I recently had a birthday.
More like UH OH than WOO HOO at my age…
And, because I'm just an aging bovine – I ruminated.
What have I accomplished in my life?
So, I started rattling off all the wonderful things I've done, all the stupid things I've done – all the times I hit the mark, all the times I was woefully off target – the words I've written, the things I've said –
And because I am who I am – I thought about all the things I haven't done.
And there is no other area where I think about this more than in my faith journey.
I have a pressing, compelling desire to do something for the Lord. And every time a birthday rolls around, I get a little panicky. I look at the sand in that old hourglass and wonder – just how much time do I have left? What if I don’t do what the Lord wants me to do? What if I don't finish His work?
I've got dreams – speaking, writing, publishing dreams. Big ones and small ones. A laundry list of things I want to do.
Yes, I want to do these things for the Lord.
But sometimes it just doesn't seem like any of it is going to happen.
And I am terrified to not find my purpose, fulfill my mission, use my gifts before time runs out.
What if I end up disappointing God?
What if I enter the gates of Heaven and I don't hear Him say, "Well done, good and faithful servant"?
I don't want to meet Him face to face with a smudged robe, a half-empty life, a woefully inadequate resume –
I want Him to be proud of me.
And I'd like Him to proud of me now, too.
I want to do something for Him…
So I cry out – "LORD! What do You want me to do for You???"
I wait.
There's no burning bush, no thunder in the sky – not even a talking donkey.
"Sharon…"
Yes, the still, small voice – the Voice that means business.
I'm expecting Him to reveal to me what it is that He wants me to do. (You know what I'm talking about – that *IT* – The Life Purpose in capital letters).
"Sharon, it's not what I want you to do FOR Me…"
It's not?
"No, it's what I want to do IN you through the doing."
Hmmm…God let me ponder that one the rest of the day.
It really stopped me in my tracks. I'm always thinking about my DOING – and God's always thinking about my BEING. I'm concerned with accomplishment – He's concerned about character. I care about goals – He cares about transformation. I want to be useful – He wants me to be holy. I'm all about the end result – He's all about the means…
This was a profound thought to me – and a profoundly freeing one at that.
I got to thinking about my blog, for instance. About all the things I set out to do. All the things I wanted to accomplish. All the things I'd written. How I'd judged what I wrote, evaluated it, dissected it – deciding whether it was effective or not.
But I looked again – from God's perspective.
I looked at what He has done IN me through the process of writing this blog. He is transforming my thinking, changing my character, conforming me to His image. And yes, He's working some holiness in there, too!
In the doing, He is making things happen in my heart.
He is revealing Himself to me.
Could I ask for anything more?
It really is what we were all made for – to know Him and glorify His Name forever.
That is *IT* – The Life Purpose – The End To All Means – the thing I want more than anything else.
To look like Him when I see Him face to face…
"And so, dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you to give your bodies to God because of all he has done for you. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice – the kind he will find acceptable. This is truly the way to worship him."
(Romans 12:1)
"What can we bring to the LORD?...the LORD has told you what is good, and this is what he requires of you: to do what is right, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God." (Micah 6:6, 8)
"You take no delight in sacrifices or offerings. Now that you have made me listen, I finally understand…I take joy in doing your will, my God, for your instructions are written on my heart." (Psalm 40:6, 8)
"I want you to know me more than I want burnt offerings." (Hosea 6:6)
"Is it really just Me?"
"Yes, Lord – it really is."
BLOG = "Blessedly Leaning On God!"
Hi Sharon -
ReplyDeleteRest in the Father, dear sister in Christ. His peace passes all understanding. He loves you so much and delights in Your love for Him.
This, in particular, moved me "I'm concerned with accomplishment – He's concerned about character. I care about goals – He cares about transformation. I want to be useful – He wants me to be holy."
Very well expressed, Sharon. That word holy speaks volumes above all the rest! May our Lord help us all to perfect holiness. Glory to His awesome name.
Note: For some reason...I have had "interference" today commenting on your blog. It kept "rejecting" my entry.
Whatever it is - it is NOT bigger than GOD!
The Lord Christ always WINS!!!
Love, Sandra
Anointed words...just what I needed to read today...
ReplyDeleteNote: Blogger is acting up this morning with the comments...
NOTE: I'm not sure what the problem is. For a few hours earlier today, I was unable to access my blog at all. That seems to have resolved itself. I hope the other issues do too.
ReplyDeleteThank you for your persistence in leaving these comments - it means a lot to me.
