Bone weary tired.
Ever feel like that?
Let me tell you about a time when I was so very tired. It happened when I was in the 5th grade (yes, waaay back then…). I was a rather active, normal child until one day I started feeling really run down.
After a while, my mom got concerned – after all, a weary 10-year-old is not a normal thing. She took me to the doctor.
You know, I really hated the doctor because I was TERRIFIED of needles. I used to faint…
Yup, needle in – Sharon down.
So, visits to the doctor were quite traumatic for me.
But this time, when my mom took me to the doctor, I didn't care. I felt so awful that it didn't matter what they did to me. They ran lots of tests, including several blood workups. My blood counts were all off – fortunately, I did not have leukemia – but I did have an unusual virus similar to mononucleosis.
I remember getting very ill, very quickly after that.
So weak that the doctor had to come to my house to see me – yes, remember the good old days?? – house calls!
That first week I was so *out of it.* I slept all the time, miserable with symptoms. I missed a total of FIVE weeks of school – which is quite a lot when you're only 10. And I couldn't do anything at recess or P.E. for another three months! It was quite a long time before I finally got my stamina back.
I've been sick and tired plenty of times since those days, but maybe never quite that sick or tired. And I will never forget the sense of helplessness I had, laying in that bed, my mind in a fog, so tired that I couldn't even think…
It was scary, and discouraging, and HARD.
But there is a different kind of weary that can invade the human soul.
Bone weary tired.
The *tired* that is more than a weary body – a *tired* that permeates an exhausted mind and a debilitated spirit. When one feels emotionally spent, and spiritually defeated – when one is tempted to Just. Plain. Give. Up.
Ever been there?
I sure have.
Been there a few times lately, too. Wondering and waiting – tossed by life circumstances. Exhausted by my own strivings to figure things out – defeated by my inability to stand strong.
I need a house call…
Why do I insist on doing this to myself? Why must I beat myself into defeated submission? Why do I have to come to this point of exhaustion before I turn to God?
I think the Lord asks me why, too –
But I am learning something in this tired state (slowly, but I'm learning…) – I am learning that some of God's greatest lessons are learned in weariness.
"He uncovers mysteries hidden in darkness; he brings light to the deepest gloom." (Job 12:22)
Yes, there are secret things that God can only teach me when I'm weary – I'm convinced of this truth. Because in my exhaustion, I hear Him in a different way – He's close, He's gentle, He's comforting. And He teaches me how to be humble, how I must rely and depend on ONLY Him.
God gives me the gift of running out of my own steam.
It's no wonder that Jesus invited us to come to Him – to take on His yoke. He knew the stubborn way we oxen strive to work on our own – until we completely tire ourselves out.
But, He promises rest – glorious rest – to those who lay their burdens down, and let Him carry the load. Just turn to Him…
"Stop at the crossroads and look around. Ask for the old, godly way, and walk in it. Travel its path, and you will find rest for your souls." (Jeremiah 6:16)
Bone weary tired – yes, but learning how to rest…
How do you tire yourself out? What do you need to do to find God's rest, and to lean on Him for strength?
BLOG = "Blessedly Leaning On God!"
Bone tired.
ReplyDeleteThat's what I call it.
For me, it's a way of life since the fibro. I do OK until the spiritual tired permeates to my bones as well. And then, I just sort of sit there in my pit.
Well... you asked. I can't be less than honest.
I'm motivated by your post to let God reveal some mysteries to me.
(And about the house calls, I well remember them. In fact, a favorite family story is about a visit from our beloved Dr. Bob to check the progress of an ailing sister. I, however, was so convinced for some reason that he was there to administer shots that I hid under the bed the minute I spotted his car in the drive.)
I would tell someone who feels like this today... go and read Sharon's blog! Sharon, re-read your own words. We have all felt it, and everything you said above is exactly the solution, so we can be in the middle of bone weary and still know that God is there, and He is going to rescue us. I think His gift in your words comes clearly through, even if the words are for you. I know all who read this will both relate, and be encouraged! I do and I am.
ReplyDeletexo
Dear Sharon,
ReplyDeleteIt's been a while since my visit but I've thought of you. I pray right now for the One you need to make the "house visit" to you right now...the LORD.
I so agree with Sonja above--re-read your words. I've been there too so while I circumstance may be different, I do understand.
I'm hugging you know and praying for you before I leave your blog. Thank yo for your transparency today. May all that you pour out to us be poured back into you.
Stand firm in the faith!
Much love!
Once again, your words have pierced deep in to my soul....
ReplyDeleteWhen I am tired - that tired - I get or get closer to God because I rest in him! Almost like there is no choice.
ReplyDeleteAnd Andy started 5th grade today and I can't imagine missing 5 weeks and passing!
Hi Sharon
ReplyDeleteYes I remember house calls. I also relate to how you are feeling, thank you for sharing this and being so honest. I know you will feel better, because you are seeking healing in the right place, lifting you in prayer now.
