Monday, October 24, 2011

A DARKENED ROOM

About a week ago, I had to have a medical test done.

I was scared.

Not so much of the test, but of the *waiting for results* and then the *what if it's serious* routine.

After some waiting, the technician called me into the imaging room. She told me they were still running a little behind, and she would be back to start the test in about 10 minutes.

Then she left.

I was now alone, in a very cold and darkened room.

Nervous.

Frightened.

In pain.


I prayed.

I told the Lord that I felt very small. And then I told Him that it was just me and Him in that room together. Just the two of us. Alone.

Just like it had been when I came into the world.

I realized that I had entered this world with nothing really. Just me. My body, my mind, my heart, and my soul. And here I was, almost 58 years later, with nothing really. Just me.

But oh, how I am NOT alone!

I had such a sense of Jesus, that He was literally cradling me as tenderly and closely as He had when I was born. And I felt loved.

We have many things and people that surround us, yes. In our years here on earth, we go many places and have all sorts of experiences. But when it all comes down to it, it's really just each individual person and the Lord.

What to do with Jesus?

That's the eternal question – the only question that matters.

I have answered that one. He's my Savior.

And in that darkened room, I had a physical sense of what it feels like to be His child. It was quiet, and still. And as I talked out loud to Him, I could tell He was so very close. I actually tried to picture Him walking into the room…

The door opened, and in walked a rather nondescript man in a loose white robe and dirty, weather-beaten sandals. He quietly moved over to the table. His eyes were tender and kind, riveted on mine. He put one scarred hand on my shoulder, and the other one on my forehead. And He listened…intently…to my every word.

I quoted Scripture, and He murmured, "Yes, My child. That promise is true. And that one, too."

His eyes glistened with tears.

I didn't get the sense that He was sad, really. Maybe sad for the fallen state of His once-perfect world. But His tears were tears of love. For me. And I could tell that He was moved by my love for Him.

He spoke again.

"Sharon, dear Sharon. I have held your hand before it was even formed. I will hold it for eternity. I have called you by name, you are Mine. And I will never leave you nor forsake you. Take heart, don't be afraid. I am here."

Yes, He was.

And in that darkened room, all alone with Jesus, I quoted Romans 8:38-39, personalizing it just for me:

"And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate ME from God's love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither my fears for today nor my worries about tomorrow – not even the powers of hell can separate ME from God's love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below – indeed, nothing in ALL creation will EVER be able to separate ME from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus MY Lord."

I felt the Lord squeeze my hand, and the technician walked in.

"Are we ready?" she asked.

"Yes," I answered. "WE’RE ready, my Lord and me."


Alone, but never alone.

Nothing really but just me

And a Love that promises that NOTHING will come between His heart and mine.


What do you do when you feel all alone?


(SIDENOTE: My test results were normal, and I am praising the Lord for that!)


***I am linked today with Joan for "SHARING HIS BEAUTY" - C'mon over!


BLOG = "Blessedly Leaning On God!"

17 comments:

  1. It is such an incredible blessing to be loved by God. He is always with us and will stand by us through all situations! I'm so glad you felt His presence in that doctor's office...and that your test results were normal!

    Have a great week, Sharon!

    Blessings, Joan

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  2. Next time I am in for a test - and I hope ours went great - I am going to picture the scene you describe here. It is scary.

    Sandie

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  3. Hi Sharon

    Wow, I am pleased your results were negative. Your description of the Lord's presence with you is awesome.

    I am feeling very much the need of his strengthening, at the moment and do feel His Presence, although not quite in the way you describe.

    I am okay, as far as I know, but I have one daughter with a deep vein thrombosis, another with a few health problems and my husband has just been diagnosed with a bladder tumour, which may or may not be malignant, he has to have operation in next few weeks.

    My hands are full with my grandchildren too.

    But as the hymn says "Because He Lives, I can Face Tomorrow.

    Take Care - God Bless - Nita

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  4. Your love for Jesus just oozes through this post Sharon.

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  5. Amen that your test results were negative, Sharon! I like how you went to the right place when you were feeling alone and scared; you went into the arms of Jesus, the very best place indeed! Good that you prayed and quoted Scripture and pictured him right there with you, because you know indeed he was!!!

    betty

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  6. I too often feel alone in circumstances, but always try and remember I am always surrounded by God and his love. I have been in some very dark rooms before and he was always there to help me not feel alone. I am glad you found that as well. Have a blessed week.

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  7. I can so relate to this post....went through these feelings all through my pregnancy at age 44. All the what "ifs" the world tells you. The test I had and the the ones I refused to have. Such a time of trusting him for not only my life but the life of my child.

    Thanks for sharing such a wonderful truth. Blessings to you also!!

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  8. So glad it all went well. I often feel alone. I find great comfort in prayer and reflection on God's Word. (And I try to stay away from the blasted TV)! :)

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  9. Sharon - I think every woman, at some time in her medical life - can relate to this. Being of a creative bent, I have an overactive imagination. Doctor offices and tests are NOT my best thing. Fearful scripts suddenly start writing themselves in my mind and I fight - like you - to hold onto Truth. That would be Jesus. His love , purposes, hope, and future for me. In ALL things, He is there and able.

