Monday, March 5, 2012

DIRTY LAUNDRY

OK, I've got a good story for you.

Let's start at the very beginning…

One day last week, "The Hub" and I went out to do our weekly errands marketing, mailing bills, going to the bank, etc.

"The Hub" is really finicky about where he parks his Jeep. (I'm the same way about Eddie, my car). So, we park in the alley behind the market and the stores.

This day, we pulled into our usual place to park, got out of the car, and went and did our errands.

When we started to walk back to the car, through an area between two buildings, I saw *something* lying on the asphalt next to one of the parking spaces.

Upon closer inspection, I realized that it was a pair of fancy black…ahem…undies.

I was appalled.

I called "The Hub" over.

"Look at this," I said as I pointed to the offending dainty.

"Huh," said "The Hub" – rather nonchalantly.

"Don't you think that's disgusting?" I said.

"Someone probably just dropped them on the way to the cleaners," he replied. And then, he continued on his way to the car.

Well, I quickly dismissed the possibility of accidental panty-dropping – because, after all, who has their underwear dry-cleaned? (I apologize if any of you out there do that…)

So, here I am, conjuring up all sorts of nasty mind images of some rude, promiscuous femaledoing her "thing" in the backseat of a car (or, even worse, maybe a truck) in the alleyway behind the market.

My expression morphed from disdain to revulsion to out-and-out contempt. Probably some out-of-control teenager – (redundant phrase) – I thought. Or maybe someone from one of the stores on a *quickie* break. A secret, sin-filled rendezvous, perhaps. Maybe even a torrid, terrible affair.

The longer I stood looking at the pair of *unmentionables*the more judgmental I became.

But then, all of a sudden, things changed.

I thought perhaps I recognized something.

I bent over and looked closer.

"Wait a minute…" I thought to myself. "That little satin bow looks kinda familiar."

"The Hub" called out to me, "Are you coming or what?"

"Come here for a second," I said to him, a bit puzzled.

He walked over.

"I think I recognize these panties," I said to him.

"What?? How could you?"

I whispered quietly to him, "Because I think they're mine."

Well, "The Hub" picked up the fancy blackahemundies – and sure enough, upon closer inspection, I realized that they were indeed…MINE!

How did that happen, you may ask?

(You can ask – "The Hub" sure did!)

Evidently the night before, being extra tired, I pulled off my jeans and my underwear at the same time. Then, the next morning, I didn't see the "old" pair in my jeans when I put on the "new" pair.

So, as I walked to the market, the underwear snaked its way down my pants leg, only to emerge out of the bottom of my jeans.

Paints a pretty picture, doesn't it??

You think walking out of a bathroom with a random square of TP is embarrassing…can you only imagine what this would have been like if someone had noticed?

"Um, excuse me, Ma'am. You seem to have a "traveling" pair of panties coming out of your pants."

Wow.

Can you spell awkward?

I knew you could.

"The Hub" erupted into laughter. I broke out in shame.

Because, you see, I had judged this "other woman." I had thought terrible things about her (lack of) character. I had labeled her a tart, a trollop, a floozy, a harlot, a hussy, a slut. (Don't worry – these words weren't at the tip of my tongue – I used my Thesaurus).

In short, I had passed incredible judgment upon the owner of these wanton unmentionables, only to realize that "I was she."

It was a good lesson.

It's so easy to make snap judgments, to jump to conclusions without having all of the facts. We humans (especially we women?) are so prone to deeming ourselves better than the next person. I think there's some inherent tug/pull between pride and insecurity that drives us to the compelling urge to compare ourselves with others.

I know I have that gene.

It's part and parcel of the sin-flawed nature I was born with.

The takeaway of this little incident? (Besides the "knock-down-my-smugness-a-notch-or-ten" lesson???)

Well, of course – as Jesus said, "Do not judge others, and you will not be judged."

He goes on to say why:

"For you will be treated as you treat others. The standard you use in judging is the standard by which you will be judged."

OUCH.

I realized that my standard of judgment had come from an almost instantaneous place of condemnation. I assumed the worst, with absolutely no information to assume that.

What does that say about me?

Besides the great laugh that I had at my expense – which I think I rightly deserved – I was chagrined at the ugliness that often lies just behind my "righteous façade."

Though I am a child of God, I've really got a long way to go.

Lord, forgive me for my self-righteous tendencies, and for my quick judgment of others. Teach me how to be more gracious, and to believe the best about people. Don't let me fall into the temptation of making easy assumptions when I don't have all the facts. And most of all, thank you that You don't judge me in the way that I deserve.


The moral of the story?

Be careful whose *dirty laundry* you condemn – it might just turn out to be yours!


