Monday, October 10, 2011


Lean not.

Yes, I know…

But I'm really having trouble with that lately.

You see, it's been a long few months with all sorts of "issues" in my family (medical, financial, emotional - you've got the same stuff). And quite frankly, I'm exhausted. Really, really tired. Emotionally, physically – and yes, even a little spiritually.

I just can't seem to understand why God won't bring a little respite from it all.

I feel like I've been climbing up the side of a mountain – making a little progress here and there – sliding back quite often – but definitely running out of energy and motivation.

Lord, could I just have a few ledges here and there to rest on – just for a moment?

A couple of weeks ago, I shared with you a calling that God has been bringing to my heart. I think He's been pretty clear about it, and I believe that He's given me several confirmations. However, as soon as I started telling people about it, as soon as I blogged about it – negative things started happening in my life.

And I just don't understand.

Yes, intellectually I know that we are to expect struggles and suffering and difficulties in this life. I KNOW. But oh, I am having trouble understanding why the way has become so wrought with "onethingafteranother"…

Lord, I'm tired.

And I'm tired of trying to figure it all out.

(Yes, I did hear the Lord just say, "Precisely.")

So, of course, in the middle of this, I had one of those "love/hate my devotional" moments (I blogged about that here). I'm reading in Matthew right now, and I came upon this verse:

"But the gateway to life is very narrow and the road is difficult, and only a few find it." (Matthew 7:14)

I've heard or read this verse countless times before. But something jumped out at me this time.

Yes, I know the road is narrow – very narrow.

But, Jesus Himself said it is ALSO difficult.

I began to see a new truth in this. As I increasingly seek to follow Jesus ever more closely, the road will not only get more narrow, it will get more difficult.

Jesus does indeed turn everything upside down. And though I might expect an easier way as I follow Him more and more – He tells me it will become harder. The narrow path will lead into the thick woods, and through dense thickets, and the sun might grow dimmer, and the air much colder.

The path might become overgrown and I will need my Guide more and more. The way will become hard…

Cross-carrying is like that.

Jesus knew that – He knows that.

That's why He promised that though we will have many trials and sorrows on this earth, He will give us peace in HIM.

"…take heart, I have overcome the world." (John 16:33)

Those words are indeed heartening.

I was talking to my son the other day – we were commiserating about our various trials. And then this is what I said to him:

"You know, if someone was to ask me how I feel about the Lord right now, I'd say I don't think I've ever felt closer to Him. The less I know, the more I love Him."

I stopped myself.

I realized that I had spoken without thinking – that this was not a thought that came from my mind, but rather straight from my innermost heart. My spirit had cried out.

Yes, the less I understand – the more I love Him, the more I rely on Him, the more I trust Him.

In all my ways, I am seeking to acknowledge Him.

And He has promised to direct my paths. NOT to make the road less narrow. NOT to make the way easier. NOT to appease my understanding.

But, to lead me where He leads.

As long as I see Him ahead of me, beside me, behind me – I will follow.

Lean not.

I will only lean on the everlasting arms of my Savior. Tired little soul that I am, I will lean…

The less I know, the more I love Him.

How about you? Where are you leaning without understanding?

(Come join me today at HEAR IT ON SUNDAY, USE IT ON MONDAY!)

BLOG = "Blessedly Leaning On God!"


  1. Sharon:

    I have clung to the words found in John 16:33 many times in my life. Especially those times when I wanted to lean on my on understanding.

    You are right, He never said he would make the road wider, but that He will direct our paths.

    Great post to begin my Monday!

  2. Oh Sharon,

    I could have written some of this blog. Especially some of the opening paragraphs. I just long for some encouragement, to be getting something right at the moment. I have been moaning and complaining to God this morning and asking for spiritual vitamin pills, pain killers, sticky plasters for wounds. I and my family seem to have so many problems at the moment too, but I am aware of the many places and people in the world, who have so many more. But that doesn't stop me getting tired discouraged and this morning, on mental health day, a little depressed. Thank you for this blog, because now I feel a little less alone.

    God Bless - Nita.

  3. Oh, my, how I identified with the evolving light that shone on your heart as you wrote these words. You began tired and questioning God for the difficulties in your life. Then after letting the Word sink into your heart, you began to understand. The spiritual fatigue and doubt began to fade away to insight and wisdom as to what He is doing. What a wonderful post. God bless.