    I'm so glad your tests were normal and all is well. Thank you for being so very transparent in your darkened room - a place we all find ourselves - sometimes more frequently than we'd like.

    Praise God for the LIGHT that pierces the darkness!!!

    Joy!
    Kathy

    P.S. Thanks for all your sweet comments - Glad you and Nutkin are getting acquainted. You'll see more of him, I'm sure. As to seeing the Scottish Band. YouTube is awesome! Just go there and search Albannach - click away and enjoy ancient sounds of your homeland! They are devoted to raising awareness of Scottish history and heritage - Scottish nationalism. Very intriguing. Their song, "Ancestors" - which they performed that day - was amazing!

    Joy!
    Kathy

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  10. I love this personal moment with Jesus! And the personalized scripture. Hmm... I have to remember to do that too; to personalize it. Thanks for sharing!

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  11. Fear not. For I have redeemed thee. I have called thee by name. Thou art mine.

    There are not many verses that I say in my heart with all the thees and thous intact, but this one I always do. The English teacher and lover of beautiful language fell in love with this version, and I have yet to change my mind. (As an aside, it happens to be The Practical One's favorite verse in the whole Bible.)

    I was already taken away by the picture you drew in this post. I could see Him, worn sandals and all. I could see the eyes and hear the voice. Then you referenced this verse.

    That was the moment that I usually want to stand and cheer when reading a post. For some reason, this time, I just sat back in my chair and smiled. What you were able to convey in words was the peace that you felt.

    I loved it.

    And I'm so thankful that He not only showed up with comfort but good news.

    AND I definitely need to memorize Romans 8:38-39. "Sort of" knowing it just doesn't cut it.

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  12. This is beautiful, Sharon....to be loved by God with such a deep, abiding love. He is with us throughout the darkest night, the fiercest storm, the deepest valley.

    Thank you for this wonderfully encouraging post.

    I'm so thankful your test results were normal!

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  13. No, we are never alone! thanking God for your good results. (((((HUGS))))

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  14. Absolutely love it! I never leave your blog without being blessed in some way. I am SO glad to hear your tests were negative, and hope you are feeling WELL! I find myself humming some of my favorite hymns in my lonely, scared times. "How Great Thou Art" is one that always comes to me.

    I agree - Romans 8:38-39 is an AWESOME, empowering passage to commit to memory.

    And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Ephesians 3:17-19 is pretty awesome too. If he loves us THAT much, we're never alone or forsaken. ;)

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  15. Sharon,
    I have to agree with Wanda. This post "oozes" with your love for Jesus and your oneness with Him. There is no greater blessing--ever! In the darkened room, you felt His light that banished every fear. Praise God for His presence--and for His healing touch. Glad the results were good.

    Blessings,
    Janis

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  16. AMEN and blessings Sharon...I have to third that accolade of how much this "oozes with your love of Jesus," His comfort for you and "your oneness with Him"...

    Having just gone through a very similar circumstance this week, right here, and coming out of the 'battle', weather worn but victorious ... I hope that the pain has passed for good... and I am being reformed... to drink lots of water. Yet being in a foreign country, I just did not want to trust the medical professionals
    and counted on God ...

    All of your vulnerabilities (feelings shared), I felt... so much so my blood pressure was incredibly high 169/105, 149/98 and 159/92. If my results did not show some of the problem, I too would have to have an ultra sound... and that's not so bad(except maybe cost)but sitting ALONE with your own thoughts racing to the worse case scenarios(like my dogs trapped at home with no one)(lol)WAITING!!!

    But then you and God come through with personalizing Romans 8:38-39. YEAH!!! I saw Him squeeze your hand and hold it. I'm thanking Him that your results are negative! I'm praising Him that the pain does pass, even the 'getting older ones' for women... yet God is ever so faithful!

    You inspire me!

    I'm glad I came after everyone else... so I could share (and write my typical book response)

    When I am ALONE (which I am daily) I depend on that touch from God! I can go outside and escape being alone, but yet I choose to spend this time
    allowing God to sort me out, help me out and speak ever so tenderly... The best part is when
    HE DOES like He did for you and then you turn it around into your testimony to use for His glory!

    Nothing better than filling your thoughts with God's thoughts for you when you 'feel' alone but it's even better when God touches you, especially through sisters in Christ, true friends that embrace and help you through to the victory! Praying...

    Love,
    Peggy

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  17. ohhh p.s. I like your plan for switching it around because these are precious and taking Scripture and either making it a letter from God, or how you used to interact with your own thoughts, I really LOVE too! It reaches us where we are... Fan the Flame is good too!

    I sent an email to remove my Giving Thanks Challenge button since Joan (and others are doing it)I won't be hosting one!

    Best to you again... me

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"So [I] have been greatly encouraged in the midst of [my] troubles and suffering, dear brothers and sisters, because you have remained strong in your faith. It gives [me] new life to know that you are standing firm in the Lord. How [I] thank God for you!" (1 Thessalonians 3:7-9)

Thanks for your comments - it is such a joy to be sharing my journey with friends like YOU!

(NOTE: Anonymous comments will be removed. Thank you for understanding.)