GOD BLESS!
Sunday I had the honor of hearing Billy Graham's grandson preach at our church, he is now the head pastor of Coral Ridge in Florida...his sermon addressed this completely.
ReplyDeleteI think my blog should be "Preaching to Me" because through it God has gotten a hold of my heart and convicted me.
Thanks for sharing...you always say it so well and usually it is the same outpouring of my own heart.
Sharon,
ReplyDeleteWonderful post. First, let me wish you a Happy Belated Birthday! (I think I missed it, but I'm so forgetful these days, that I can't remember if I remembered your birthday or forgot it!)
As to your thoughts on "one more candle" all I can say is, "Been there, done that!" to every word you wrote. And also, the wonderful answer God gave, He has given to me as well. He is so loving and patient, isn't He?
He certainly is working in and through you, Sharon. It's evident in your writing. Even in the time since I've met you, I have seen growth, and I don't even know you personally (though I hope to some day:) He has made Himself to shine through you and your words. He has touched my heart and taught me over and over as I've read.
As we stay submitted to Him, and have a heart desiring to please Him, He will show us through His Word what His will is, where to repent, and how to obey. It is He Who bears fruit in and through us (I pray for that, too) and we who abide in Him, and His Word. (Read John 15)
I think all these same thoughts often. Let's pray for each other. I know that would please Him, for sure.
Blessings,
Wendy
So many blessings Sharon... and such profound gems of wisdom as you work this through in your writing! I read this, pondered, read it again, reflected and I know without a doubt that God is speaking to you and accomplishing ALL in and through you and your blog, too so I'm sure in all areas as well of ministry or personal life! I agree with Karen and Sandra...not only are your words anointed but they speak to each of us. I LOVE the part Sandra highlighted also, it's my favorite part
ReplyDelete"I'm always thinking about my DOING – and God's always thinking about my BEING. I'm concerned with accomplishment – He's concerned about character. I care about goals – He cares about transformation. I want to be useful – He wants me to be holy. I'm all about the end result – He's all about the means…"
You, Sharon, faithful servant of God, BEING, show character, transformation, and usefulness as you become HOLY. He's etching and refining us to BE HOLY indeed...HE HAS and IS REVEALING HIMSELF TO YOU and us through the gift you share in the written word. I am honored and blessed to
know you via your written word. The scriptures you chose flow with His grace and love.
Do you know Him? Are you doing all you can to know, love and serve Him? I believe so... I'm so glad to see that you are BREAKING FREE in thought and word and action(?) HE IS PLEASED! No burning bush, no thunder, no donkey...yet you hear HIS STILL SMALL VOICE and He is singing over you...
I came to share once again TODAY'S PROMISE ~
TODAY'S ACTION POINT: Knowing that I can trust God to meet my every need no matter what happens, I shall seek first the kingdom of God. Through the enabling of the Holy Spirit, I will live a godly life, a supernatural life for the glory of my Savior, and I will tell others how faithful and trustworthy He is.
And YOU DO but better yet YOU ARE HIS BELOVED ~ BELIEVE and RECEIVE!!!
Love, peace and JOY with a big HUG,
Peggy
Wendy was writing and sending hers at the same time and when my comment was rejected, I took the time to read hers and DITTO!!! I agree!
Sharon - you are wonderful and God made you that way. Your light just shines for HIM - in your blog, in your home, in your children, in your letters, and in your speech. Just keep doing it and I hate you worry so.
ReplyDeleteA BIG THANK YOU to all of you who left comments on this post. As you know, Blogger had "issues" the last few days, and this post and its comments were lost. However, I was able to read them before they were wiped out. :)
ReplyDeleteAnd I can't thank you enough for all you said.
Keep doing God's work, and let Him work in the doing!
GOD BLESS!
well I can leave a comment that won't be erased since I didn't get a chance to post a comment last night when Blogger was down.
ReplyDeleteI LOVED THIS Sharon! I'm glad the post didn't get lost though the comments did. You spoke from your heart feelings that a lot of us have, wanting to make a BIG difference in our lives for the Lord, but he revealed it so well to you. It is how we live and how we allow him to shape us. I so totally agree and am thankful you shared his message with us!!!!!!!!!
betty
Betty - THANK YOU!! How He keeps showing me that it's all about Him - and that I am most happy when I pursue Him with all of my heart! And truly, the more I know Him, and the more I let Him work in me - well, the more effective I become for Him!
ReplyDeleteGOD BLESS!