  4. I can identify with you in your place right now. God has given us some crazy faith assignments in the past few years and when we talk about them to others they give us "the" look. We stand fast in His words to us, backed by His Word. This journey of faith is difficult, exhausting and exciting, too.

  5. So true! God and His understanding are so far above our own, We can trust His ways always. His plan is the right one. When we lean on Him, He will support us through the narrow road...

    Blessings, Joan

  6. Surprising to see how much we are actually gaining and gleaning from those in-between experiences. May you continue to lean upon Him.

  7. Didn't he put obstacles in Paul's life too - he wants you to overcome them - maybe? Love, sandie

  8. Oh, I don't think I wanted to hear that the path will get more difficult. But I have been singing something about "Blessed be your name on the road marked with suffering." I just am lacking the energy to keep plodding along~or is it lacking the will to surrender to His will and not my plan?
    Sounds like I need to "Lean In" more on Him than on me.
    Great sharing yesterday!

  9. I remember going through seasons where there was just a lot on my plate and I would pray for a bit of a break between crises. It is hard when we go through so much because we do get so weary, but in looking back, they are sometimes the best growing times too. It is good to know that God is walking alongside us and we can find comfort in his word, even the tough words when he says things will be difficult, but then we have to remember he also said "I will never leave you, I will never abandon you, do not be discouraged, the Lord goes before you wherever you go."

    praying for you Sharon!

    (oh, at church yesterday the person doing the sermon said she had been praying for someone for 16 years daily for them come to know Jesus; she found out last week through his son that he was attending a Bible study at a different church, hasn't committed himself yet, but a step in the right direction, so we just need to keep praying.......)


  10. I came here yesterday morning and tried to leave a comment, and then began a day of internet or personal computer woes or something. Just another day in paradise...

    This post spoke volumes to me. I think that because I (we) love Bible study, I have fallen into a trap of thinking that somehow I can wrap my head around the reasons for things in my life if I just KNOW HIM more. The truth of this post that God put on your heart is that I will never really be able to understand it all this side of Heaven.

    And on that side of Heaven, I won't care.

    This girl who likes on gnaw on that bone until I know the truth of things must learn to really let go and just trust.

  11. I am always trying to analyze everything because I have to understand and know. Because of that trait I am a worry wart and constantly spend way to much energy trying to figure things out instead of just following the leader and let him show the way. I always want to be in control and lead. It's hard for me to put my life into God's hands even when in my heart it's the way I have always wanted to go. The mind always want to control. I often hold so much tension inside myself that is so unnessesary. I have to be reminded often to let go. That is where I know my trials are needed so I will learn to let God's way be my path because my way sure as heck is not working.

  12. Sharon, you are climbing that mountain of faith! Your honesty illustrates just how intimate your relationship with Christ is. This post feels like a mirror to my own heart, and your words echo my own sentiments. I must love God A LOT because I rarely understand His movements in my life! Thank you for such inspiring insights!

  13. Hi Sharon,

    Just wanted to thank you for your visit and comment and paste for you here the comment I left under it (in case you don't see it on my blog)
    @Sharon, Hallelujah, thank you and neither shall I with God's help, let my joyful harp be silent. I agree with you Joy is a choice. Blessings.
    13/10/11 9:47 PM

  14. Hi Sharon -

    Yes, we must pick up our crosses to follow Him.
    There is nothing and no one better to follow than GOOD GOD ALMIGHTY, JESUS, AND THE HOLY SPIRIT.

    Oh Hallelujah - it is so worth it.

  15. Ahh too! I'm with you...leaning, praying, trying to rest, hoping! I think this one was in my head as I commented on the "Drill Team"!

    So 'nuff said...this one speaks volumes to me too! So I will cling to John 16:33 and BELIEVE!



"So [I] have been greatly encouraged in the midst of [my] troubles and suffering, dear brothers and sisters, because you have remained strong in your faith. It gives [me] new life to know that you are standing firm in the Lord. How [I] thank God for you!" (1 Thessalonians 3:7-9)

Thanks for your comments - it is such a joy to be sharing my journey with friends like YOU!

(NOTE: Anonymous comments will be removed. Thank you for understanding.)