God Bless - Nita.
I shut off all noise or maybe put instrumental praise on and get quiet. I visualize the Lord with me and I draw my strength from Him and His presence. May He supercharge you!
ReplyDeleteI just told a friend today that I think these times are necessary. These time of emptying and pouring out...times that make us desperate for our Maker...desperate to worship and find and be close...desperate to be filled by the only One who truly satisfies...
ReplyDeleteThank you for another reminder to rest and look to Him from where my strength comes. Blessings, Sharon...and may God fill those empty, tired places this week...
Blessings Sharon... I can relate and your words encourage me, as I pray they did you also.
ReplyDeleteI woke up at 1 am and recalled that although I read your blog post, I failed to leave a comment, I'm so sorry... I must have been too tired... but not bone weary tired (lol) and even though I was awakened with this thought, again too weary to go and connect, so I just prayed for you and RESTED! This has been the way many nights now.
When you related your childhood experience, I recalled my bout with the actual mono when I was in 10th grade (not 10 yo), and it was near tryouts for cheerleading. Nothing was going to keep me from that, not even mono. But I do remember the wiped out, bed ridden weeks. Maybe it was 11th grade, because I was a cheerleader both 10th and 12th but not 11th (perhaps that was why). The other time would have been when I
battled clinical depression.
I'm so thankful for God's Promises of REST! I'm sure Our Lord has asked me those same questions.
I love how He (and your writings)brought light to the gloom and the mysteries hidden. I wonder, do you think we get to the exhaustion for just that purpose: to listen more intently to His gentle, comforting whisper. For what you wrote, it seems so. Truly ONLY God can reach us in the depth of that pit and draw us in His strength and words of Light & Life.
I prayed (and will pray) that your 'bone weary tired'leaves dem bones... and you are refreshed by the Holy Spirit, God's Word, encouragement from REAL friends and your weary comrades in the blogging world (that can lift your spirit just with a WORD on that beautiful messages you share with us)...yes, ENCOURAGEMENT is so uplifting. Perhaps that is why we are reminded to share one another's burdens and give thanks in ALL things.
May you be satisfied in Him as you lean and the burden is lifted and you gain strength in Him and through others. Bless you my dearest siesta!
Love and sweet hug,
Peggy
Bone tired....very different to me than physically tired, it means it makes even your bones hurt...which for me is usually when I am emotionally spent. God meets me there also, He is the lifter of my head, He reminds me, that I need to stop striving.
ReplyDeleteOh this was the lessons so strongly spoken yesterday as a dear love one said, "I am tired of trying"...which was connected to I don't believe...my answer back, "that is the best place to be...you aren't suppose to be trying, you are suppose to be receiving the gift."
I got off the phone in tears as my heart was aching and I had to listen and take in the same words, "Janette, stop trying and receive"...the only way to avoid being bone tired.
Sharon - You've just described in exact detail how I have felt for a while now - coming to a head during the month of July and at present, my bones actually do ache. Seeing my chiropractor on Friday for a much needed adjustment - pinched nerves wreaking havoc! But, that's just on the surface - I'm depleted emotionally, spiritually, mentally. And I have to go back to school next week - my curriculum is due the end of this week.
ReplyDeleteTime to get on the receiving end of God's Grace!!!
Joy!
Kathy
While I was reading your first couple of paragraphs, I was transported back to *my* fifth grade year. Do you believe *I* had mono when I was 10...over Christmas. It was awful - tore down my immune system and ended up with case after case of strep throat. Long story short, I relate *perfectly*. That memory is vivid, no matter how long ago.
ReplyDeleteMy more-recent bone-tired times come from when I carry my own burdens. The control freak in me predominates and God-provided relief is the farthest thing from my mind.
Let me just say, I am LOVING your Old Testament references. Talk about tired times...
And thank you, friend, for your constant encouragement. I know you aren't "plugging", but even if you were, it's what I needed to get back over here and read your inspired words. You are in my prayers!
Hi Sharon -
ReplyDeleteWe do have our moments. To everything there is a season. GOD, thankfully, is an all season Father. How grateful we are for that, indeed!
One of the greatest gifts that God gives us is the encouragement that comes from the Body of Christ. I was so blessed by your comments. Thank you for sharing your heart with me.
ReplyDeleteThough I am sorry that so many of you have felt that *bone weary tired* I was talking about - I was comforted in knowing that I am not alone in those moments.
God is with us - sometimes especially in those moments when we're too tired to worry, fret, or control things - when we're just so tired that all we can do is listen. That's often when He meets us in a new and powerful way.
"Hello, dear Child, I've been waiting for you..."
May each of you rest in the Truth that His mercies are new each morning, and that His compassions never fail. That His strength is made perfect in our weakness. That He is the One who helps us soar on wings like eagles...
GOD BLESS!