Thursday, March 24, 2011


Today my girlfriends and I are presenting our talk on understanding family relationships to a group of young moms.

Yeah, like we’ve got all the answers to that one!

I have a feeling they think we know what we’re talking about just because we’ve got a couple of decades on most of them. But, *mileage* should count for something, right? So, in our ignorant bliss, we’re presenting four aspects of what makes us who we are, and influences the way we interact with others and our world.

I’m doing birth order, "L" is doing personality types, "T" is doing introversion vs. extroversion, and "J" is doing the five love languages.

Just in case you’re interested, this is how I break down:

Birth Order: Firstborn

Personality Type: Melancholy

Temperament: Introvert

Love Language: Quality Time and Words of Affirmation

I think we’re going to be brilliant (at least in our own minds!) Seriously, if you’re reading this between 9:30 – 10:30 AM (PDT), we’d REALLY appreciate your prayers!

Right now, I’m putting the finishing touches on my part, and then it’s time to PRACTICE, PRACTICE, PRACTICE(Is there anyone else out there that detests the sound of their own voice?)

However, before I go do that – I had to write a post. I do have my priorities – yes, I do – and my blogging friends are right there at the top of the list.

So, here’s what I’m thinking. I’m all for learning and understanding why we "tick." It's a good thing when we’re armed with a little knowledge. I think it can make us better people, better spouses, better parents. I think it allows us to give ourselves, and others, a little grace – a little room to be the unique blend that all of us are.

But there’s a danger in all of this.


It’s all too easy to smack a quick label on someone, and put them in a little filing cabinet. Relationships aren’t so messy if we can just "slot" them into some mold if we can hammer their dear little square pegs into that ubiquitous round hole.

And you know what’s even worse than doing it to others??

Doing it to ourselves.

Because when we do it to ourselves, it becomes a two-fold danger zone.

One, we start to make excuses for the way we think, or the things we say or do. "Oh, that’s just the way I am." We rationalize away the need for change. Or we beat ourselves up over our shortcomings. "Oh, I’ll never be... I’m really no good at… I hate myself because I’m…"

Or, the other trap, we brag on our strengths.

We think we’re better than the next person. Instead of seeing some of our strengths as natural inborn tendencies, we start to think we’re "all that" because we’re responsible for them. "Oh, I’m wonderful because I’m (fill in the blank) – deep, or organized, or funny, or mellow."

And self-judgers become other-judgers.

It’s a real mess, isn’t it?

Only if you’re looking at things from a human perspective.

But God sees in a totally different way.

He sees us – the real us – the hidden heart of us.

He sees the *us* He made.

And He doesn’t label us, or file us away. He doesn’t slot us into a mold. He doesn’t try to hammer us into a round hole.

He shapes us – He molds us – from the inside out.

Enhancing the strengths, and mending the weaknesses.

IF we turn our lives over to Him – completely.

So, here’s how we all break down:

Birth Order: Born Again

Personality Type: Spirit-filled

Temperament: Focusing inward on Jesus, and going out to share Him with others

Love Language: The blood of Jesus, shed for all

If I’m picking any label – I’m slapping a big ol’ "CHILD OF GOD" on myself!

How about you?

BLOG = "Blessedly Leaning On God!"


  1. Never gave any creedence to that physcological mumbo jumbo. I do like the "new take" however.

  2. Hi Sharon -

    I love this that you expressed, "He sees us – the real us – the hidden heart of us.

    "He sees the *us* He made."

    Praise GOD that He knows the itty bitty details of us. He is our Creator who engineered us so intricately to fit His plans and purposes.

    Glory to our MASTER planner.

  3. What a wonderful post. You hit many points wortth looking at ourselves about. As one trying to find the real me, I truly appreciate your words. I believe thru God's light I will find myself. Good luck on your lecture. I haven't been on the internet for a couple months and just trying to get around and visit a few people a day. Been so busy down here at the Salton Sea. Will be heading back up North in a couple of weeks. Happy Spring to you. Hugs Carrie

  4. GREAT post, dear friend, and GREAT talk this morning!!!
    What a blessing to be a small part of God's ministry- you ROCKED it, girlfriend!
    Love ya!

  5. Okay - I am so excited - how did you do? Fabulous I know. Let us know! sandie

  6. Sharon, I sure you guys done a good job today. I certainly like your take on labels.

  7. Child of God...the only label that doesn't condemn, stiffle or shame. Doesn't cause pride, judgement...or selfishness in any way. Yet stretches us beyond what we'd ever thought we'd become.
    Excellent post Sharon. Hope you and your friends did great today!

  8. I am so glad the talk went well today! seems like a great topic you all had a piece in presenting. I love your birth order too that you came up with; we need to definitely remember who we are in the kingdom of God!!


  9. Well, I have to agree with everyone else--Great Post, Sharon.
    We can do so much damage with labels to ourselves and to others. They trap us into the thinking that we can never change.
    I love your "Child of God" birth order much better. Worth dwelling on.
    Blessings to you,

  10. Gregg - I'm glad you like the new take!! It's really the only one that matters, after all!

    Sandra - Yes, we are indeed his workmanship - in every single detail of who we are - and He sees every single moment of what happens in our lives. He is the Master Planner, who sits on the throne.

    Carrie - What a pleasure to have you visit again! I'm glad that you found some good information in this post. I'd have to agree with you - it is ONLY through God's light that we have any hope of finding our true selves. He knows how He made us.

    Janet - YOU did a great job, too!! Wasn't that such an exciting morning? I am blessed to be in partnership with you and T and L! Together we are becoming who God made us to be.

    Sandie - As I emailed you - it went GREAT! God was with us, and truly blessed our time with the moms. I am so grateful that His Spirit works within me - enabling this firstborn, melancholy, introvert find her purpose in the Lord!

    Wanda - It was a blessed morning. Glad you like this word about "labels." It's so much better to have the image of God stamped on us, isn't it?!

    Mary - Really?! I'm so glad! Joining you in the joy of being a Child of GOD!

    Julie - What a great comment! I just loved what you had to say! Yes, "Child of God" is the most freeing label of all! And He did some stretching this morning, for sure. But it went just great!

    Betty - Thanks for your prayers. Yes, in the Kingdom of God, we are all equal, though unique. None of us deserves to be included - but we are, thanks to the blood of Jesus that bought our way in! Amen?? Amen!

    Janis - Thanks so much, friend. Labels truly are so damaging. Sometimes we don't even realize we're doing it. Yup, God has a better way, for sure - and I am so glad that He frees me to be His child!


  11. I attended a Bible Study with my niece this past week in Michigan. The subject from the book of Ruth...mother in laws. I have one AND am one. Talk about labels.(-:
    I quickly realized I was the Naomi in the group! I bet you did a WONDERFUL job speaking!

  12. Anita - Smiling here! Talk about labels, indeed! Personally, I always liked Naomi :)

    Thanks for the compliment - our talk really went well. And I so enjoyed it. I'm looking forward to going back in two weeks. We'll see if I can keep their interest for 45 minutes as easily as I did with 10!!


    (Again, I'm still smiling every time I think of that picture of Bugsy in the street - what a character!)


"So [I] have been greatly encouraged in the midst of [my] troubles and suffering, dear brothers and sisters, because you have remained strong in your faith. It gives [me] new life to know that you are standing firm in the Lord. How [I] thank God for you!" (1 Thessalonians 3:7-9)

Thanks for your comments - it is such a joy to be sharing my journey with friends like YOU!

(NOTE: Anonymous comments will be removed. Thank you for understanding.)