It’s almost 2:30 in the morning, and I can’t sleep.
I hate when this happens.
It makes me tired the next day, and crabby. It gives me bags under my eyes. It makes me have a headache. It upsets my stomach.
But, here’s why I really hate it.
Because I’m really vulnerable late at night. The enemy is right here – I can feel him. He is busy…
Telling lies to my heart – "You’re so worthless. You’ll never amount to anything."
Planting worries in my head – "What if, what if, what if…"
Making me doubt things – "Are you sure God is really good?"
"Are you sure He's really there?"
Every single thing that has bothered me for the last week comes knocking on the door – "Excuse me, but we understand that you’re very tired. Would this be a good time to come in and pester you incessantly?"
Like a broken record, the thoughts and feelings, doubts and fears, go over and over in my mind.
Lord, I feel so alone right now – and scared.
I’ve got the TV on just to have some noise. I’ve tried talking to You, but it feels like my voice is stopping at the ceiling.
Have any of you ever had this problem?
In desperation, I open my Bible. A "Bible Pick ‘Ems" on a Wednesday night (actually, make that a very early Thursday morning…)
And here’s what I read:
"I [Nehemiah] replied, ‘There is no truth in any part of your story. You are making up the whole thing.’ They were just trying to intimidate us, imagining that they could discourage us and stop the work. So I continued the work with even greater determination." (Nehemiah 6:8-9)
Oh Lord, what a perfect word for me – right now – in this moment!
Satan, you terrible old liar, there is NO truth in any part of your story.
You are making up the whole thing.
You’re just trying to intimidate me – thinking that you can discourage me, and stop the work of the Lord.
Ah ha! NO WAY!
I will continue the work with EVEN GREATER determination!
Nehemiah prayed for strength. He showed tremendous character, and remained steadfast. He did not give in to opposition. He refused to be cowed by taunting voices.
He stood tall and firm.
I want to do the same. I WILL do the same.
God’s Word has slapped my sword back in my hand.
So, I’m going to go shut my eyes now. After all, a warrior needs her sleep.
"I lay down and slept…for the LORD was watching over me…In peace I will lie down and sleep, for you alone, O LORD, will keep me safe."
(Psalm 3:5 and 4:8)
BLOG = "Blessedly Leaning On God!"