"And why worry about a speck in your friend's eye when you have a log in your own?" (Matthew 7:4)

"Do to others whatever you would like them to do to you." (Matthew 7:12)

"Look beneath the surface so you can judge correctly." (John 7:24)

"Don't speak evil against each other…" (James 4:11)

"When you say they are wicked…you are condemning yourself, for you who judge others do these very same things." (Romans 2:1)

"Love…is ever ready to believe the best of every person…"
(1 Corinthians 13:7, AMP)

"So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus." (Romans 8:1)


Have you ever made a *snap judgment* of someone and been totally wrong?


Linked today with:
Charlotte at SPIRITUAL SUNDAYS


BLOG = "Blessedly Leaning On God!"

14 comments:

  1. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

    And yes, I did just use the taboo exclamation multiplication. I used seven of them, in fact, since this is just perfect in every way. It's perfectly hilarious, and it's perfectly teachable. We have a God with an unbelievable sense of humor, and timing. He is truly the master of the teachable moment.

    Oh Sharon, you just made my day.

    Going now to check my pants leg. I wouldn't want any granny panties slipping out in front of God and everybody.

    Be blessed today, my friend, in proportion to this blessing.

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  2. Oh Sharon,

    What a laugh you gave me firstly. That happened to me once too, but fortunately for me, I was inside the house, when the offending object, made itself visible. hahahaha - you have given me the giggles.

    But I can also see the serious lesson here and it is one I need to meditate on too.

    So with a big smile still on my face, I will leave you now.

    God Bless the rest of your week.

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  3. I was laughing through my tears so much I was having a hard time reading the lesson part of the story, even though I had already gotten the lesson even before reading.

    I just think God has such a great sense of humor...just too funny. And isn't it amazing how we never would have thought about it being something else besides something bad?

    You have now shared your "dirty underwear" lesson well...and I would be red in the face...but one positive side, at least you have good looking panties...my granny type underwear would have be recognizable and wouldn't have left room for thoughts of...well you know...I would have been feeling sorry for the old lady!

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  4. Priceless!!! If you had deliberately set out to write a blog on 'judge not'... you wouldn't have come up with a better illustration in 100 years!!

    Laughing again as I read this. This one wins first prize!! :)

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  5. I'm still smiling. Thanks for sharing this hilariously funny lesson learned.
    Blessings,
    Charlotte

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  6. I'm back to tell you that I just read this to my daughter, and we voted it one of the best blog posts we've ever read. Just so great.

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  7. Too funny! Who would have thought God would give you this perfect illustration to write on judging others? Thanks for sharing and making the connection for us. The verses you shared are very convicting. Forgive me , when I judge, Lord.
    Blessings. We will all check our pants when we get dressed tomorrow. :)

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  8. Such a great lesson, I appreciate you being so willing to share this..I am going to remember this when I start going down that same road.

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  9. Ha ha! I just love you, Sharon! What a great story! You gave me quite a giggle this morning! But the point of your message is right on! We are so quick to judge others...to see something and assume the worst. And even if the "worst" were possibly true, do we stop and take time to pray for the person? What a great lesson! God alone can judge! Thanks for sharing this, um, "unmentionable" moment! lol I'm going to check my pant legs from now on!!

    Blessings, Joan

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  10. Now this was one great lesson and I will definitely remember it. sandie

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  11. Awesome post!!! A LOL and lesson all in one!!!

    Uh and I think I'll go check my jeans as I leave for the grocery store in a few minutes!!! : )))

    Sweet Blessings!
    Jackie

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  12. Ouch, indeed, my girl! I think we've all been in this place at one time or another - probably more often than we care to think. What a hoot of a story, though! Hilarious!!

    But, a sobering message - many thanks.

    On a lighter note - my blogversary of one year is this month. Posted a special something and just had to mention YOU!

    Do drop by . . .

    Joy!
    Kathy

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  13. Oh, Sharon! What a winner of an illustration. We had a similar incident happen at a Ruby's restaurant years ago with the kids. There was a black thong laying on the ground near our booth. Wasn't there when we were seated so it had obviously appeared in the mean time. My mind went through similar gyrations and we finally called a manager over to "dispose of the unmentionable." Enter in...lots of nervous laughter. It wasn't but a couple days later when in my "haste" in changing in a public restroom from clothing to beach attire, that it was brought to my attention that I had dropped "something" as I exited the restroom. Only to my horror as I looked down to notice that my own "hankey pankey" black lace number was lying on the ground for all eyes to see. I've never moved so quickly in my life to recover that item and I'm sure I was graced in three shades of red. Oh...yes...so easy to judge others when we don't have all the facts! Sister....your blog post needs to be submitted as an article. It's just fab!! Big hugs....

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"So [I] have been greatly encouraged in the midst of [my] troubles and suffering, dear brothers and sisters, because you have remained strong in your faith. It gives [me] new life to know that you are standing firm in the Lord. How [I] thank God for you!" (1 Thessalonians 3:7-9)

Thanks for your comments - it is such a joy to be sharing my journey with friends like YOU!

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