drop of a tear formed but the sentiment runs so deep. Yes, in fact, I hear Him calling for our special time together. He's been WAITING again.

    We have had to be reacquainted many times(far too often)because of my "likes, loves, infatuations and lusts" where I decided I could not return to Him so shameful, tainted and used.
    Without that innocence, I felt I no longer deserved to be in His Presence... no longer PURE. In fact, no amount of confession could make be cleansed in my eyes, but I'm so thankful that I can see me through His eyes! It is this same rationale that kept me from becoming a nun (religious sister in the Catholic Church) that take vows of obedience, poverty and purity. They believe that Jesus becomes their Bridegroom and that they become His Bride (their vows are to Him and they wear a ring).

    As you may tell this is what your kindergarten romance stirred in me. A blast from the past. It might be because I'm looking into the study at Internet Cafe Devotions on "PURE EMOTION" ... that started yesterday/today that I'm getting in touch with some of my "pure emotions" and I know that Only Jesus can fill the void that one has... and only He can cleanse me to be worthy of being His Bride. Yes, it is written, "Some day My Prince will come... some day My True Love..." I'm getting ready, how 'bout you? Yeah, I know...

    Love at first sight... first love, unrequited love, unconditional love but only God's love is the REAL LOVE... ahhhh I love your love story!

    Blessings, much love and I'm praying,

  3. Wonderful reminder, Sharon, of who really matters; it is so easy to get distracted and forgot our first love with him; I know a reality check is always good to remember how much he loves us and conversely how much we love him!


  4. Beautiful post, as always Sharon.
    It reminds me of one of my favorite activities: every once in a while I'll have a date with my Jesus. I'll turn off my phone & my computer and spend an evening talking and spending quality time with Him.

    It's not a time for prayer, for supplication, or for direction. I don't ask Him for anything and He doesn't give me instruction or revelation. We just talk - about how much I love Him, about how much He loves me, about my favorite memories of Him ... all of our "firsts", and all of our hopes and dreams.

    Just thinking about or "date nights" puts a smile on my face. He really is the LOVE of my life =)

  5. The original Love - when did I first love Jesus - man that was so long ago - I have to say my world is so busy sometimes Sharon I forget - thanks for the reminder.

  6. Jesus has been with me through all the pains and joys of life. Seems like I love Him more each day. And still don't come close to the depth and height of God's love. Good reminder, Sharon, to keep our love fresh and true.


  7. I can't remember whether I've ever told you my testimony or not, but you just hit on the very heart and soul of it. It was a moment in time when I realized that I didn't love Him the way he deserved to be loved. Oh, I loved him... kind of like the boy next door. I would defend Him and spend time with Him when it was good for ME, but really... He wasn't the boy I wanted to take me to the prom. Make sense?

    And then, one day, I literally got down on my face in the den and told God that I wanted to love him the way he deserved to be loved. From that day on, I feel in love with that Boy Next Door. Every day, I love him more. Sometimes, when I'm driving or walking or alone, I stop in awe of the fact that I love Him so. Really.

    You see, I know Debbie. I know her heart. For me to love Him as much as I do is one of God's greatest miracles. Ever.

  8. Wanting to run away with my love as we speak. Mushroom teas are sweet escapes . . . and even my much anticipated weekend in Lancaster with hubby - LONG overdue - is comforting to look forward to. But, none can replace the simplicity of just loving Him - consumed.

    I make little sense here. VERY difficult day at work today. Things looking grim. Overwhelmed at present. I feel like I'm losing my identity in the new work environment I find myself. Wings clipped - and caged. Knowing it is because of Who I love. Need physical, mental, spiritual, and creative strength to go forward.

    Thanks for posting.
    Joy in the journey . . .

  9. No ones kiss or arms around me could make me feel as secure and loved as when I need it and ask Jesus for his comfort that I envision a touch from him and always feel comforted and loved again. Your life stories are always wonderfully told and with such deep thought. Thanks for sharing. Have a wonderful week.

  10. Beautiful post...yes to love Him completely and totally sold prayer also

  11. Hi Sharon, It's always an honour and great pleasure to read your life stories. You write so many things from which I can and do learn from.

    As it is written in the Scriptures "I know all the things you do. I have seen your hard work and your patient endurance."

    The believers at Ephesus did work hard, suffering much. And we would do well to pay attention here, to the life lesson God has for us all. None of their hard work or suffering with patience and endurance mattered at all. Labour is not a substitute for God's love, then or now.

    God is a God of many chances, after pointing out to the believers at Ephesus that they had abandoned their first love, he immediately provided them with the solution "Turn back to me and do the works you did at first. If you don't repent..."

    And the same goes for all believers today.

    I hope you're having a good week. All God's Best, Kerrie

  12. Had to laugh at Charlotte's comment about Dean! HAHA!!

    This was a great post, Sharon. For a lot of years I definitely lost touch with my first love. When I married my husband, I was so in love with him that I didn't need Jesus. My man took care of all my needs, and I loved him with all my heart, soul, mind and strength. Boy was that a mistake! He might have committed adultery, but I committed idolatry. I put him above God. Now I wear a promise ring on my left finger that shows that I'm married to Jesus first, then my wedding ring. I'll never get that order mixed up again!

  13. this is such a beautiful post and i am so blessed by it. indeed our love for Jeses keeps changing but he is always faithful and his love is constant.
    thanks for sharing!
    peggy aplSEEDS

  14. Isn't it such a blessing to be in love with the One who loved us first??

    I so enjoyed all your comments! Thanks for always sharing your insights with me - and for being so vulnerable with your hearts.

    May we continue to love Jesus just like we did in the beginning - with all of our hearts and minds and souls and strength. He alone is worthy of all our devotion.



"So [I] have been greatly encouraged in the midst of [my] troubles and suffering, dear brothers and sisters, because you have remained strong in your faith. It gives [me] new life to know that you are standing firm in the Lord. How [I] thank God for you!" (1 Thessalonians 3:7-9)

Thanks for your comments - it is such a joy to be sharing my journey with friends like YOU!

(NOTE: Anonymous comments will be removed. Thank you for understanding.)